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R.I.P. Ed Hardy Clothing Brand, Murdered By Jon Gosselin

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through ironic clothing revivals, we commend to the garbage our brother the Ed Hardy brand of clothing; and we commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, Jon Gosselin tattoo t-shirt to Jon Gosselin tattoo t-shirt. The Lord bless the Ed Hardy brand of clothing and keep him at Macy’s, the Lord make his face to shine upon him and inspire new t-shirts, maybe with the Lord’s face riding a tiger made of skulls and crossbones, just please don’t tell Jon Gosselin about it. He’s done enough. Amen. From the New York Post:

Perhaps it was Jon Gosselin, the reviled reality TV dad of eight, who first turned us against Ed Hardy. In 2009, when photos of him frolicking on a yacht in Cannes wearing an array of T-shirts with Hardy’s signature tattoo art appeared on blogs everywhere, any credibility the ink-stained legend had went out the window.

It didn’t matter that Madonna and Adrien Brody also wore clothes with his art. Gosselin was the uncoolest person on the planet, and now he was synonymous with Ed Hardy.

“That Jon Gosselin thing was the nail in the coffin,” says the actual Ed Hardy. “That’s what tanked it. Macy’s used to have a huge window display with Ed Hardy, and it filtered down and that’s why Macy’s dropped the brand.”

Awww. I sincerely hope that Jon Gosselin does not get word of this. I don’t know a whole lot about his life (aside from this moment, which I will never forget), maybe he DESERVES to have Ed Hardy betray him, who knows, but I have to imagine that his life isn’t going the way he always imagined it, and then to have his #1 favorite clothing brand blame its demise on his appreciation?!? “FINISH HIM!” – Mortal Kombat about this moment in Jon Gosselin’s life, I bet. Stay strong, friend. We’ll keep you in our thoughts and prayers.