El Gummo

Comments from El Gummo

You've barely scratched the surface. On "Poison" by Bell Biv DeVoe: "If you can’t identify 'Poison' by the chattering drum intro alone, then you’re hopelessly ill-equipped to have any meaningful discussions of modern music. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. If someone says 'never trust a big butt and a smile' and you don’t catch the reference, then you’re probably a complete square." On "Motownphilly" by Boyz II Men: "This song has it all: snappy banter about how well they can sing, a video featuring their orange blazers and high-top haircuts, something about all the steaks they can eat, that part where they go 'dmm dmm dmm da da,' and the best drum intro this side of 'Poison.' Verdict: A heartbreaking glance at an alternate universe in which Boyz II Men didn’t suck." And those are both from the same article.
+3 |
March 21, 2019 on Beto O’Rourke Addresses Whether He’ll Reunite Mars Volta If He Becomes President
The Your Band Sucks column on Something Awful came at them hard at least once or twice. Also: That column is early-Internet music nerd gold.
+6 |
March 21, 2019 on Beto O’Rourke Addresses Whether He’ll Reunite Mars Volta If He Becomes President
A friend played me "Inertiatic ESP" for the first time back in 2003, and I thought, "Wow! I didn't know Cedric could sing like that." I then downloaded a live performance of "Inertiatic ESP" from KaZaA, and I thought, "Wow! Now I know Cedric can't sing like that."
+11 |
March 21, 2019 on Beto O’Rourke Addresses Whether He’ll Reunite Mars Volta If He Becomes President
*"Walt Disney Pictures Presents Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse: A Star Wars Story: Sunflower Rising"
+5 |
March 21, 2019 on Vampire Weekend Cover Post Malone
"We are not so different, you and I..."
+6 |
March 21, 2019 on Vampire Weekend Cover Post Malone
Yo but seriously "All for You" was my jam when I was 11
+3 |
March 20, 2019 on Stereogum Presents: Nochella
This has to be a misquote. Now if they had called Tenacious D a "damp squib" or busted flush," I would believe you.
+2 |
March 20, 2019 on Lollapalooza 2019 Lineup
I could never tell whether that line was defending MJ or attacking the kind of person who would defend MJ just because he's talented and black.
+5 |
March 8, 2019 on Simpsons Episode Featuring Michael Jackson’s Voice Pulled From Circulation
They'll never top "I’m a feminist. I’m a dude. And I hate that I love to grill," which you'd swear to God is an Onion article.
+16 |
March 6, 2019 on Michael Jackson Dropped From Some Radio Stations Following Child Sex Abuse Doc
This Slate piece is easily the greatest/dumbest thing to come out of this entire controversy. "Unfortunately, however, Leaving Neverland offers up a racial spectacle—two white men trashing the reputation of a black man—and then refuses to grapple with that spectacle’s historical dimensions." Exactly how warped do you have to be to think this? "Whether or not the allegations presented in the film are true, and whether or not it ever intended to do so, Leaving Neverland dangerously reinforces the gay-folks-are-predators stereotype—if only because it never acknowledges that such a stereotype exists in the first place." #NotAllGays, and $1 million says if they had acknowledged it, this yutz would be out there saying even acknowledging the stereotype perpetuates it.
+16 |
March 6, 2019 on Michael Jackson Dropped From Some Radio Stations Following Child Sex Abuse Doc
R.I.P. And I'm sorry. I have to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDXNfe2W8c8
+11 |
March 4, 2019 on The Prodigy’s Keith Flint Dead At 49
C - "After three days in the desert fun"
+11 |
February 22, 2019 on The Number Ones: America’s “A Horse With No Name”
phospho they legit think I’m you
+4 |
February 14, 2019 on YNW Melly Charged In Double Murder
Are you the guy I politely refrained from correcting yesterday by explaining that "posse" implies "armed"—not criminality—and that words don't infer things—people do—and that "posse" is used interchangeably with "crew" and "entourage" to mean people of any race who follow a celebrity around, which is why Julia used "entourage" in the very next paragraph to describe the exact same group of people, and that maybe you should look shit up before you run around calling out professional music journalists for dog-whistle that racism that isn't dog-whistle racism? ❤️ Bless
+1 |
February 14, 2019 on YNW Melly Charged In Double Murder
Anyone else catch that present tense? "And I do inhale—I did inhale."
+13 |
February 13, 2019 on People Are Giving Kamala Harris A Hard Time About Her Tupac & Snoop Comments
Is "posse" racist now, too? I've always liked "hangers-on."
+3 |
February 13, 2019 on Usher And Rich The Kid Involved In Studio Armed Robbery
Are they ad-libbing everything? What the fuck is going on?
+1 |
February 10, 2019 on Grammys 2019: Winners List & Comment Party
We are in desperate need of another political shorthand for "shit is bad right now."
+14 |
February 8, 2019 on Thom Yorke Compares Theresa May’s Brexit Negotiations To “The Early Days Of The Third Reich”
I thought "Sunday Morning" by VU invented indie pop.
+23 |
February 6, 2019 on The Number Ones: Paul & Linda McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”
inb4 "Everybody steals." Listen to the whole episode. This ain't Iggy Pop writing "Lust for Life" to sound like a Motown song or "Blurred Lines" nodding to "Got to Give It Up" by Marvin Gaye. It's "I'm gonna use the same chords in the same order with the same melody in the same part of the song, all with full knowledge of which song I'm ripping off."
+8 |
February 5, 2019 on Rivers Cuomo Still Hasn’t Watched SNL’s Weezer Sketch, But Is “Almost Sexually Aroused Looking At Spreadsheets”
Especially that detailed spreadsheet he talked about on the "Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori" episode of Song Exploder, the one of other people's songs he likes and wants to steal. Don't worry: He makes an anagram of the original title to make himself forget it was written by someone else and trick himself into thinking he wrote it.
+7 |
February 5, 2019 on Rivers Cuomo Still Hasn’t Watched SNL’s Weezer Sketch, But Is “Almost Sexually Aroused Looking At Spreadsheets”
"Not Illegal (To Be Wack)" is a rap song that needs to exist.
+31 |
February 4, 2019 on ICE’s Arrest Of 21 Savage Is An Outrage
Or, like LL, politely asked that we not consider the song to which we were listening a comeback.
+10 |
January 31, 2019 on Backstreet’s Back, But It’s Not Alright
Mrs. Gummo is #TeamBSB and fucking PUMPED to see them in Vegas.
+6 |
January 31, 2019 on Backstreet’s Back, But It’s Not Alright