New Mariah Carey Video (Feat. Kenny The Page) – “Touch My Body”

Evidently having an album title that references Einstein (which is so blasphemous ’cause Albert really did have much better hair) wasn’t offbeat enough for Mariah Carey². So for the record’s first video she secured the directorial talent of Brett Ratner, whose reputation for excellence was established with Rush Hour 3 but was cemented with his guest judging stint on FOX’s little seen movie-making reality show The Lot, where his special hacky mix of cockiness and apathy really shone. Ratner says Mariah’s “hysterical and this record is kind of funny,” and so he cast a funny guy (30 Rock’s Jack McBrayer) as a computer nerd fantasizing about what it would be like to be with Mimi. Sort of an expensively executed, wasted concept overall though; the laser tag and unicorns and Hot Wheels race sequences are all pretty limp, but at least there is funny to be found in McBrayer’s melisma and in imagining the massive bill on that porn-mansion rental.

E=MC² is out 4/15 via Island.