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Friday Fight: What Movies Should Everyone See Before Gabe Kills Them?

gabe: what is on your list of 100 movies to see before you die?
gabe: give me 100 movies, now
gabe: you have 30 seconds
gabe: and then i will make fun of your list
gabe: GO
lindsay: Slumdog Millionaire
lindsay: (to annoy you but also because yes)
gabe: sorry, let me clarify
lindsay: It’s a Wonderful Life
gabe: these are movies you should see before you die because they’re good
gabe: not to see before you die because you killed yourself because you saw them
gabe: continue
lindsay: um
lindsay: The Princess Bride
lindsay: (duh)
lindsay: The Jerk
lindsay: (duh)

gabe: Hard Eight
gabe: making fun of you for liking Hard Eight is funny to me
gabe: “God, Lindsay won’t shut up about Hard Eight”
gabe: “Enough already, Lindsay, we get it, you love Hard Eight”
lindsay: I’ve seen Hard Eight.
lindsay: all I remember about it is it’s two fours.
lindsay: and has gwyneth.
lindsay: the end.
gabe: The Princess Bride and The Jerk are great movies
gabe: but
gabe: your list makes me sad
gabe: because it suggests that this is the 100 movies to see
gabe: before you die
gabe: on your 15th birthday
lindsay: well, there are no movies to see before you die
lindsay: if you’re going to die, the last thing you should do is see movies
lindsay: the entire premise of the list is dumb
lindsay: but anyway, The Bucket List
lindsay: (I’m sure everyone has made that joke)
gabe: my list is basically
gabe: The Lake House
gabe: Speed 2
gabe: Romi and Michelle’s High School Reunion
gabe: and Boat Trip
lindsay: Oh, we’re joking here?
lindsay: because I can get random
lindsay: I understand randomness
lindsay: If Lucy Fell
gabe: hahahahha
lindsay: ‘Til There Was You
gabe: Oh, I thought you were done
gabe: I thought your idea of “getting random”
gabe: was dropping an If Lucy Fell reference
lindsay: Boys On The Side
lindsay: Steel Magnolias
lindsay: But for real
lindsay: what real movies would be on your list?
lindsay: give us a peek behind the mask.
gabe: You Can Count on Me
gabe: On The Waterfront
gabe: Gummo
lindsay: On the waterfront, puleeze
lindsay: haven’t seen it
gabe: that is a great movie
lindsay: but like, what a cliche
gabe: oh, i didn’t explain how my list works, though
gabe: it’s 100 movies, and then i kill you
lindsay: that’s like me saying Annie Hall
lindsay: haha
gabe: so, you’ll like it
lindsay: Grizzly Man
gabe: you’ll want to slow it down
gabe: “please let me watch on the waterfront again”
gabe: East of Eden

lindsay: ugh
gabe: yup
gabe: YOU WANT THE REAL ME, HERE I AM!
lindsay: dancer in the dark?
gabe: what?
gabe: is your question “Is Dancer in the Dark are terrible movie?”
gabe: because then yes
lindsay: just trying to think of terrible boring movies
gabe: have you seen East of Eden?
lindsay: not that east of eden is
lindsay: bad example
gabe: haha, well it’s not so much a bad example
gabe: as not an example
gabe: because you haven’t seen it
lindsay: Tootsie
lindsay: Diner
gabe: i have not seen either of those
lindsay: Broadcast News
gabe: oh wait
gabe: i’ve seen tootsie
lindsay: no way!!
lindsay: omg
lindsay: Tootsie is the best!
lindsay: it’s not what you think
lindsay: I only saw it two years ago
gabe: you have no idea what i think it is
lindsay: yes I do
lindsay: I was reluctant
gabe: my understanding is that Hostel 2 is a remake of Tootsie
gabe: like same camera angles and everything
gabe: rebuilt the original sets exactly
gabe: using the original blueprints
gabe: that is what i think
lindsay: Terms Of Endearment
lindsay: Vanilla Sky
gabe: wait, for real?
gabe: Vanilla Sky is on your list?
gabe: Whoops, that’s your list
lindsay: how else will people learn that when they have sex with someone their body makes a promise whether they do or not (CRRRASH!)
lindsay: no, not vanilla sky
lindsay: I’ve just been waiting ten years to reference that line.
gabe: you should get a blog
lindsay: I really should
gabe: you should get a blog where your’e allowed to reference whatever you want
gabe: lindsay, if you shoot for the stars you might just land on the moon
gabe: the moon of making vanilla sky references
lindsay: I would say Eternal Sunshine
gabe: but you’re embarrassed?
gabe: i understand
lindsay: but if you’re about to die you don’t need to be more sad about how love dies.
lindsay: no, it’s the best movie. but I’m not sure if the lessons are needed, as one’s life is already flashing before one’s eyes.
lindsay: probably
lindsay: Grizzly Man

gabe: you already said that
lindsay: “at least you won’t get eaten by a mean old nasty old stranger-bear!”
gabe: you already said grizzly man
lindsay: well I’m saying it again.
gabe: Ong Bak
gabe: that is the last movie you watch before I kill you
gabe: using some of the moves from the movie
gabe: it’s fun
lindsay: oops, English please.
gabe: there is no English translation, you racist
gabe: it’s just called Ong Bak
gabe: i think it means The Best in English
lindsay: The Great Escape
lindsay: I love that fucking movie
lindsay: and it has no girls in it!
lindsay: first movie I ever liked with no girls
lindsay: 3 hours, no girls
gabe: Dr. Strangelove
gabe: Leprechaun 3
lindsay: I’m looking at the movies I own
lindsay: The Edge
gabe: i know, me too
gabe: which is a bad idea
gabe: i own terrible movies
lindsay: What About Bob
lindsay: American Beauty
gabe: ugh
gabe: UGH
lindsay: Saw.
lindsay: (but that was just for double dog)
lindsay: Dead Poets Society
lindsay: When Harry Met Sally
gabe: stop
gabe: stop making your list
lindsay: these lists are dumb
gabe: yeah
gabe: these lists should be called
gabe: One Way To Embarrass Yourself Before You Die
lindsay: Well I guess I could be all pretentious
lindsay: and be like “Harold and Maude”

lindsay: which is a great movie
gabe: hahahahah, the fact that you think Harold and Maude is pretentious
gabe: is adorable
lindsay: but I prefer to be honest and have a personality
gabe: ah
gabe: there it is
gabe: now that is what is pretentious
gabe: saying that
lindsay: I think a better list
lindsay: would be what 10 movies would you show a 15 year old home schooled kid who is infinitely curious and will watch anything you show him or her and forever imbue it with extreme importance and learn about life from it.
lindsay: what would you show someone who hasn’t seen anything?
lindsay: A good list of movies prepares you for life, not death.
lindsay: (have fun w/ that)
gabe: Jesus.
lindsay: yes
lindsay: sorry
gabe: if i had to make a list of the 10 movies for someone who didn’t know anything
gabe: they would all be instructional videos
gabe: on carpentry and electricity
gabe: if you don’t know anything
gabe: i’m not wasting your time with Gray Gardens
lindsay: HAHAHA.
lindsay: I would show them The Jerk
gabe: you would show them the jerk?
lindsay: I would show them The Jerk 10 times and send them on their way
lindsay: good luck out there!