For too long, the people of this planet have had to deal with the nightmare of people who bring pineapples to music festivals. Well, it won’t last. It can’t last. And now the organizers of the UK’s Reading and Leeds Festivals have finally taken the important first step. They have banned the ungodly fruit from this year’s festival.
The Telegraph reports that pineapples are on the list of banned items for this year’s festival, alongside weapons, drones, and fireworks. Apparently the problem is fans of the band Glass Animals, whose song “Pork Soda” includes a line about “pineapples in my head.” Apparently, when they sing this, some miscreants like to wave pineapples. Not anymore, punks! No pineapples for you!
In related news, I once saw a kid get a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos confiscated when he was on the way into a Danny Brown show.