In a candid new interview with The Guardian, Lily Allen said she was assaulted by an unnamed record executive at a party in Los Angeles.
Allen addresses the incident in her forthcoming memoir, My Thoughts Exactly, which will be released 9/20 in the U.K. and 12/20 in the United States. The singer told The Guardian she wanted to name the man who assaulted her in the book, but ultimately her publisher advised against doing so for legal reasons.
After getting “smashed” at the party, Allen says the man let her into his hotel room to sleep it off, but then, “I woke up at 5 a.m. because I could feel someone next to me pressing their naked body against my back. I was naked, too… I moved away as quickly as possible and jumped out of the bed, full of alarm… I found my clothes quickly… and ran out of his room and into my own.”
Allen said she continued working with the man after the assault because he had more power than she did and she feared being labeled “a difficult woman.” “If things went down, I told myself, he’d win,” she said. Upon returning to London, the singer sought legal counsel and signed an affidavit, as she “wanted it on record that I’d been sexually abused by someone I worked with.”
Later, she turned down a BBC Radio 1 performance because she knew one of the executive’s other artists would be there and did not want to run into him. As a result, Allen believes, she was “punished by Radio 1, with no airplay for my next single, ‘Trigger Bang’ — I just couldn’t tell them why I couldn’t take the slot.”
Read the complete interview here.
This article originally appeared on Billboard.