Sky Ferreira @ Vanity Fair Oscar Party

People talk a lot of shit about Sky Ferreira online. If you want examples, you won’t have to look far; just check the comments on our posts about when she revealed her topless Night Time, My Time cover art or when she was arrested for drugs. And if some of those comments were questionable, it’s no surprise that other people online have been harassing or straight-up abusing Ferreira; it is, after all, the way of the internet. And in a new post on her Facebook page, Ferreira makes a plain and direct statement about the sort of nonsense she should not have to deal with. Read it below.

I’m exhausted of (more than some) people telling me how I should look or be if I want to be a “pop star” & how they think it’s okay to say vile & (sexually) abusive shit to me on a daily basis over the internet. I’m not only writing about myself…because almost every person has to deal with this. It’s a shame because I now feel like I can’t connect or directly speak with true fans. I’m not a mess,I’m not a drug addict, I’m not a slut or a bitch. I recently blocked someone because they were constantly harassing me & making fun of sexual abuse that happened in my past…Which I’ve publicly spoken about to hopefully help others. They came to one of my shows & my friend confronted the person.We were accused of being homophobic after. Which is absolutely insane because my friends,my family & a majority of my fans are homosexual. Sexuality,gender,race,& age are irrelevant to me. As it should be for everyone by now. Treating people like shit because you feel like shit doesn’t help anyone. If you see hateful/disgusting/abusive comments,please start reporting it or deleting it. I think that’s the only way we can start to lower that sort of thing from happening. Use the internet as a way to connect with others & LEARN. Show & spread compassion. <33333

PS: Sorry for the typos

(via Ferreira’s Facebook)

Real talk.

Comments (29)
  1. Why even waste your breath? No one’s forcing you to read these comments from anonymous internet trolls. There are better things to worry about, no?

    • You couldn’t be more wrong if you tried. It’s actually beautiful in a weird dark way. A perfect 180º from correct. Should have sent a poet.

      • How am I wrong? I just don’t see why she should worry herself over what anonymous people have to say about her over the internet. Who gives a shit? She’s already won by releasing a full-length album and accruing loving fans. By writing messages like this, it only proves to the trolls that they’re actually getting to her and they’ll therefore continue. I mean, shit, she’s not the first female (or male) public figure to be talked about on the internet. I’m not saying this kind of talk or trolling is okay (it’s certainly not!), but nothing’s going to change (it’s like telling water to stop being wet), so why waste your breath?

        • That’s a terrible attitude

        • I guess wrong is a bad choice of words because it’s subjective but it’s a really shitty attitude. Something is gross and hateful and when someone is actively trying to speak out against such negativity your response is to just “deal with it”. It’s really pathetic and sad. Why should anyone have to deal with it. Just because she can point to some other positive thing in her life she should suffer pointlessly because people are disgusting? Just because that’s how it is doesn’t mean thats how it has to be. Women get it a lot worse than dudes. I have been in many bands of varying degrees of popularity. I’ve gotten a few “you suck kill yourself” emails when I, as a dude, fronted a band but now I am in a band with female lead singer and the messages we get on facebook and things posted in comments on blogs are a lot grosser. It’s just super lame to say people should just deal with negativity and to scoff at someone speaking out against it.

          • My argument isn’t “Deal with it”, it’s “ignore it, you shouldn’t worry yourself about these things. Keep making that sweet sweet music and be happy. Internet trolls and hateful comments can only bring you down.” That’s all.

          • I don’t see a big distinction between the two. “Ignore it” is just as shitty. Of course “Internet trolls and hateful comments can only bring you down” but that isn’t the issue at all. It’s insane to just accept that people are going to make comments about sexually abusing and raping you every day and you should ignore it. I don’t believe for a second you could ignore it if you got messages like that daily on social networks that you essentially have to use to interact with fans and promote your art.

  2. Good for her and I think it goes a bit further than just online misogyny — It goes to respect for one another in general. Generally, we’re all a bunch of dicks to each other because some people use the excuse “It’s just the Internet” to justify saying horrible things they think disappear and absolve us wrongdoing once you X out the tab, and it usually spins out of control. It’s also over really stupid things. For music, sign up for Twitter and find yourself surrounded by full-on war of words between two people disagreeing about the quality of a band’s music, trends, review scores. It’s like we look for reasons to get mad, and in most instances it’s directed at people we don’t even know in real life. It’s really unhealthy on both ends, be it the recipient or the one slinging the shit, and I’ll be the first to admit from first hand experience. Even when people are simply tweeting or Status Updating, it’s useless white noise anyway that has no value to whoever is reading.

    tl;dr: Just because you have an Internet soapbox, doesn’t mean you need to use it, but if you do, take some accountability for your actions.

    • I think the internet is fascinating because it pulls back this social barrier and exposes how personally everyone takes everything. I mean, people are ready to strangle each other over CELL PHONES. You’ve got enough people walking around with raw nerves, they’re going to want a safe space to bite someone’s neck. I also don’t get the “it’s just the internet” excuse. The internet is the guy sitting next to me on the subway who just posted to a gawker thread telling someone to go hang themselves. It’s exhausting and scary.

      • The internet is not an accurate representation of true human interaction.

        • It’s an accurate representation of human interaction because it is human interaction. It’s humans interacting.

          • its humans interacting by proxy

          • which is an important distinction, i think

          • vandertramps, I have to disagree. There’s no proxy, as in, there’s no third party speaking on either of our behalfs. You typed in words with the expectation or motivation that I would see them. The medium is of course different than in meat-space, but I would say there are more proxies there than here. This is a space of zero consequence, where the only thing guiding our interactions is our respective motives with no social, economic or political influence to filter or affect our tones or ideas. Which is why it’s so terrifying when millions of people are ready to spew bile at the drop of a hat, because it suggests consequence, whether internal or external, is the only thing keeping that at bay in the street.

        • if anything, it’s a purer, more sincere form of human interaction, because it reveals what people really think and would like to say, unfettered by social mores or the need to weigh your words in fear of undesired consequences, like a fist to the face.

          it’s just a pity that deep down, so many people are insufferable pricks.

    • pot calls kettle black.

      • Ignore that, statement redacted. underscore is always accountable.

        • Well, no offense, but your reaction to my comment above is a bit like the attitude that makes the Internet such an ugly meeting spot. Social behavior isn’t necessarily a black or white matter — Sometimes people react in such a bad way because they’ve concluded that the public forum is a wasteland devoid of standards. In a way, we’re ruining each other and cultivating a culture where the best practices are actually worst practices of one-upmanship and looking for every chance we get to find fault in what some stranger is saying or continue pouncing on them once you’ve struck a nerve.

          It isn’t always a case of one person just innocently minding their business and then some other person comes along, tears them apart. It’s a lot of things. It can surely be the case where someone is a real life asshole and is in the business of spreading their rude thoughts to upset the rhythm, but if you look at cases of cyberbullying, you’ll sometimes find that the kid who bared the brunt of the attacks at some point retaliated in just the same way. Or in my case and what everyone seems to assume about my persona here in the past, it’s a case of two sparring parties never having butted heads before, but one person had a really bad experience in the past that forever made them incredibly defensive from there on out.

          Don’t take my response here as an invitation to heatedly debate or as a personal diss. My recognition that there’s a problem with the way we / I are conditioned to carry ourselves / myself should be looked at as progress rather than hypocrisy.

  3. I think a major problem we overlook is that the internet is a place where 13 year olds are given the same voice as adults. I’m not saying they shouldn’t be accountable. Nor am I claiming that they’re all 13 year old dumb-asses. I’m just saying that they are,probably, largely 13 year old dumb-asses and we are tempted to think these comments are coming from mature adults. Sky Ferreira’s comments are all valid, I think it’s just important we remember that we’re not always dealing with people on an equal mental playing field.

  4. how you gon know you made typos and then not go fix them? trife.

    • I think it should be common practice for people to apologize for typos at the end of everything they post to the internet. Except me, I’m perfect.

  5. The real problem is the lack of deterrence for verbally abusing someone online. If any of this stuff was said face-to-face it would most likely lead to legal proceedings so I don’t know why cyper-abuse should be treated any difference. The funny/worrying thing is that most of these ‘trolls’ are teenagers (many 12-15), so getting their IP addresses and getting a message from the authorities with a warning would be enough to scare them a little.

  6. The general lack of accountability online is a big issue. One reason I choose to use my facebook account to comment on here (apart from general laziness) is to ensure I will never say anything on here I wouldn’t say in person. If everyone online had to attribute their comments to a picture of them and a link to details about their life they might think twice about some of the things they say.

    • In your case, because you are an articulate, rational person, it works, but just look at last week’s worst comment on Stereogum. It was from your average mom-ish type facebook user, and not that her comment was vile in the way most trollish comments are, but it read like a really ignorant rant that made her look pretty foolish. If some 50-something-year-old adult feels she can freely put her full name behind that publicly, the general population isn’t going to do any better. I think people are actually getting more comfortable with making their virtual footprints larger, assuming that it’s just the norm to have a public Twitter account with your full name, posting comments on a public forum using your facebook account, public Instagramming and so on. The reason I don’t use my facebook account here nor do I identify my full name elsewhere is because what I think is even more dangerous is that in the wrong hands, your identity can take a hit for the worse.

  7. online? even if there was no internet, she’d be running into the same battle. just ask madonna.

  8. The price of living in a small world is all of the psychotic losers are a lot closer to you.

    I use the word “psychotic” loosely there, obviously, but the fact of the matter is there is no reasoning with a lot of the people who say hateful, ignorant things on the internet. They aren’t there to learn, they’re there to vent and try to feel big by tearing someone else down. There is the occasional ill-advised post by someone trying to be funny or who is misinformed that would be willing to appreciate their mistake. But the internet is such an unforgiving place that when someone does misstep like that, instead of trying to intelligently explain it to them, everyone jumps at the chance to feel self righteous and spews at some hateful ignorant put down in response.

    I can think of countless examples from Stereogum alone.

    Like that big computer said to Dr. Falken, the only way to win is not to play. Like any would-be bully, don’t engage them and they’re powerless. Unfortunately, that tactic won’t always work for someone of Sky’s stature, so I get the frustration. But, ultimately, this is a part of the world we live in now. The internet gives everyone a loud speaker, even to those no one wants to hear.

    • Nice War Games reference. I’m not even being sarcastic; that movie is real shit.

    • It’s important to mention one huge thing that is absent when making negative comments on the Internet: The loss of facial expression and vocal tone to convey the true emotion behind the words. When you write something, it remains permanent as well, so it allows people to dwell on it longer and fester their outcry over it. Aside from misogynistic / homophobic / racist / sexist / whatever disgusting remarks, a lot of comments that get labeled as “trollish” on message boards or tweets wouldn’t even phase anyone if they came about in regular conversation in the company of friends / real life.

      Ex. Someone says “Ugh, I hate Radiohead. They’re boring and put me to sleep.” here and it’s -35 downvotes and six replies about how that person is an expletive this and a moron that. Over a cup of coffee at a table of four, the response could be quiet chuckles thanks to your grin and calm demeanor upon stating those same words, especially in the context of the location.

      Not playing is a good solution. Not talking to one another altogether would suffice as well, but I think we all feel like we’re missing out on something these days if we aren’t connected to some degree over wifi signals.

  9. I’m a dude and i get hit with misogyny all the time. Must really suck if you are a woman.

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