Comments from hazel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfS_J7jtsaI I think we all agree that this monologue should be said as fast as possible except when you're pausing at weird points for no reason, right? Start working on the script for Mean Girls 3D, Hollywood, SHEEZANACHRAL.
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January 28, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Quiet
"Saturday Night Love"? Sounds like Gabe was pretty distracted this week.
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December 20, 2010 on Saturday Night Live: Jeff Bridges And Eminem And Lil Wayne
I'm pretty sure it's "I think I've made a laaaaarge error" VERBATIM.
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June 18, 2010 on Playing Paintball With The Cast Of The Wire, Sort Of
Every time I use his pasta sauce, I like to imagine him pausing in the street, listening to the wind for a second then nodding almost imperceptibly to himself, knowing that he has done well.
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June 11, 2010 on Les Grossman: The Movie
The other day while I was walking my dog, he started limping then when I laid him down to see what was wrong he sneezed up a bee. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't know how to post pictures.
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April 29, 2010 on Chelsea Handler Sex Tape Thread Or Animals Eating Birthday Cake Thread
Most people would leave it at what is actually a very humorous joke. Not Steve Winwood.
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April 29, 2010 on Chelsea Handler Sex Tape Thread Or Animals Eating Birthday Cake Thread
I think that's ok. But if that plane was moving, so help me god, we'd be whining about it already.
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March 26, 2010 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
Wow, this really puts the race for pink slips at the end of Grease in a whole new, terrible light. Shame on you, Danny Zuko. I don't even understand why you'd race for that.
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March 26, 2010 on An Educational Film From The 1960s Teaching Young Girls With Down Syndrome About Their Menstrual Cycles
I love how the drum loop is going on an Animal-from-the-muppets-style freak out in the background of the chorus, like this song is so crazy it actually made the drum machine clinically insane.
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March 25, 2010 on WHO LET THE CLOWNS OUT?
We're not gonna see the episode, he's gonna get it taken down. What did you start, Tom Cruise?
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March 25, 2010 on First They Came For Ginger Kid
So what does everyone think of gifs?
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March 22, 2010 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
It was never solely about certain commenters or certain types of comments, I don't know why the gif thing got played up so much. It was just about how so many comments recently have been crowd pleasing in-jokes, which can be great, as oppose to us all just making our own jokes in the comments section. The list thing only comes in in that, as Carrie said earlier this week, as soon as a joke goes on the injokes list it kind of shows how much we overuse it, instead of just coming up with either interesting discussion or our own jokes. There's no attack on werttrew intended, and I'd stress that just to make sure he doesn't feel like we hate him. He's a valued commenter, I'm pretty sure he's been in monster's ball more than any of us and he frequently does exactly what we'd like to encourage. Staging this whole thing as a so-called "revolution" turned out to be a mistake, just because it now seems more like a petty war than anything else. All we wanted in the beginning wasn't even to go back to the old days, but to move forward into more original comments and a commenter community that was about enjoying each other's company, rather than making it a popularity contest based on who can reference this website the best. You weren't off base, this whole thing is basically our fault, and I do regret this turning into an aggressive condemnation of what is, on the whole, a great commenter community. I just want us all to move past this weird rut we've got into of repeated, slightly modified jokes, gifs which don't add anything to discussion (again, gifs which fit in with what we're commenting on are a great thing, and i've laughed at many of them) and patting ourselves on the back for being a community. But the main thing I'd want to say in reply to you isn't in defence of this weird and, as it turns out, overall terribly managed campaign, but just to say we love werttrew, and the fact that you think of his name when lists and out of context gifs come up is kind of sad, as he's pretty much one of the elite commenters here, and this whole injokes and gifs thing is the very least of his great contributions. Shine on, werttrew, you crazy diamond.
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March 19, 2010 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
I kind of get what you're saying here. I think it's more the fact that to find a funny gif, you have to wade through all the gifs for the sake of gifs. It's an ouroborous file format situation we've got going on. Maybe if gifs are banned from monster's ball, we'll get less "i will post an animated picture for upvotes" and more plain "I will post an appropriate gif for this article which people will enjoy" comments. It's not like not being in monster's ball will make them less funny. But I get what you're saying and don't disagree with you or the way you said it at all. Let's hug.
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March 19, 2010 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
JEEZ, he already got lowest rated comment. Let it go, superfreak.
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March 19, 2010 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
I just thought it was about getting Gabe to stop being so gorgeous, but whatever. #vforveryniceface.
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March 19, 2010 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
Thanks to whichever editor picked the music for the opening of that trailer. "Oh my god, whatever, etc." totally sums up how i feel about it.
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March 19, 2010 on Eat Pray Love Asshole
Holy crap, that cover art is amazing. All compliments to Camille Heron.
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December 24, 2009 on Stereogum & team9 Present… MySplice 4: 2009 Mashed Up
Is there a name-drop gong we have to ring in this situation or something?
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December 15, 2009 on What Is The Catchphrase Of The Decade?
Not calling it Steven Seagal: Legal Eagle was a big mistake.
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December 3, 2009 on Steven Seagal Knows All Of The Police Words!
GUHHHH, too long, my brain hurts. DOWNVOTED. (I kind of agree with you on this one, naps)
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December 3, 2009 on Top Chef S06E13: Please Pack Your New Haircut And Go (To Napa Valley!)
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November 28, 2009 on Being Honest About The Muppets “Bohemian Rhapsody” Thing
Hey, cut it out. Me and my girlfriend are in like.
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November 24, 2009 on That’s Your Girlfriend: Peaches Geldof
I always used to hate Tim Allen's trademark WACKY POSTER FACE. But seeing him look so bored and relaxed in what is clearly a wacky fucking situation, I dunno... I just kinda miss it.
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November 19, 2009 on Tim Allen: Comedian, Actor, Director, Graphic Designer
if any of you reading are in a coffee shop right now, carrie might be upstairs. you are cute and wearing glasses. it's time for a vgum hookup. don't be called wilbur. come to http://www.videogum.com/chat and see if it's you!
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November 16, 2009 on I Don’t Kow Which Of These Two Terrible Trailers Is Worse!