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crania americana
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 +8Posted on Dec 16th | re: Did Death Grips Just Announce A Tour? (26 comments)

I would believe just about any Death Grips news no matter how outlandish at this point. “Death Grips Bought a Zoo.” Yeah, that sounds like Death Grips. “Death Grips Plan Tour Inside of a Decommissioned Nuclear Submarine.” Classic Death Grips. “Death Grips Collaborate With Charles Manson on Nature Documentary About Barn Owls.” That’s the most Death Grips thing they could do! “Death Grips Appointed Secretary of Defense.” About time! Really the only Death Grips news item would shock me is if they honored a basic commitment or something crazy like that.

 +11Posted on Dec 15th | re: DIIV Respond To Controversy Over Bassist's Hateful 4Chan Comments (75 comments)

Ah yes, your sophisticated critique of the pitfalls of mixing politics and music echoes the one that great thinker Larry the Cable Guy lobbed at Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks well over a decade ago. A nobler historical precedent could not be found. Git ‘r done, indeed!

 +17Posted on Dec 15th | re: DIIV Respond To Controversy Over Bassist's Hateful 4Chan Comments (75 comments)

SJW is a really useful acronym. When I see someone use it, I immediately know that person is a dipshit. Huge time saver.

 +21Posted on Dec 14th | re: DIIV Respond To Controversy Over Bassist's Hateful 4Chan Comments (75 comments)

“4chan: because you’re too much of a shitbag even for reddit.”

 +3Posted on Dec 13th | re: Jeremih Arrested For Trying To Board A Locked Flight (3 comments)

If he thought birthday sex was good, wait until he gets a load of conjugal visit sex!

And not to nitpick, but Billings is the largest city in Montana. Small by some standards, perhaps, but what qualifies as a small town in Montana is somewhere around 100 people, not over 100,000.

 0Posted on Dec 11th | re: Stereogum's 70 Favorite Songs Of 2014 (181 comments)

I was firmly on the “eh this kind of sounds like shit” side of the great Voidz debate of ’014. Same goes for why there’s no Swans up there (more often than not “To Be Kind” sounded like what the imaginary Swans parody band in my head sounds like). Similarly, “I Watched the Film The Song Remains the Same” didn’t make the cut because I only had one spot for a sparse 10+ minute track that somehow finds profundity in a fairly literal recounting of mundane life experiences, and “Daughter of a Dove” swiped that up, because “Daughter of a Dove” is fucking amazing.

 +9Posted on Dec 11th | re: Stereogum's 70 Favorite Songs Of 2014 (181 comments)

Great year for my favorite type of song: those at least over seven minutes long.

Amen Dunes – “Love”
The War on Drugs – “In Reverse”
Parquet Courts – “Instant Disassembly”
Moonface – “Daughter of a Dove”
William Tyler – “Whole New Dude”
Grouper – “Holding”
Nathan Bowles – “Sleepy Lake TIre Swing”

Runner-ups (i.e. the “close enough” division)

Angel Olsen – “White Fire”
Steve Gunn – “Tommy’s Congo”
Sharon Van Etten – “Your Love is Killing Me”

Way to drag it out gloriously, everyone!

 +9Posted on Dec 11th | re: Coldplay - "Miracles" (5 comments)

It’s astounding that Coldplay didn’t already have a song titled “Miracles” –– I could have sworn there were already about 5 or 6. This is like if Bon Jovi had waited until their 10th album to write a song called “New Jersey,” or if DMX had just sprung “Rough Riders Anthem” on us last year.

 +4Posted on Dec 10th | re: Billy Corgan On The Smashing Pumpkins: "The Fanbase Is Gone" (37 comments)

“Despite all my rage, I don’t have much of a fanbase anymore.”

 +3Posted on Dec 10th | re: Billy Corgan On The Smashing Pumpkins: "The Fanbase Is Gone" (37 comments)

“I used to be a little boy: a boy with a fanbase.”