Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

It’s autumn, you guys. FINALLY, amirite? Like Meg Ryan says in Corban’s favorite movie, something something bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. And aside from pencils, a cool thing about autumn is all the new TV shows to keep us company. Did you watch X Factor? What about New Girl? Zooey Deschanel sings in it a lot, and even wrote the theme song because she is our generation’s Chuck Lorre. I think the show will stick around for a while. Unfortunately can’t say the same for 2 Broke Girls whose laugh track and references to Arcade Fire and Coldplay (the lead characters work at a diner in Williamsburg) came off as desperate and unfunny. Much like this week’s Worst comments! Good segue. Enjoy this week’s Shut Up, Dude rankings below.

THIS WEEK’S 10 HIGHEST RATED COMMENTS

#10 The Aura of the H-Man | Sep 21st Score:9

I’m torn between being nostalgic and not caring. The first real concert I ever went to was R.E.M. at the Pacific Amphitheater on the Green tour. Everything from Chronic Town through Document probably rates somewhere in my personal top 100. But I’ve not paid much attention since Monster. Tastes change, I guess, both mine and theirs.

On another note, I’m never really sure why bands, especially ones that have been around this long, need to announce breakups. It’s not like a store going out of business, alerting customers that they won’t be there anymore. Bands either tour or they don’t. They release new albums or they don’t. Look at GBV. There’s very little difference, if any, between “breaking up” and “just kinda not doing it anymore, until at some point maybe we are”.

Posted in: R.E.M. Call It Quits
#9 Michael_ | Sep 21st Score:9

Let this be a note to all influential indie rockers: Before you break up, let it not be one final sold-out concert or incredible album that you leave your fans with, but rather a peen pic of your frontman. James Murphy, you did it all wrong…

Posted in: R.E.M. Call It Quits
#8 topknot | Sep 21st Score:9

This is a bummer, as I feel they were hitting a nice, new stride from “Accelerate” to “Collapse Into Now.” The latter does make a nice swan song, though.

Posted in: R.E.M. Call It Quits
#7 djfreshie | Sep 19th Score:9

This is exactly the kind of article Theduchessofthomyorke would have loved…

Posted in: Radiohead Playing 2 Shows At Roseland Ballroom, 1 Hour Colbert Report Next Week
#6 djfreshie | Sep 17th Score:9

Those pictures of song titles were not safe for work.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: The Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#5 the dilemma | Sep 16th Score:9

“These songs became part of the atmosphere almost immediately, and that’s something that only ever happens when there’s a serious amount of craft involved.” / I think the Black-Eyed Peas have a little something to say about that.

Posted in: Use Your Illusion Turns 20
#4 MikeyObviously | Sep 16th Score:10

Wait…so trolling is cool now? Not sure if I can get behind that…

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: The Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#3 The Aura of the H-Man | Sep 21st Score:12

Act that would do well: Annie Clark.

Act that would not do well: St. Vincent.

If it were left to singing, she’s got the look, the voice, everything. If she sang AND played St. Vincent songs, I think that scratchy, angular, experimental shit would freak them the fuck out (though I absolutely love it).

Posted in: Five Indie Types Who Would Do Well On X Factor… And Five Who Wouldn’t
#2

Connor Johnson | Sep 21st Score:19

This is one of the strangest articles I’ve seen on Stereogum.

Posted in: Five Indie Types Who Would Do Well On X Factor… And Five Who Wouldn’t
#1

Michael Robenalt | Sep 21st Score:24

eh his penis isn’t as good as it was in the 80s and 90s. He stills performs live pretty well but the creative spark of his penis just isn’t there.

Posted in: Michael Stipe’s Dick (NSFW, Obvs)

THIS WEEK’S 5 LOWEST RATED COMMENTS

#5 ddogdunit | Sep 20th Score:-4

i guess wallets are tight since tyondai (smartly) jumped this sinking ship.

Posted in: Battles Soundtrack FIFA Soccer 12 Commercial
#4

Ruben Machado | Sep 21st Score:-5

Who the hell cares about Radiohead or boring Yorke anymore.

Posted in: Radiohead Tour, Atoms For Peace LP In 2012
#3 Michael_ | Sep 19th Score:-5

This was definitely a mistake to share my link. I’ll continue reading silently and keeping things to myself from the sidelines from now on…

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: The Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#2 ddogdunit | Sep 21st Score:-6

y’know i was ABOUT to listen to this, then i realized it’s not even worth sifting through that 40 minute fallon clip. CYHSY must be the saddest band on the planet, who possibly cares about them anymore?

Posted in: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Visit Fallon
#1 mactatio | Sep 21st Score:-9

Great news and good riddance! Shiny Happy People my ass. Goodbye annoying Michael Stipe. Now, if we only can get rid of Bono…

Posted in: R.E.M. Call It Quits

EDITOR’S CHOICE (SCOTT)

wetallica | Sep 19th Score:4

No joke – I just played this clip and within the first 25 seconds, I involuntarily and simultaneously crapped into my hand while snorting a line of staples. Now I’m sitting here with a marketing report I’ll have to tape together and a palm ful of assdirt.

These are the days of our lives.

Posted in: Lou Reed & Metallica – “The View” (30 Second Preview)

EDITOR’S CHOICE (AMRIT)

Ruben Machado | Sep 21st Score:0

That’s fake. Trust me.

Posted in: Michael Stipe’s Dick (NSFW, Obvs)

[Editor’s Note: This comment is immeasurably more pleasurable the way I read it, which is with italic tags around the last sentence.’]