Christ Bearer

A few weeks ago we heard the bizarre news that the vaguely Wu-Tang affiliated rapper (and half of the LA duo Northstar) Andre “Christ Bearer” Johnson was in critical condition after cutting off his penis and throwing himself out of a window. Adding insult to injury, Wu-Tang quickly distanced themselves from the rapper. Now Johnson has spoken to TMZ and explained his actions:

He says he was feeling super alone … unable to see his two daughters because of restraining orders and a third child on the way. C.B. tells us he started to smoke weed and read a book about monks and vasectomies. C.B. says it felt like his world was collapsing, and with the thoughts of kids and vasectomies in his head … he decided to take matters into his own hands. Clearly, it did not turn out well.

His member has been reattached and is fully functional. He also tells TMZ, “I am the fucking Wu-Tang.”

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Comments (11)
  1. That’s nothing. Once, my cousin injected 5 marijuanas and got the gay. Marijuanas: not even once.

  2. “Wu-Tang affiliate Explains Why He Cut Off His Penis” Yeah, because I’m sure there is a totally logical explanation.

  3. “His member has been reattached and is fully functional.” Hurray for the medical advances of the future. OWWWOOOOOOOO!

  4. “I am the fucking Wu-Tang” is the new YOLO.

  5. We have a winner in the “Most Stoned EVER” contest

  6. i’m guessing he isn’t “fucking” anything anytime soon.

  7. Monks man, fuck.

  8. “One time I took the marijuaners and ate a whole ‘Wu-Tang Forever’ – both discs! I had wu-arrhea for three days and then cut off my ear, sent it to an ex-gf. Now I sip Cristal when I’m thirstay.” – The Notorious Vincent Van G.

  9. Are we sure he is affiliated with the Wu-Tang Clan and not The Dismemberment Plan (or perhaps King Missle)?

  10. He should start a new hiphop collective called No-Wang Clan. They’re nothin to fuck wit literally.

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