High Fidelity: The Musical!

If you?ve ever wished the electric, Jack Black-and-Cusack exchanges of High Fidelity were set to a melody (or performed as a medley), then we?ve got some good news for ya: they?re taking that shit to Broadway! (And yes, we know it was a Nick Hornby novel before it was a movie, but who reads anymore?)

Will Chase, last seen playing Lennon in Lennon (which we heard was pretty awful, save his performance) takes the lead as Rob, the prototypical record clerk cock and unlucky in love, lovable loser. New York Mag recently sat with Chase, dubbing his a “star turn” and probing his indie accumen:

NY Mag: What music do you like?
Will Chase: I?ve seen Rush, like, seven times.

NY Mag: No indie cred, then.
WC: No indie cred. Correct.

NY Mag: Have you studied the clerks at Other Music?
WC: You mean, what other music do I like?

NY Mag: No, I meant Other Music, the store.
WC: Oh, other music stores?

NY Mag: Never mind.

Guess he’s still in training.

In honor of High Fidelity?s memorializing, demoralized protaganist, here are our Top 5 quotes from the flick:

5. Barry (aka Jack Black): We’re no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We’re on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive but, just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five.

4. Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that?
Dick (aka Todd Louiso): It’s the new Belle and Sebastian…
Rob (aka John Cusack): It’s a record we’ve been listening to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that’s unfortunate, because it sucks ass.

3. Customer: Do you have Soul?
Rob: That all depends.

2. Rob: Get your patchouli stink outta my store.

1. Barry: Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the ’80s and ’90s. Go. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?

Burn out! No, wait — fade away. Right?

Sub-sub-question: are obnoxious record store clerks not a ’90s phenomenon? We can’t remember the last time we encountered an indie snob behind the counter. Then again, we don’t visit many record stores these days.

UPDATE: Listen to terrible songs from the musical.