Tom Petty’s Super Bowl Performance Rocked Softly, Simulated A Big Dick

There’s no doubt Tom Petty was a safe choice for entertainment in this desexualized, post-wardrobe-malfunction Super Bowl halftime era we find ourselves in, but it’s nice to see the NFL still knows the imagination capturing ability of a good ol’ phallic allusion. Last year’s Best Super Bowl Halftime Ever featured of course Prince’s pointy purple cock which must’ve left a good taste in the entertainment organizers’ mouths; watch as “American Girl” starts, after the heartbeats, and after the hot six-string injection.

Aside from that little sexual interlude, though, this was a no frills, bearded, sorta boring, free fallin’ halftime show; a Heartbreakers performance by billing and personnel (note the band’s logo formed by the Flying V’s heart penetration, Mike Campbell’s licks and skinny Adam Duritz look), but interestingly featuring three songs from Petty’s solo debut Full Moon Fever (“I Won’t Back Down,” “Free Fallin’,” “Runnin’ Down A Dream”). Check ‘em after the jump.

“I Won’t Back Down”

“Free Fallin'”

“Runnin’ Down A Dream”

If you missed it, you didn’t miss much — but at least now you’re caught up. Lip syncing? Really? Didn’t think so! You? Also if you were wondering “how old is tom petty” after the game, you weren’t alone: that search was #2 post-game on Google Trends (#6 this morning — fyi he’s 57).

In other news, yes that was “No Cars Go” in a commercial for the NFL itself after halftime (apparently used without permission).

And in a footnote to Tom Petty’s and Arcade Fire’s involvement with the festivities Sunday, the Giants pulled off arguably the biggest upset in Super Bowl history with a dramatic 17-14 victory, ruining the Patriots perfect season and Tom Brady’s perfect life (if only for one night). Told ya!