Comments from ellisdean

Well, I guess that settles it then...Ahmet really is the Devil (and not the one from Titties & Beer).
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September 21, 2017 on A Frank Zappa Hologram Is Going On Tour
I want to spend the $50k and send Gene to Roger Waters's house; they can have a nice chat about Israel.
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September 12, 2017 on For $50,000 Gene Simmons Will Come To Your House With 10 CDs
AJFA doesn't sound as bad as St. Anger. There's no excuse for what they did on that. I think Metallica thinks they have to do a "shitty mix" album every time they get a new bassist.
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August 15, 2017 on Metallica Producer Says …And Justice For All’s Horrible Mix Isn’t His Fault
The delay came from everyone in the Billboard office falling asleep after the first three tracks of Lana's new album.
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August 2, 2017 on After Chart Delay Billboard Crowns Lana Del Rey’s Lust For Life #1 In Tight Race
"Sonic marker"? As in, the most Rubinesque sounding album? Probably wither RHCP's BSSM, the first Danzig album, or Petty's Wallflowers; e.g. the "not-very-produced" sound. Maybe also (don't laugh) Slayer's Seasons in the Abyss. However since probably '99 that distinctive sound has all but disappeared. Perhaps fifteen years ago this Rubin/Strokes news would be great news. Now it's just...interesting.
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July 28, 2017 on The Strokes Are Recording With Rick Rubin Says Albert Hammond, Sr.
This is the best thing that Stereogum has posted in quite a while. And "She Wanted To Leave" is indeed the best damned song on the album.
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July 11, 2017 on Ween’s The Mollusk Turns 20: An Oral History By Mickey Melchiondo
I'm seeing Roger Waters this weekend. I love his music, and I'm looking forward to the show, but damn...when he opens his mouth he can be an insufferable blowhard (see: the interviews in Live from Pompeii, for example). I get what Roger's saying. And I agree that it's an apartheid-like system; if it was truly a democratic scene in Israel, the Palestinians would soon be running the show because their population growth is rapidly outpacing Israel's. But Thom is right, too. There has to be a dialog and a cultural embargo does not work (there were many other far more important factors in the South Africa example). Culture helps tear down walls and spread ideas. Keeping those lines of communication open are vital for progress. This whole back & forth does nothing...*nothing* for the "BDS picket line" or for Radiohead's ticket sales. All it does is paint two multimillionaire rock stars as a couple of guys bitching about stuff that they seriously have zero impact on. But hey...they're both on tour now, so it's like free publicity, right? I guess this is all worth it if it keeps their names in the headlines and sells those tickets. They'll have a great laugh about it backstage at some mega festival.
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June 5, 2017 on Roger Waters Responds To Thom Yorke’s Defense Of Radiohead’s Israel Concert
Yeah, but it got everybody here to "READ WHAT MAYNARD SAID...IT'LL SHOCK YOU!" Stereogum is about eight months away from being a slightly musically concerned Buzzfeed...
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May 30, 2017 on Tool Had A Message For “Snowflakes” On Memorial Day Weekend
No Bill Ward? No Sabbath.
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February 5, 2017 on Black Sabbath Play Final Concert
Clearly we need to mandate that every single musician give their political opinions online so we know who to shun and who is OK. We have to identify ALL these people so we know who is appropriate and who should be sent to the cultural gulag. We must to be sure that everybody thinks EXACTLY the same way we all do, or else something is very wrong. Free speech is good & all, but really, in times like these, we need to make sure everybody is in line or else they need to be silenced, right? Jokes must never "punch down". All humor must fall into appropriate categories. If not, the joke-teller or opinionista will be re-educated into the appropriate ways for expressing themselves. Your political support must fall neatly into one of two categories: centrist left, or progressive left. Green is too "kooky" unless you're a singer-songwriter. Right, guys? Let's get started...as soon as these 55 year-old thrash musicians are straightened out.
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January 25, 2017 on Fuck Slayer
That Preminger track is killer...thanks. Looking forward to this new column.
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January 20, 2017 on Ugly Beauty: The Month In Jazz – January 2017
Don't like it? Don't watch it. Complaining about something just makes it more popular. If people ignore it, it will LITERALLY go away (as if Trump isn't enough of a lesson in this). Twitter, BTW, should be off-limits to anyone who isn't a comedian or a musician.
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December 21, 2016 on Rostam Criticizes La La Land’s Lack Of LGBTQ Characters And People Of Color
The most surprising thing in the story is that he married Daisy Fuentes. They must have insanely attractive offspring.
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December 20, 2016 on Richard Marx Stops Passenger Attack On Korean Air Flight
No mention of Ty Segall. Seriously? New one comes out Jan. 27. You guys get your pants all tight over some LCD Snoozesystem nonsense but forget the guy who released one of the best albums last year. At least you remembered King Gizzard, I guess.
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December 14, 2016 on The 101 Most Anticipated Albums Of 2017
Huh...one delusional, egomaniacal, talentless douchebag with a plastic wife admires another delusional, egomaniacal, talentless douchebag with a plastic wife . Go figure.
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November 18, 2016 on Kanye West: “If I Would’ve Voted, I Would’ve Voted On Trump”
I see you've got your Marin/Portland-to-English phrasebook out by your use of "privilege" & "marginalized people". Are you sure you don't work for the store. It's clear the store is run by giant sellouts who only cry foul when they're not reaping enough of a benefit. It took them five years to figure out that it wasn't going to work out? Now, I don't want to make a crack about women being bad at math, but holy hell...if they couldn't figure out after the first encounter with the IFC crew that it wasn't going to work, then this "poor us" stuff is just nonsense. They've been ok with being the butt of the jokes as long as the illusion of money (through "free" publicity from the store being featured in the show)...but when that money never materialized because SURPRISE...the market for "lit for womyn" is a little anemic, they decided to pull the rip cord and make a stink about it. I personally don't care for the show anymore...the past couple of seasons have been tired and unfunny. But this store is validating every single stereotype that they find hurtful. They're hurting themselves and their "community" by acting like the very people they despise. Don't you see that? Obviously they can do whatever they want with their store, but this little e-tantrum that they're throwing hurts them more than showing that they have "principles" or whatever they think they have. Nothing is holy...or, at least, SHOULD be holy. Free expression is vitally important to societal progress and to the creation of art (no matter what form it takes). Either get on board or get out of the way, but take your "hurt feelings" somewhere else. People have stuff to create and we can't pull over the progress train every time there's a kid with a skinned knee.
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September 30, 2016 on Portland’s Real-Life Feminist Bookstore: “Fuck Portlandia”
The only thing missing on the "Complete Experience" video is a voice over stating "Talk to your doctor before taking Coachelocash. Side effects may include floppy hats on menopausal women, bike riding in slow motion, and some guy in a ringer-T who has never held a guitar in his life."
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September 29, 2016 on Oldchella By The Numbers: $1,000 Per Person, 1,000 Flushable Toilets
Dusk is a masterpiece from the mid-90's musical wilderness. Black Foliage is also great, but it stands on the shoulders of a giant in Cubist Castle. OTC's lack of a breakthrough wasn't for a lack of genuine effort; I saw them open for Beck on his Odelay tour...so they were *there*, front and center. It's just that their audience wasn't (I wasn't a fan until a song into their set...and then I became a zealot). They seem to me to be a band that was better suited for today's massively fragmented online musical marketplace than a traditional music retail model.
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September 21, 2016 on Elephant 6 & Friends Reflect On The Legacy Of The Olivia Tremor Control’s Dusk At Cubist Castle
So...wait...he's right about the fluff stories, but he's being a "huge dick"? Of course it's time consuming to produce at a high level...but people (supposedly) come to SG for actual content, not old reposts of crap that's marginally related to music. It takes just as much time to write a half-hearted recap of an Ellen segment as it does to write up a quick blurb about a new & emerging artist. And saying it's not really any of his business is...well...curiously stupid.
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September 15, 2016 on Watch Ariana Grande Try To Explain What A Dick Bicycle Is To Ellen DeGeneres
Wow, stalking on FB and then posting here, eh? That's both creepy AND sad! Congratulations, you are an honorary Redditor...
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September 15, 2016 on Watch Ariana Grande Try To Explain What A Dick Bicycle Is To Ellen DeGeneres
Some idiot got their feelings hurt by a white reggae artist...I don't even know where to begin to stop caring about any of it. Hint: if you put a picture of your child on social media, be prepared for some people to not like your spawn. Just FYI.
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August 10, 2016 on Matisyahu Apologizes For Telling Fan Her Child Is “Ugly As Fuck”
I can't wait for the all-male remake of the all-female redo of the franchise reboot of the original.
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August 10, 2016 on Rihanna Joins All-Female Ocean’s Eleven Spinoff Alongside Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling
Makes sense, seeing as he had to get his wife involved for his last hit...
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June 29, 2016 on Paul Simon May Retire From Music After This Year
"I was raised in the art world by a dad who painted aggro scenes of sexuality and war and a mom who, ironically enough, has photographed some butt naked life-sized dolls of her own." It's like she's having a douche-off with Kanye... Lena, honey, it's not a contest.
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June 27, 2016 on Lena Dunham On Kanye’s “Famous” Video: “It Gives Me Such A Sickening Sense Of Dis-ease”
There's a difference between cultural appropriation, and plain ol' bad choices. Anybody but Bob covering "Redemption Song" is the latter.
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June 27, 2016 on Justin Timberlake Apologizes For Commenting On Jesse Williams’ BET Awards Speech
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
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June 14, 2016 on Morrissey Is A Bernie Bro
Here I aaaaaaaam at Dairy Queen oh yeah....
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June 6, 2016 on Axl Rose Wants Google To Remove Fat Axl Meme
Is it ok to think that both SJW's are fascists who are afraid of free speech AND Billy's a friggin' crazy nutbar? Can we get a Venn diagram together for this?
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May 12, 2016 on Billy Corgan Compares Bernie Sanders To Chairman Mao