The Four Greatest Performances Of The 2008 Grammys

Maybe “great” is too strong a word. And five is too high a number for a list like this. If you missed the ceremony, we don’t blame you (no Wire spoilers, please), but we can’t condone spending more than twenty minutes catching up. First up, a reunited Time show us what a Prince remix of “Umbrella” would sound like.

Hey Jimmy Jam, is that the same keytar featured in THE GREATEST GRAMMY PERFORMANCE OF ALL TIME?

So far so good. Then Cuba Gooding, Jr. shows up.

That does not generally bode well for an entertaining evening, but in this case it means things can only get better, as keytar-wielding Mr. Jones would say. After a year supporting Back To Black on the road, you’d think Amy Winehouse would know what do to with her arms. At least she got to show off her new chompers, and give a shoutout to her incarcerated husband. Here’s “You Know I’m No Good” and “Rehab.”

Kanye and Daft Punk’s “Stronger” was more fun, even if no, we’re not honored you would show up to this fake shit, Kanye. You love them award shows. Puh-lease.

Beyonce gives it up to the great ladies of Grammys past, then Tina Turner takes the stage and performs a song we’re actually excited to hear for a change.

If you’re dying to watch a clown tribute to “A Day In The Life” or the iPod lady do her counting song, you know where to find ‘em (hint: it’s where Foo Fighters found their violinist), but don’t say we didn’t warn you.