Last night, ’90s ska-pop warrior Smash Mouth played Taste Of Fort Collins, a food festival in Fort Collins, Colorado. At the festival, some vendors were giving away free loaves of bread, which meant that there were a lot of drunk people in the crowd armed with bread, as NBC reports. During Smash Mouth’s set, some of those drunk people were throwing pieces of bread in the air, and some of those pieces of bread landed onstage. This caused Smash Mouth frontman Steve Harwell to freak the fuck out, going off on the crowd for three minutes straight and threatening to go out in the crowd and beat people up. A security guard had to hold Harwell back, and he left stage before the encore. All this happened, amazingly, while the rest of the band was attempting to play “All Star,” which only makes the whole thing more glorious. Below, watch a fan-made video of the freakout and read the complete text of Harwell’s beautiful meltdown.
You throw one more piece of shit on fuckin’ stage, I’m gonna come find your ass, I’m gonna beat your ass, whoever the fuck you are out there. You wanna be a badass? Come up here. Come on. Come be a badass up here. Come on! Come onstage! Come onstage, badass! Come on! Come onstage! You bring your ass onstage, whoever’s throwing shit at me! I’ma tell you right now, I will beat the fuck out of you. OK? You’re a pussy punk bitch. OK? You’re ruining the show for thousands of people right now. Because I’m going to walk offstage, and guess what? You’re paying for it, motherfucker. OK? Come on, somebody throw one more thing at me right now! I’m gonna find you. [Security restrains him.] If you’re a man and you throw something at me right now, I’m gonna walk out there, and I’m gonna beat the fucking shit out of you. You little pussy bitches. Little pussy bitches.
It’s a good thing that security guard was there. Otherwise, the entire population might be dead at the hands of a berserker-raging Smash Mouth singer.