Comments from ellisdean

No Bill Ward? No Sabbath.
0 |
February 5, 2017 on Black Sabbath Play Final Concert
Clearly we need to mandate that every single musician give their political opinions online so we know who to shun and who is OK. We have to identify ALL these people so we know who is appropriate and who should be sent to the cultural gulag. We must to be sure that everybody thinks EXACTLY the same way we all do, or else something is very wrong. Free speech is good & all, but really, in times like these, we need to make sure everybody is in line or else they need to be silenced, right? Jokes must never "punch down". All humor must fall into appropriate categories. If not, the joke-teller or opinionista will be re-educated into the appropriate ways for expressing themselves. Your political support must fall neatly into one of two categories: centrist left, or progressive left. Green is too "kooky" unless you're a singer-songwriter. Right, guys? Let's get started...as soon as these 55 year-old thrash musicians are straightened out.
-4 |
January 25, 2017 on Fuck Slayer
That Preminger track is killer...thanks. Looking forward to this new column.
+2 |
January 20, 2017 on Ugly Beauty: The Month In Jazz – January 2017
Don't like it? Don't watch it. Complaining about something just makes it more popular. If people ignore it, it will LITERALLY go away (as if Trump isn't enough of a lesson in this). Twitter, BTW, should be off-limits to anyone who isn't a comedian or a musician.
-17 |
December 21, 2016 on Rostam Criticizes La La Land’s Lack Of LGBTQ Characters And People Of Color
The most surprising thing in the story is that he married Daisy Fuentes. They must have insanely attractive offspring.
+10 |
December 20, 2016 on Richard Marx Stops Passenger Attack On Korean Air Flight
No mention of Ty Segall. Seriously? New one comes out Jan. 27. You guys get your pants all tight over some LCD Snoozesystem nonsense but forget the guy who released one of the best albums last year. At least you remembered King Gizzard, I guess.
-2 |
December 14, 2016 on The 101 Most Anticipated Albums Of 2017
Huh...one delusional, egomaniacal, talentless douchebag with a plastic wife admires another delusional, egomaniacal, talentless douchebag with a plastic wife . Go figure.
+8 |
November 18, 2016 on Kanye West: “If I Would’ve Voted, I Would’ve Voted On Trump”
I see you've got your Marin/Portland-to-English phrasebook out by your use of "privilege" & "marginalized people". Are you sure you don't work for the store. It's clear the store is run by giant sellouts who only cry foul when they're not reaping enough of a benefit. It took them five years to figure out that it wasn't going to work out? Now, I don't want to make a crack about women being bad at math, but holy hell...if they couldn't figure out after the first encounter with the IFC crew that it wasn't going to work, then this "poor us" stuff is just nonsense. They've been ok with being the butt of the jokes as long as the illusion of money (through "free" publicity from the store being featured in the show)...but when that money never materialized because SURPRISE...the market for "lit for womyn" is a little anemic, they decided to pull the rip cord and make a stink about it. I personally don't care for the show anymore...the past couple of seasons have been tired and unfunny. But this store is validating every single stereotype that they find hurtful. They're hurting themselves and their "community" by acting like the very people they despise. Don't you see that? Obviously they can do whatever they want with their store, but this little e-tantrum that they're throwing hurts them more than showing that they have "principles" or whatever they think they have. Nothing is holy...or, at least, SHOULD be holy. Free expression is vitally important to societal progress and to the creation of art (no matter what form it takes). Either get on board or get out of the way, but take your "hurt feelings" somewhere else. People have stuff to create and we can't pull over the progress train every time there's a kid with a skinned knee.
-15 |
September 30, 2016 on Portland’s Real-Life Feminist Bookstore: “Fuck Portlandia”
The only thing missing on the "Complete Experience" video is a voice over stating "Talk to your doctor before taking Coachelocash. Side effects may include floppy hats on menopausal women, bike riding in slow motion, and some guy in a ringer-T who has never held a guitar in his life."
+4 |
September 29, 2016 on Oldchella By The Numbers: $1,000 Per Person, 1,000 Flushable Toilets
Dusk is a masterpiece from the mid-90's musical wilderness. Black Foliage is also great, but it stands on the shoulders of a giant in Cubist Castle. OTC's lack of a breakthrough wasn't for a lack of genuine effort; I saw them open for Beck on his Odelay tour...so they were *there*, front and center. It's just that their audience wasn't (I wasn't a fan until a song into their set...and then I became a zealot). They seem to me to be a band that was better suited for today's massively fragmented online musical marketplace than a traditional music retail model.
+5 |
September 21, 2016 on Elephant 6 & Friends Reflect On The Legacy Of The Olivia Tremor Control’s Dusk At Cubist Castle
So...wait...he's right about the fluff stories, but he's being a "huge dick"? Of course it's time consuming to produce at a high level...but people (supposedly) come to SG for actual content, not old reposts of crap that's marginally related to music. It takes just as much time to write a half-hearted recap of an Ellen segment as it does to write up a quick blurb about a new & emerging artist. And saying it's not really any of his business is...well...curiously stupid.
-4 |
September 15, 2016 on Watch Ariana Grande Try To Explain What A Dick Bicycle Is To Ellen DeGeneres
Wow, stalking on FB and then posting here, eh? That's both creepy AND sad! Congratulations, you are an honorary Redditor...
-3 |
September 15, 2016 on Watch Ariana Grande Try To Explain What A Dick Bicycle Is To Ellen DeGeneres
Some idiot got their feelings hurt by a white reggae artist...I don't even know where to begin to stop caring about any of it. Hint: if you put a picture of your child on social media, be prepared for some people to not like your spawn. Just FYI.
-15 |
August 10, 2016 on Matisyahu Apologizes For Telling Fan Her Child Is “Ugly As Fuck”
I can't wait for the all-male remake of the all-female redo of the franchise reboot of the original.
+9 |
August 10, 2016 on Rihanna Joins All-Female Ocean’s Eleven Spinoff Alongside Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kaling
Makes sense, seeing as he had to get his wife involved for his last hit...
0 |
June 29, 2016 on Paul Simon May Retire From Music After This Year
"I was raised in the art world by a dad who painted aggro scenes of sexuality and war and a mom who, ironically enough, has photographed some butt naked life-sized dolls of her own." It's like she's having a douche-off with Kanye... Lena, honey, it's not a contest.
+33 |
June 27, 2016 on Lena Dunham On Kanye’s “Famous” Video: “It Gives Me Such A Sickening Sense Of Dis-ease”
There's a difference between cultural appropriation, and plain ol' bad choices. Anybody but Bob covering "Redemption Song" is the latter.
+3 |
June 27, 2016 on Justin Timberlake Apologizes For Commenting On Jesse Williams’ BET Awards Speech
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
+14 |
June 14, 2016 on Morrissey Is A Bernie Bro
Here I aaaaaaaam at Dairy Queen oh yeah....
+9 |
June 6, 2016 on Axl Rose Wants Google To Remove Fat Axl Meme
Is it ok to think that both SJW's are fascists who are afraid of free speech AND Billy's a friggin' crazy nutbar? Can we get a Venn diagram together for this?
-1 |
May 12, 2016 on Billy Corgan Compares Bernie Sanders To Chairman Mao
Jesus...making fun of an autistic airport janitor? Really? What, he couldn't find any people with Down's syndrome? What a piece a trash that guy is.
+2 |
May 3, 2016 on 50 Cent In Hot Water For Mocking Autistic Airport Janitor On Video
Boy, he really is crazier'n a rat in a tin can, isn't he?
+6 |
April 24, 2016 on Of Course Morrissey’s Prince Eulogy Trashes The Royal Family Too
They deserve to WORK at a gas station for all they've put us through...
+10 |
April 20, 2016 on Dayton Police Deny There Will Be A Limp Bizkit Concert At The Gas Station On Wayne Ave Tonight
If Billy is sporting the look of someone who takes "Alex Jones’ Super Male Vitality health supplements", then I'ma gonna go ahead and...uh...not.
+26 |
April 19, 2016 on Billy Corgan Returns To Infowars To “Demolish Social Justice Warrior Brainwashing”
Can anyone stand listening to these two gibbering morons talk? One's like a Canadian offspring of Neil Hamburger and Emo Philips born with fetal alcohol syndrome, the other is like a walking cliche who can't complete a sentence without spiraling into "y'knowwhuti'msayin". Honestly, I know I'm an "old man", but these people are terrible.
-11 |
March 22, 2016 on Nardwuar Interviews DJ Khaled
The mint-condition Zappa...oh lord, the Zappa...
+2 |
March 2, 2016 on Minnesota Vinyl Collector Scores 100,000 Decades-Old Mint-Condition Albums
I can't wait for the Thought Police to tell the cismale hegemony which specific words to use when referring to "the uterus". We don't want anybody's delicate feelings in the scratch & dent aisle, now do we?
+3 |
February 17, 2016 on Killer Mike Causes Campaign Controversy With “Uterus” Remark
Saw him on the "Smile" tour. It was clean, well-rehearsed, and sounded very good. Brian Wilson, though, was not looking good and probably didn't even know where he was...after the show he wandered down the wrong staircase off the stage into the audience and his handlers had to corral him back stage. It was sad, but if you want to see a living legend perform with a tight group of musicians who care about the music, see a show on this tour.
0 |
January 26, 2016 on Brian Wilson Announces 50th Anniversary Pet Sounds World Tour