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My Brave Face is my favorite 80s Paul song
Tom is five years older than me, but 1989 is the first time I really started paying attention to the pop charts. I don't remember this song existing, and my parents were regular Top 40 listeners at the time. I remember Michael Damien very well, because my mom watched The Young and The Restless every day while nursing my brother and sister. The wedding of Danny Romalatti and Cricket was a big deal. I think Damian sang a couple times on the show, but It wasn't this. This is a long winded way of saying I love David Essex's original, but this is overcooked, overprocessed garbage. Jessie's Girl it ain't! How did America choose this over Patience? That picture sleeve is something else though. It reminds me of Randy Marsh being recruited for the Ghetto Avenue Street Boys MICHAEL DAMIIEN: Wow, you like my singing that much? SLEAZY PRODUCER: Yeah, your cheekbones are perfect! Michael Damien: 2 David Essex: 9 Patience: 10 David Essex: 9
I've told this story before, but I interviewed Marq Torien in like 2011ish, and he told me with a straight face that BulletBoys were opening for Foo Fighters on their stadium tour. Ram's Head Live in Baltimore holds 1500-2000 people. I've never seen that place so cavernous. There were maybe 40 people there. The tour with the Foos obviously never happened.
This is really sad. Jeff was always really nice to me. Naked Beggars was pretty cool too.
The only thing I would change about Hound Dog is the Jordainares.
When the Impractical Jokers movie came out I shared an elevator with a gentleman who asked if I was going to see it too. He took a day off work so he could experience the magic. My policy of live and let live with popular culture has served me well, but it was really hard to hold my tongue at that moment. I was on my way to see Anna Taylor Joy's remake of Emma. It was cromulent!
Bang Bang is so much better than Naughty Naughty
I almost never hear Forever Your Girl in the wild anymore, so maybe that's why I'm warmer to it than Straight Up, which I have never really liked. A solid, frothy pop song. I agree with fishead that she sounds a lot like Lisa Lisa. Maybe that's why I like it. Forever Your Girl is a 7. Real Love is a 9. Jody Watley always brings it.
Is it blasphemy to say I Go To Extremes might be my favorite William Joel song?
When Slash hits those power chords right before the solo my heart soars.
Both Poison by Bell Biv DeVoe and Poison by Alice Cooper are 10.
I wish the people who make fun of Cherry Pie would give Dog Eat Dog a shot. As a songwriter, Jani Lane was in a class by himself. If he had been able to defeat his demons, I'm sure he would be writing for Adele and Katy Perry today.
Not at all. I don't envy anyone having to live in the shadow of the Boss. I've never heard anyone say a negative word about him, and I like him has a person, but he's one of those guys I wish I could talk to just so we can unpack our feelings. I think he needs to hear what he refers to as his "funny clothes" meant to a kid who didn't have a lot of confidence.
I like Comin' Home better. I've softened on Load/Reload, and a lot of my issues with those records are the same with so many records from the mid to late 90s, they are just too long. I really like Until It Sleeps, King Nothing, Fixxer, and Better Than You.
Absolutely incredible live. Like, holy shit.
A song is coming that is worse than this.
Did I buy OFR after seeing Jim Gillette's hair? OF COURSE ID DID! Did I listen to it more than once> NO!
I wish I could say something that cool. I think mine was to Crazy Town or something like that
I'm shocked they never released Never Say Goodbye as a single.
Born to Be My Baby is definitely my favorite song from New Jersey. An 8.
Heaven is an amazing work of craftsmanship. You can build a house on that chorus.
I really like She Don't Know Me, which I think should have been the hit from the first record, and Never Say Goodbye from Slippery. This is dreck.
It's a weird thing where I have no qualms with him as a human being, but I'm still really upset with him, as you can read in my comment today.
The appeal of hair metal is summarized in one sentence from “Wanted Dead Or Alive.” (a 10) “I’ve seen a million faces and I’ve ROCKED them all.” That’s what most of the pre-Klosterman rock intellegencia never understood. Hair metal lacks the hipness of exclusion. There are no posers. If you bought a record, or a ticket or a t-shirt, you were in the fold. It didn’t matter who you were or where you came from, you belonged. This is the most important lyric in the hair metal canon. I hate that Bon Jovi wrote that lyric. As Tom noted in his write-up for “You Give Love a Bad Name,” (a 9), Jon Bon Jovi saw himself as a Bryan Adams type. Solid pop-rock that could work drinking warm beer on the hood of a Camaro (Summer of ’69, a 9) and a dentist’s office (Heaven, a 7). But those aren’t the records his band made. Bon Jovi toured with KISS, Judas Priest and Ratt, and managed by Doc McGee. Richie Sambora traded in his Clapton influence for harmonic squeals and two-hand tapping. Jon wore purple leather pants, twirled the mic stand like a baton and strutted toward the camera in perfect synchronicity with Richie and Alec John Such. This is all hair metal iconography. 7800 Degrees Fahrenheit is Bon Jovi’s pure hair metal record. Despite the name, it failed to set the world on fire, but they toured with Ratt, which I think is the most pivotal moment in their career. I was three months old when the Ratt Patrol was bringing their party to the sports arenas of the country, but if I was a kid going to that show (which I have fantasized about, because the Invasion of Your Privacy tour was incredible), and I didn’t know who Bon Jovi were, or if I had only heard “Runaway,” I would have gone to Camelot Records the next day and bought the record. The metal community laid the foundation for Bon Jovi to become the biggest band in the world. “I’ll Be There For You” is the beginning of Bon Jovi’s transition to middle of the road AOR Jon was gunning for. Everything about the video is subdued and mid-tempo. Alec John Such’s hair is bigger than Jon’s. You can barely make out the star frets on Richie’s Strat. Jon’s glorious teeth are nowhere to be found, replaced by a Diet Coke Springsteen face. I hate the fake “Paint It Black” sitar in the beginning. I hate Jon’s over emoting. Richie’s solo is a bowl of porridge. Nothing works! It’s like watching a brilliant physical comedian make a drama about heroin addiction. “TAKE US SERIOUSLY. WE’RE NOT THAT THING!” It’s a very dour power ballad in the year the power ballad was reaching its artistic pinnacle. Even with Bon Jovi’s popularity, I will never understand how this made it to the top instead of Warrant’s “Heaven,” (a 10), Cinderella’s “Don’t Know What You Got,” (a 9), LA Guns “The Ballad of Jayne” (a 10), Skid Row’s double whammy of “18 & Life” and “I Remember You” (both 10s), Kix’s “Don’t Close Your Eyes” (a 10) Motley Crue’s “Don’t Go Away Mad” (a 10), Guns n’ Roses’ “Patience” (a 10) and Winger’s “Headed For a Heartbreak (a 10) Bands have to evolve, and it would be ridiculous for Bon Jovi to make 7800 Farenheight or even Slippery again. Bands evolve. Metallica decided they wanted to be Alice in Chains for a few years. During their alternative butt-rock sojourn, James and Lars never said anything like “What? We were never part of The Big Four of Thrash, we were just a rock band.” Right after this, you get the VMA performance that supposedly invented MTV’s Unplugged concept (sure, Jon) and he and Richie told anyone who would listen “We had big hair, but we were never a hair band.” It shouldn’t bother me, but does. This stupid genre means so much to me, and has brought me so much joy, and I’ve made so many friends because of it. I don’t appreciate the leaders of arguably the biggest band of the genre dismissing the people who brought them to the dance. Say what you want about Poison, but they know who they are. If Bon Jovi had been a Bryan Adams-type in 1986, would “Livin’ On A Prayer,” “You Give Love A Bad Name” and “Wanted Dead or Alive” been hits? Absolutely. They are great songs, but the spice of the Sunset Strip is what made them karaoke standards. Hair metal is the reason Jon Bon Jovi was able to sing at President Biden’s inauguration this year. He should embrace it. “I’ll Be There For You” is a 3.
Tom summed up Catholicism beautifully. Luckily there were no creepy priests at the Parishes I grew up attending, but I still carry scars from being forced to go for 17 years. One of the priests (Hi Father Jeff, you fucking prick), stopped speaking to me unless my parents were around because I refused to sign a pro-life petition in my youth group. I got the "gum theory" (which basically says if a girl has sex before she is married she's a used up stick of gum. Fun stuff!), was taught that masturbation was a first class ticket to hell, and I was taught my disability showed that I was in God's special favor. Gee, thanks God. Not to mention the whole fear or queerness. The hangups are still there, in all their glory. As so many people have said, this song is impossible to separate from the video. I can't hear it without seeing Madge giving herself Stigmata and kissing Leon on the altar. The video is a masterpiece. A 10 and one of the best examples of the artform. As a song, I've always wanted to like Like a Prayer more than I do. It's impeccably crafted and has hooks on top of hooks, but for whatever reason, it never clicked for me like the early Madonna singles did. Like A Prayer is a great song, but there are 10 other Madonna songs I will put on first, including her next #1. Like A Prayer is a 7. The Shep Pettibone/Junior Vasquez remix is an 8. Express Yourself is a 9. Cherish is a 7.
The Headless Children blew me away when I first heard it. The first three records were good but uneven. Headless Children is epic and sounds huge and I love it. Frankie Banali is one of the most underrated drummers of the genre.
Accidental downvote. But Doolittle is one of those albums that never gets old for me, and it's a crime that Here Comes Your Man didn't break through.
She Drives Me Crazy was my second favorite song. Like Tom, I was obsessed with the video, especially Steel and Cox's (haha), pink guitars. I'd never seen a pink guitar. Oh to be five again! The Judge made me a mixtape of nothing but She Drives Me Crazy and I played it to death on my Fisher Price tape recorder. The song became a running joke in our family, because I would literally drop everything if I heard that programmed drum beat and start playing air guitar, which The Judge had just taught me how to do. It's interesting how both of my first favorite songs (I Got My Mind Set On You was my first) both begin with prominent drum beats. I'd never thought of that before. Falsetto is artistic choice that either works or fails, and in this case it works like gangbusters. I can't imagine the song without it. Roland Gift sings the hell out of it, and his charisma permeates the entire track. It should be illegal to be that handsome. She Drives Me Crazy is an absolute banger. 10 out of 10.
Mix 106.5 played this song every fifteen minutes for a couple of months, and I never got sick of it, unlike some of the other songs from that summer. Sigh, One Sweet Day.
It says something about how awesome Roxette are that The Look is my least favorite of their #1s, and it's still an absolute unabashed 10. Marie Fredrikkson's ice blonde pixie cut/leather jacket combo was....formative for Young John.
Goddamn it, I'd completely forgotten Long Haired Lover From Liverpool is....I guess it's a song? Sorta?
The White Stripes played a tiny club called The Recher Theatre about three weeks before Fell In Love With a Girl broke. The Recher is 15 minutes from my parents house and a block from my current apartment building. I was 16, I'd never heard of The White Stripes. I liked Skid Row. I was at the Recher buying tickets and could have bought tickets to see Jack and Meg. I decided to see Stryper instead. I clearly had my pulse on things. It's one of my few concert regrets. Also, I feel ancient.
6 8 10 10 Heartbeat is a Lovebeat is my favorite bubblegum song of that era.
Eternal Flame is a 10. Eternal Flame's inclusion in my favorite Zach Galifinakis bit bumps it up to 11. It starts at 15:38 You have to login or start a 24 hour pass, but it's worth it. https://www.cc.com/episodes/mocija/comedy-central-presents-zach-galifianakis-season-5-ep-12 (This special is 20 years old. *runs hands through thinning hair) Girl You Know It's True is a 9. A perfect slice of trashy Europop no matter who is singing it. People ask me all the time "John, what would you do if you had legs that weren't just decoration, expecting me to say something inspirational like "Climb Mt. Everest to raise awareness!" But no, I'd do the kickass running jumping high five thing that Rob and Fab do in the video. This is why I never got asked to speak at Pinewood Elementary School again. Easily the best Milli Vanilli song and I always assumed it went to #1. Too Little Too Late is a 9. JoJo should have been a bigger star. I Touch Myself is a 10.
And I'm disabled, so that makes it inspirational too.
2009 Justin Bieber looks like Tom Jones compared to Joey McIntire in the Please Don't Go Girl video.