Candle After All: A Review Of The New Daft Punk Artisan Candle
Earlier this month we reported on Daft Punk’s new line of winter merch, which includes ornaments, snow globes, and a candle. Now with holiday shopping season in full swing, we asked Stereogum contributor and the Hairpin’s Candle Editor Kelly Conaboy to review the candle, which costs $40 (plus shipping) at daftpunk.com.
Candles burn — it’s simply what they do. And what else burns? Of course, you guessed it before I even finished the question: The timeless joy of music. “Is this burning an eternal flame?” the Bangles once asked, and yes, it is. Especially if by “this burning” you mean the burning of either music or candles. Daft Punk once named a song “Burnin'” on their album Homework and, yes, they were right, too. Especially if what’s “Burnin'” is the new Daft Punk “Mood” artisan candle.
And it is!
The Daft Punk “Mood” artisan candle is, as the Daft Punk website describes it, a 14 oz. unscented candle that was “hand-poured into black noir tumbler glass printed with a gold Daft Punk logo” which comes in a “heavy weight, keep-sake gift box printed with the Daft Punk robot schematics.” It has an all-natural wooden wick and allegedly burns for a minimum of 100 hours, which is an absurd amount of hours. Think of everything you could do in 100 hours. Watch 50 episodes of 120 Minutes. Burn this candle to the end. Etc.
The keepsake gift box is a lovely, luxury-style candle gift box that features on two of its sides, yes, gold Daft Punk robot “schematics,” a word at which I am not rolling my eyes — I just saw something on the ceiling briefly. The box is very nice. The box earns the Daft Punk artisan candle +2 robot candle schematics, “robot candle schematics” being the rating device I’ve decided to use for this candle just on my own, without culling ideas from any other sources. Also, the candle’s box holds a bunch of little, black, confetti-like papers that spill all over the place when you open it, which I find to be quite festive. Some things are worth a little clean-up, and it’s not as if it’s glitter, so why are you complaining? I love it. The festive confetti earns the Daft Punk artisan candle +3 robot candle schematics.
The candle is unscented, technically, but before being lit it definitely has a smell. Not exactly gasoline, but similar. Maybe more along the lines of “hardware store.” To put it plainly it smells like something toxic and dangerous to bring near a flame, but please be aware that I DO NOT mean this in a negative way. I love this smell! When the candle is lit it smells only very lightly like this, (“hardware store”), but, personally, I wish it smelled a lot more like it. My dream scented candle is “expensive gasoline/hardware store.” Mostly when this one is lit, though, it just smells “warm.” The lovely unscented scent earns the Daft Punk artisan candle +7 robot candle schematics.
When you light the wick, it sounds like a fire crackling, which I love. If all-natural wood wicks make your candle sound like a fireplace, why don’t all candles have all-natural wood wicks? I can only imagine this question will haunt candle reviewers until the end of time. I wasn’t planning on using my Daft Punk candle too much after assessing it for this review, but I will use it, if only for this sound. Oh, my god. I forgot one important thing about the candle that I will get to right after I grade the sound. The crackling fireplace sound earns the Daft Punk artisan candle +100 robot candle schematics.
This candle is black! Black wax. Usually candle wax is white, unless it’s Diptyque’s Feu de Bois candle, which is sort of grey, or many other candles that come in a variety of colors but you do have to admit that, for the most part, candle wax is white. Not so with the Daft Punk artisan candle. It really sets the “Mood,” as the candle is called. I like it, +6 robot candle schematics.
The candle’s glass is also black, save for the Daft Punk logo, which is gold. To be honest, I don’t exactly know why you would buy this candle for anyone, unless you needed to buy someone a gift and all you knew about them was that they liked Daft Punk. +1 robot candle schematic.
FINAL SCORE: 119 robot candle schematics.