Sinead O’Connor says she’s suicidal and living in a New Jersey Travelodge motel in a 12-minute video posted on her Facebook account Thursday. The singer broke into tears throughout the video while expressing that she posted the video to let people know what it’s like living with mental illness.
“I’m now living in a Travelodge hotel in the arse end of New Jersey. I’m all by myself and there’s absolutely nobody in my life except my doctor, my psychiatrist, the sweetest man on Earth who says I’m his hero,” said O’Connor. “That’s about the only thing keeping me alive at the moment. The fact that I’m his bloody hero. And that’s kind of pathetic.”
“Mental illness is a bit like drugs. It doesn’t give a shit who you are,” she added. “Equally you know what’s worse is the stigma who doesn’t give a shit who you are. All the people who are supposed to be loving you and taking care of you are treating you like shit.”
O’Connor has been very vocal about her mental health issues in the past. She canceled her 2015 summer tour citing “exhaustion due to an existing not resolved medical situation.” After failing to return home from a bike ride in May 2016, she was reported missing, only to be found in a hotel by Chicago suburban police. She also publicly cut ties with her family in Nov. 2015 after she shared news that she had suffered an overdose in a Dublin hotel room.
O’Connor sent her kids a message in the video asking them if it’s fair for her to be living in a motel. She also said she has been dealing with a kidney stone.
A day after posting the video, O’Connor posted the address of the Travelodge she says she is staying at in South Hackensack, New Jersey.
“I’m fighting like all the millions I know to stay alive everyday which I’m doing because I love the people that are doing this to me,” said O’Connor in the video. “I’m not staying alive for me. If it was me I’d be gone straight away back to my mom because I walked this Earth alone for two years as punishment for being mentally fucking ill and being angry that nobody would fucking take care of me, specifically for being suicidal.”
This article originally appeared on The Hollywood Reporter.