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BREAKING FART NEWS: 11-Year-Old Gets Detention For Farting

Give it up to the Internet this week, you guys, for really staying true to itself. A brand new trampoline accident AND fart news within 24 hours of each other? PINCH ME, I MUST BE WEBSURFING. (Up next: barf news!) Anyway, after the jump, a local news report about an 11-year-old boy, Christian Summers, who was sentenced to detention jail after “passing gas” on the school bus. This is why our detention system is overcrowded! Needless to say, it is VERY hilarious to listen to the “journalist” describe how Christian must now fart quietly lest he get in any more trouble. She probably stands by the mailbox everyday wondering if it doesn’t make sense for the Pulitzer Committee to just email award winners their prize notifications at this point, because the stress is really getting to her, but at least she’s safe in the knowledge that this is her year.

ALL THE FART NEWS THAT’S FIT TO FART! (Via BuzzFeed.)