Chareth Cutestory

Comments from Chareth Cutestory

The Fall
0 |
October 6, 2011 on The 10 Best Movie Opening Title Sequences
There's this hobo behind my building who's been planking for days now. Guy's a goddamn pro.
+22 |
June 27, 2011 on Rosario Dawson Likes Planking, Whatever That Is
I was just kidding. Keep your chin up. For Ebert's sake.
+6 |
June 22, 2011 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
Meanwhile, Ira Glass is stuck trying to shoehorn a story about organic salad dressing into an overall narrative on post-9/11 milieu.
+12 |
April 15, 2011 on Tina Fey On Fresh Air
God, remember being ten years old, you guys? Back then synchronized sand dancing was so much more, I don't know, real, you know?
+23 |
March 7, 2011 on Teen Korner: Willow Smith’s “21st Century Girl” Music Video
"Bullying is wrong, y'all. Ok, so this next track is about me raping my ex-wife Kim with a chainsaw."
+12 |
October 1, 2010 on Eminem Feat. Lil Wayne “No Love” Music Video, You Guys
Who said what now?
+24 |
October 1, 2010 on United States Congress Passes Historic Legislation!
But my binky soaked in ether is still ok, right? RIGHT?
+10 |
September 22, 2010 on Guys! No! Don’t Do Drugs!
More like BLAMnesty International. Wait, are we still doing BLAM jokes?
+32 |
September 21, 2010 on E-Trade Is A Stupid Pussy
The auto-tuned version of this preemptively hit #12 on Billboard's Hot 100 and my grandmother has it as her jitterbug ringtone.
+50 |
September 20, 2010 on Your Boyfriend Really Hates Toys R Us
I brayed like a retarded mule at that line. Or is it BLAM-TARDED MULE?
+36 |
August 31, 2010 on Teen Korner: Disney Blam! Ain’t Your Daddy’s Toonz
Don't joke about this, Gabe. Sting once approached me in a supermarket singing about Fields of Rold Gold and then had tantric sex with my fiance for three days. And that wasn't even for a commercial.
+59 |
August 31, 2010 on Lionel Richie’s Potato Chip Commercial Is The Saddest Potato Chip Commercial Of All Time
+51 |
August 31, 2010 on Behind The Scenes Of Television’s Mad Men
I googled "chamber pots" as part of my research for a "gabe is old" joke, and instead found this.
+34 |
August 30, 2010 on “Hey, It’s Me, Toilet Fan Extreme”
Ok, so I clearly misread this as an article about American Apparel for some reason. And I'm keeping the leggings.
+11 |
August 24, 2010 on Quicksand: A Brief Herstory
So I still have time to demand a refund on these leggings, then?
+4 |
August 24, 2010 on Quicksand: A Brief Herstory
My gay friends love her, so I blame them. Thanks a lot, Sebastian and Michael.
+22 |
August 19, 2010 on Encyclopedia Monsters And The Case Of Chelsea Handler And The VMAs
Usually it's the child that's a little Hellraiser.
+18 |
August 19, 2010 on Man With Swastikas On His Head Unlocks Internet’s True Potential
"The Bridge to Terabithia was nothing but a turgid discussion of categorical imperatives." - You
+46 |
August 11, 2010 on That’s Your 11-Year-Old Film Critic: Jackson
"Let's take down the Washington establishment." - Son of a former US Vice President
+77 |
August 11, 2010 on Ben Quayle Would Like To Represent Arizona’s Snoreth District
Hey, T Mills? See this corny motherfucker? See that old dude? He subsided off of amphetamines and peanut butter, and once wandered (unannounced, mind you) into the White House with a FUCKING GUN, and presented it to the President: So put the Malibu back in your parent's pantry, you unoriginal cocksucker and calm the fuck down. You'll be much cooler.
+67 |
August 11, 2010 on Teenagers, You’re Liking Music Wrong
"I'm not going to change." - Guy who's modified his body beyond all recognition
+59 |
August 11, 2010 on Teenagers, You’re Liking Music Wrong
Gabe's not too fond of this William Joel character either.
+43 |
August 11, 2010 on Teenagers, You’re Liking Music Wrong
Right: a flat-topped, smug jackass who, when he's not boring the shit out of me with his glorified karaoke contests, spends his days lactating on the French Riviera. Left: An American idol.
+7 |
August 10, 2010 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Weird Baby O’Brien And/Or Cowell Body Nightmare
Joke's on you, Gabe. I don't even HAVE a job.
+71 |
August 10, 2010 on This Is Your Coffee Break
Yeah, J Biebs, because if history has taught us anything, it's that child celebrities really start to soar once they grow up.
+10 |
August 10, 2010 on Teen Korner: Justin Bieber’s ProActiv Commercial