Last night Bruce Springsteen inducted U2 into the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall Of Fame. I know most of you don’t care (because they’re old), but the Boss always gives funny, self-effacing speeches. Here are some hastily transcribed highlights…
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN INDUCTS U2
Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall Of Fame : Waldorf Astoria, NYC 3/15/05
Ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Springteen:
“Uno, dos, tres, catorce. The translation is one, two, three, fourteen. That is the correct math for rock ‘n’ roll. The whole had better equal a lot more than the sum of its parts – or else you’re just rubbing two sticks together.”
He recalls seeing the band live in the early ’80s. It was the last time he’d see a group and know each member’s name.
“Each member plays a vital role … a democracy. Which is toxic in rock ‘n’ roll. In Iraq, maybe. In rock, NO!”
Plus:
“The young Bono singelehandly pioneered the Irish mullet.”
Zing! He makes fun of the Edge’s name too, before giving props:
“A rare and true guitar original … dedicated to ensemble playing. But do not be fooled: think Jimi Hendrix, Chuck Berry, Neil Young, Pete Townshend, guitarists who defined the sound of their band and their times.”
And the other two. They’re not bad either. Boss notes U2′s rhythm section provides the “sexuality and dangerousness.”
“Adam always strikes me as the sophisticated one … the tone and depth of his bass playing allowed the band to move from rock to dance … Larry bears the burden of being the band’s requisite good looking member, something overlooked in the E Street Band. We had to settle for charismatic.”
Time for Bono’s roast. I hope Jeff Foxworthy gets on stage for this one.
“Where do I begin? Jeans designer, soon-to-be World Bank operator, just plain operator, seller of the Brooklyn Bridge — oh, wait he just played under it. Soon-to-be mastermind of the Bono burger franchise where more than one million stories will be told by a crazy Irishman.”
Make fun of the mullet again please.
“Shaman, sheister, one of the most endearingly naked messianic complexes in rock and roll. God bless you man. It takes one to know one. Every good Irish and Italian-Irish frontman knows that before James Brown there was Jesus.”
Now it gets good ’cause Bruce starts talking about those fucking iPod commercials. He describes sitting on his couch watching TV with his fourteen-year-old son last year, doing his favorite thing: “tallying up all the money I lost in endorsements over the years.”
“Sudenly I hear ‘Uno, dos, tres, catorce’ … Oh my god, they’ve sold out! What I know about the iPod is this: it is a device that plays music. … I have a ludicrous image of myself that keeps me from cashing in. You can see my problem. Woe is me.”
But then he discovered the band wasn’t paid for it!
“To do the ad and not take the money: that’s smart. That’s wily.”
Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen MP3 player is coming soon, he jokes, though he will “remember not to accept any money.”
After midnight the band plays “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” Bono sprays champagne and serenades Catherine Zeta-Jones in the audience (really).
Anyway, I’m not a huge U2 fan (I don’t have all their albums). But can everyone admit they like at least one U2 song? Forget about the giant lemon, Steve Jobs, or anything else not pertaining to the music. Can you admit you like at least one of their songs? No? OK. More Lindsay Lohan pics coming soon then.
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I like many of their songs. I’m even one of the few that really enjoyed the Pop album a while back, which seems to serve as the red-headed step child in their catalogue.
Yes I like Bullet the Blue Sky and that is IT!
Yes, I can admit I like at least one of there songs. Doesn’t mean I will, though.
i think zooropa is more of the redheaded stepchild. santa deposited a tape of it in my crimmas stocking when i was 15… that year, it was clear i had been the recipient of walmart bulk bin presents. my older, cooler cousin called it “pooropa” and i started to cry. but ten years later, i still think ‘far away, so close’ is a solid piece of bono-action.
WAR is a great record.
Sunday Bloody Sunday
The Boss is kick ass.
U2 has plenty of amazing songs.
Oh, and more LL pics please.
How about that one that goes “Push the little daisies and make them come up”. That song is rebel, man!
i hate that people are too cool for U2. (huffs!)
anyway, if you don’t dig them or bono’s ego, chill, i’d like to see any other musician step up and help as many people across the world…anyhow, if that’s the case, then listen to their early albums. they are much more bold and punk rock.
out of control and the eletric co. from their first album, boy, are great.
pop is wildly critized as a shite album by people who’ve never actually listened to it.
Ellen, I agree about people being too cool for U2. W/o U2, there is no Radiohead.
What? Radiohead’s not hip anymore?
OK, w/o U2, there is no [insert favorite indie band here].
yeah. rattle and hum is a fantastic live release. (better than sunday bloody sunday i reckon)
I LOVE U2 and I’m not afraid to admit it! They’re my favorite band, so I say THANK YOU to Stereogum for the coverage!!
I am a huge U2 fan…There catalog of songs are amazing and ooo they are sooo not political lol!
Please don’t say ‘Zing’, this is not 2003.
How many bands can you count that have been together for 25 years that still retain all of their original members and never once went through any sort of line up change? Cross reference that list by how many bands you can think of that started as a punk/”new wave” band (almost entirely discovered by the original manager for the Stranglers), changed to a political band, dipped their toes in disco/irony and somehow ended up a pop band, all the while maintaining their fan base and somehow continually strengthening their relevance?
I’m pretty sure there’s only U2.
I’m not a huge U2 fan either, but I do enjoy their music. They have some great songs (when they aren’t overplayed on the radio) and they are definitely one of those bands that will become considered “legends” in years to come.
“One” is one of my faves and who CAN’T love that song from Batman???
i like pretty much the entire U2 discography thru and including Joshua Tree.
Achtung Baby has some wonderful moments also as did the last one.
Honestly, I have no ill will towards Bono and co. – they are talented icons and i still hit the dance floor when i hear “New Years Day”…especially on New Years Day.
unrelated note: have you seen this yet?
http://www.workman.com/catalog/pagemaker.cgi?1579652778
i work there and was just looking at the first copy back from the printer. all i could thing was stereogum would dig this. . .
nice work. ‘it takes one to know one’ who knew bruce was funny? i didn’t. that’s who.
oh yeah. i like one U2 song, but I can’t think of it…
I am a U2 spazz, and I like it. I’ve had a crush on the Edge since I was 7, which is a little weird to me.
Oh, and I get to see them in 13 days.
who knew bruce was funny? he’s always funny, like in every interview, onstage, etc.
also, u2 is of course overwrought but also great. been rocking “the fly” from achtung a lot. awesome record, eno is all over it.
U2 is one of the few bands to reach that 25 year qualification to be in the R and R Hall of Fame and still be peaking, commercially and creatively, during their induction..
bravo
Hey! My birthday present for myself (60th) was going to be to see U2 no matter what the price (I would go to any venue). Except THERE ARE NO TICKETS!!! Now don’t make sickening noises – I have seen/heard more rock that you will ever know. Literally raised on it and raised my sons the same. Anyway, what’s a girl to do? I am desperate.
i dont have all their albums either… but still consider myself a pretty big fan… i just kind of picked up what i thought were their best works : achtung baby, war, unforgettable fire, joshua tree, october…
funny u2 moment… not from u2 but from creed… the lead singer “tries” to quote where the streets have no name… and fails miserably… gahh… douchebag
so im hoping this induction will air…
U2 is my favorite band. They define cool.
Anyone who knocks that and what they’ve done for rock & roll only wish to be as cool. They kept things honest and real. It doesn’t get any better than that. Bono can win the Nobel Peace Prize or the World Bank President, the guy is sharp as hell and genuine about his causes… music or not… he’s the real deal. Miss the mullet, tho.
“Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me” is a good one.
Gloria gets me everytime…
U2 was the defining band of my emergence as a music fan — the first group that I really cared about. Early mornings in eighth grade were typically spent walking to the bus stop alone & humming something from Rattle & Hum. I still listen to Achtung Baby every other month or so.
But Achtung was the last of their albums that I bought, which I feel is about right. Bono will always get props & the Edge is a true innovator. But their catalog from the mid-nineties on is pretty blah. Great career though — they will never be forgotten.
The Joshua Tree was one of my first cds when I was 13 and I’ve loved U2 every since (i’m 25 now). It’s progressively becoming more and more “uncool” to like them and it’s a shame because their back catalogue is amazing. Yes, Bono can be a little overbearing when it comes to his media persona but he writes fantastic, memorable songs. I’ll be at two shows in April, squealing like a little girl. :)
U2 was also the first band that I really cared about, and Unforgettable Fire was the album that did it. I have seen every show ever since, although I think their live shows have gone down hill after Popmart. I have tickets to both sets of the tour coming up though and am hoping for a resurgence in quality. Getting quite tired of hearing just the ‘greatest hits.’
My favorite U2 related guffaw was when Third Eye Blind opened for them and said “U2 is a great band, one of the best we’ve ever toured with. So we hope they dont take offense, but this song is called I Hate London.” You could hear a collective “huh? they’re Irish idiot”
Sorry for the tour tangent.
I was in highschool in the 80′s when all the cool people moved from Ska to U2 and I never wanted to be one of the cool people so I had an almost decade long embargo on liking anything they did.
One day I caught the Rattle and Hum documentary on cable and was like, damn OK I guess I can cut them some slack they do know how to put on a spectacle.
Now I just have to avoid them on the radio so I can stand to listen to the new stuff but the old stuff finds its way into my headphones more regularly.
U2= Great
that’s actually kind of an interesting subject — who was the first band who was really important to you? for me it was either REM or the Pixies. Right around 1989.
Well, as I said above, U2 was the first band I really cared about. But my true first love is Prince. Been a fan since I was in second grade. And that counts as not a band since it was before The Revolution.
I love U2. Bono is one of the only true “Rock Stars” still making music today that matters, and it’s great to see him using his status and power to help change the world for better rather than bitch and complain about “President” Bush yet doing nothing more.
Why do you always have to “admit” you like a band. I always feel like to like rock, indie or good music (opposed to bad pop commercial music) is like being in the catholic church.
You must admit you like U2 like you admit a sin.
And if you admit your guilty sin then you shall be forgiven and accepted in the heaven of good music.
And until now I didn’t know U2 was shamefully bad band you could only “admit” to like, but just a few songs !!!
Do you get a memo or email to know when or what is good or bad. I always wonder because many blogs seems to think the same thing ?
But thanks for the knowledge : U2 = bad but it’s ok to admit to like some songs, Joy Division = good but what else did they besides this song ?
Anyway…
I love U2.
Peace out
i cannot beleive all this love for u2. u2 is probably the most overated rock band of all time. and when i say overated i dont mean worst. plenty of much worst bands out their, yes. however the fact that this band recieves such props is insane. I was a fan of their more poppy stuff, joshua tree is a good album and actung baby. but these songs have been overplayed and just over killed for so long that i jsut dont understand how anyone can still wanna hear it. i just think that its overated. I will not even comment on the last 2 records oh man. Simply put, i could rest easy if i never heard another song by them again.
PS: I hate bono
Working on a Ted Nugent U2 mashup just for you gummer….Nugent would probably use Edge for live bait…..yuk yuk
The only song I like and have downloaded was “Sunday Bloody Sunday.”
That song called uh…you know in the video where Edge sits there and talks in a monotoned voice and various things happen like feet on his face?
Well when I hear it I think of that scene and laugh.
Feet….on his face! HA!
holy mother, what is with all the u2 love on stereogum?
it’s out of control.
nice to see.
you know, anybody can hate bono.
that’s easy.
but it is way more fun to love him.
radiohead are goners. their glory days were over at the time of amnesiac’s release.
that being said, downward spiral o thommie!
They’ve got plenty of cool songs, especially in the 80s. But then, I’m a political science graduate student and I think Bono should either take a degree or go get a pint and recalls the good ol’days.
Why has this turned into a U2 lovers forum? They are a complete yawnfest. Bono greatest gift is self-promotion and sucking up to journalists. The Edge has had to go back to the sounds he used when he had hair to keep the ageing fanbase interested and the other two are such average musicians they wouldn’t even get a gig in a U2 cover band.
“listen to their early albums. they are much more bold and punk rock”
More bold I can see, as they (obviously) hadn’t had a chance to start pandering or repeating themselves yet. As far as punk rock, however . . .I think that those of us who were listening to punk when it started in the late ’70′s (probably few, if any of U2′s current fanbase, much less Stereogum’s readership) would consider that not only erroneous but insulting as well. U2 are now and have always been about self-aggrandizement and maximizing their profit margin, NOT breaking new ground musically or socially, something that was punk’s reason for existence.
out of control, and all of boy really, is brilliant.
I like U2′s cover of Patti Smith’s “Dancing Barefoot”. It was on the “Threesome” soundtrack.
Holy Joe,I Will Follow, most of their Zooropa and Pop cds,One are my choices.
QUOTE–Why has this turned into a U2 lovers forum? They are a complete yawnfest. Bono greatest gift is self-promotion and sucking up to journalists. The Edge has had to go back to the sounds he used when he had hair to keep the ageing fanbase interested and the other two are such average musicians they wouldn’t even get a gig in a U2 cover band.–QUOTE
i can handle people disliking the band.
whatever, that’s cool.
they are so popular and successful it is just too easy to hate them.
but give me a break with complaining that edge has recycled some riffs. the guy has a signature sound–is that bad?
99 percent of these new crap dance rock bands are all re-using the riffs he came up with in the first place.
and come on. larry and adam do not suck that bad.
of course you are right that bono is a great salesman.
you do realize there is a wink and a smile behind the shades though, right?
I have to agree with KJB – U2 has never been and probably never will be (at the rate the are going) “punk”. They can be described as “edgy” (pardon the pun) and they have been inovative with some of their music and writing, but they are pop/rock all the way! Their earlier stuff is overplayed, I agree, but I’d rather listen to that than ANY of their new crap! I hate to use the term “sell out”, but if the sunglasses fit…
And thanks mk – I totally forgot the name of that song from Batman, but I LOVE IT!
“The Fly,” “Gloria,” “Two Hearts,” “Zoo Station,” “I Will Follow,” “In God’s Country” and “It’s A Beautiful Day” give me an almost obscene amount of pleasure. I am pretty sheepish to admit in hipster company how much I like these songs…
It’s funny cuz U2 are such a mega icon that critics (especially a loveable, aged one at the LA Times) cannot, repeat CANNOT, write a review of any new band or performer without talking about U2.
So I propose a comparison. As the most consistently successful pop-rock band of the past two decades, is U2 on par in terms of cultural significance with the Rolling Stones? U2 clearly never had the sense of true danger, decadence or mystique that the Stones had at the height of their powers. But they did write some really, really good songs!!!
I always joke with my buddies that I have a very secret desire which I’m ashamed to confess and that is: to see U2 perform in a small club.
I think it’s dorky to talk about the cultural significance of U2′s music, but some of their best songs are just fantastic.
AS an extremely casual fan of the band (like I said, I will never bother to truly worship a band that has like zero sense of danger in their music or personalities) I must remark that not many people talk about WAR, in my opinion their second best album of their entire output. (ACHTUNG BABY is easily the best). I hereby want to start preaching WAR…
Spider Baby –
As far as longevity goes, I believe U2 will be the next Rolling Stones. I think they are very significant and should be viewed as such – I mean, hey, they just got into the R & R Hall of Fame, for Christ’s sakes, so they’re doing something right! They’ve done their part to “roll with the changes” and tailored their music to fit the popular genre of the moment. Any band that can do that and continue to have a following, should be given their due. I still see them, 10 to 15 more years down the road, putting out hits and touring (after The Edge has his hip replacement surgery, of course).
Was CZJ Bono’s guest or something or was she just there?
I have to say that when U2 lost me was when they did they whole “Rattle and Hum” thing and they did the cover of “Helter Skelter” and “God”. And Bono saying that they were stealing “Helter Skelter” back from Charles Manson and they added the verse in “God” about Albert Goldman at that point that is when I think they became some strange hybrid of Spinal Tap for me. I do have to say that they won me back with this new album I think its very good I think its one of the best they’ve done in years.
I didn’t hear any clips of the speeches but was Bruce speaking in his Southern Delta Blues by way of Freehold NJ accent?
U2 is not music. It’s a product, like spam, or Phil Collins.
besides, no band like franz ferdinand, the futureheads, etc. would be around if not for the undeniable rhythm section of u2.
right, i forgot ‘punk’ rock is the sex pistols and the clash…who sell their shit in hot topic!
and john lydon who was on the uk’s version of ‘i’m a celebrity, now get me out of here’…
you can still have a ‘punk’ aesthetic without living in a cardboard box!
i was so thrilled to get the u2 ipod for christmas- it’s the best thing i own!! lol
ok if that’s selling out, then the grateful dead putting their dick’s picks on iTunes should be considered such, too…
they want their fans to have their bootlegs and get their songs for a lot cheaper than it would cost in the record stores…i got every single u2 album, compilation and rare b-sides, etc. for $150 when it would cost probably 4x as much otherwise.
ps catherine zeta-jones is from wales, chill!
i would love bono to serenade my irish arse, too!!
reading the comments, two types: those who consider their own tastes, favorites, formative experiences and those who spend that same analytic time and energy trying to figure out what is and is not cool, indicating that, even if they enjoy or want to enjoy, an artist, or not, all depends on their equally personal opinion of what others like. Like, sad.
finally got to see the induction this weekend…
not a springsteen fan… but i have to give it up to him for his mad speech-giving skills… he totally put out a great vibe/mood to the room..
and yes he was v. funny… who knew… i certainly didnt
u2 is an amazing band, they have plenty of amazing songs
best albums-
1. joshua tree
2. all that you cant leave behind
3. war
4. rattle and hum
5. unforgettable
6. dismantle
7. achtung baby
8. boy
i want to send a letter to bruce springsteen and it is not a fan letter. it is very serious and it was given to steve van zandt almost a year ago to pass on. i gave it to him and told him it is a life and death situation..but he took it and i know he did not pass it on and this is wrong. this is not a case of giving to the coffe boy to pass on, it has to be given directly to bruce…. or emailed to him. how can you help on this…. it is a fight for life and bruce would care. thankyou susan miller 917 501 4433