In case you don’t have an encyclopedic knowledge of Very Important Music Beefs, let’s first set the stage. Last year, after the Black Keys won four Grammys for El Camino, a TMZ reporter asked drummer Patrick Carney if he was upset that fellow indie musician Justin Bieber wasn’t up for any awards. Spoketh Carney: “He’s rich, right? I mean, I don’t know. Grammys are, like, for music, not for money, and he’s making a lot of money. I don’t know — he should be happy, I guess.” Thus began the Great Black Keys-Belieber War Of 2013: the next day, Bieber tweeted “the black keys drummer should be slapped around haha” and of course it only escalated from there. As Beliebers retaliated with some mean words, Carney fired back by changing his Twitter name to Justin Bieber and promising a “new world premiere” of a Bieber song. And as with most things on Twitter, all was quickly forgotten and time moved on.
But, alas, war is never truly over. In an interview in this month’s Rolling Stone, Carney fans the flames once again: “Justin Bieber, like a fucking irresponsible asshole, sicced 40 million Twitter followers on me because I paid him a compliment he didn’t understand,” Carney said. “I’m saying that he should be grateful that he has a fucking career in music. And he shouldn’t be fucking telling his followers to slap me, and then also be doing anti-bullying bullshit. It’s so irresponsible. I just started getting called a faggot, you know? All these kids who don’t know what they’re saying are saying all of these things that are actually wildly inappropriate. And these kids are just dumbasses.”
To prove that he is better than all these young “dumbasses,” Carney continues: “I mean, Justin Bieber is a fucking moron. And that’s the gist of what I was saying. And then he goes and says I should be slapped? Honestly, I feel bad for him. Every single person who works with him should fucking be embarrassed that they don’t … No one is doing him any favors, you know? And honestly, I don’t dislike his music. I don’t listen to his music, but he needs to not conduct himself that way. Like, really, you make millions of dollars playing music, you should feel fucking lucky.”
“If you’re a 34-year-old fucking loser like me, and you go on Justin Bieber’s Twitter account like a total pervert every time that he gets in trouble, you should look at his tweets the next day. It’s always like, ‘I love you guys so much, always believe, never stop believing.’ He’s feeding them the Kool-Aid more and more,” he says. “He pours it on heavy, though. It’s so manipulative! And whoever taught him that that was OK, whoever’s watching him and is like ‘that manipulation is acceptable,’ should be really ashamed of themselves.”
In other news, the Black Keys have a new album coming out next week, which almost certainly has nothing to do with dredging this up again.
[Photo of Carney by Kevork Djansezian/Getty.]