What You’re REALLY Drinking In Your Damn Pumpkin Spice Latte

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• 1 pound Lies
• 1 cup Garbage
• 2 cups Bullshit
• 2 pounds WTF
• 1 cup Are You Kidding Me?!
• 2 pounds Wariness
• 1 tablespoon (Cancer?)
• 4.5 ounce But Anyway Yeah, We Definitely Did Not Think There Were Real Pumpkins In There
• 1 cup Espresso

THANKS 4 RUINING THANKSGIVING, NYT. (Via NYTimes.)