Jorel Rocks His Bar Mitzvah
It is a common refrain among the elderly (17+) that we are glad the Internet wasn’t around when we were children because we can only imagine the countless embarrassing things we would have published for all the world to see that would have continued to follow us well into our adult lives, ruining our employment prospects, our relationships, and our lives. What the elderly often forget, of course, is that everything is relative, and that while we almost certainly would have done exactly what we fear we would have done, and while the current crop of idiots (read: children) are no different, publishing hundreds of thousands of hours each day of unwatchable video evidence to their own cluelessness about the way the world works, the end result is that since EVERYONE is doing it now it no longer matters, because when they are President it will be expected that everyone has a bong rips lip dub video. If anything it’s going to be HARDER to get a job if you don’t have an entire lifetime of unfortunate web history behind you because what kind of ALIEN didn’t try to vlog about pooping their pants on the bus when they were in elementary school and hit “upload” even though the video was 15 minutes long and involved their dad coming in and ruining everything? This is America! So what I am saying is OK, yeah, sure, Jorel’s rockin’ bar mitzvah invitation video might turn out to be mildly embarrassing to him as he gets older (say, 14?) but it’s also the thing that’s going to get him elected MAYOR OF THE CITY OF NEW MCDONALDS SPONSORED BY AQUAHYDRATE IN ZONE 13.
They grow up so fast, but also not, you know? (Thanks for the tip, Hamish.)