Meat Loaf Finally Breaks His Legendary Silence On Greta Thunberg: “She’s Been Brainwashed”

It’s 2020, and for some reason the Daily Mail is interviewing Meat Loaf. (The actual reason is that he’s in a commercial for the UK-based Italian-American chain Frankie & Benny’s new vegan menu for January, but come on.) Meat Loaf says a lot of things in this interview. Mostly, he talks about back pain and claims to be a “sex god.” It’s already a lot, and then he gets to climate change activist Greta Thunberg.

As you might be aware, Greta Thunberg is a teenager (today is her 17th birthday, in fact) who is very concerned about the future of the human race as we boil ourselves to death. She was named TIME’s Person Of The Year in 2019 thanks to her work. And, as you might be aware, anytime a young person speaks about the very obvious, very dire threat to our planet, it seems to bother men in their 70s who are too close to their own death to care or are so warped they just want to see the world burn anyway. She has already, unsurprisingly, driven our fragile president nuts at various points, and apparently now Meat Loaf has decided to wade into this and more or less align himself with his old Celebrity Apprentice pal.

“I feel for that Greta,” he told the Mail. “She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn’t. She hasn’t done anything wrong but she’s been forced into thinking that what she is saying is true.”

So there you have it. It’s 2020 and WWIII is trending on Twitter and we’ve got an old cartoon of a classic rock artist trying to promote an Italian-American food chain and complaining about a teenage activist and denying climate science. It’s shaping up to be a great decade!

UPDATE: Thunberg responds…