Benjamin Cohen

Comments from Benjamin Cohen

I don't know what to say other than that I feel a great sense of gratitude to Gabe, Linsday, Kelly, and the videogum community at large. This site is genuinely something special, and I think the fact that so many of us are struggling to put our thoughts cleanly onto blog-paper highlights the ineffable, positive effect the site has had on our lives. I know this isn't the 'end' of videogum by any means, but its as worthy a time as any to show my appreciation, and I want Gabe, the videogum staff, and all the monsters in blogland to know that I think this place is super special and I'm truly thankful I happened to stumble across it when I did. Gabe - thank you, sincerely. Never stop being the bitter, out-of-touch, werther's originals-toting 80 year pop-culture critic you were born to be! May the blogs ever be in your favor.
+9 |
August 3, 2013 on This Is Just A Goodbye Post
While "It's impossible I'm a racist because [true fact you idiots didn't know about me]" is usually a pretty weak argument, I got to say that I'm swayed some by the biracial children aspect. Besides for the whole "willing to mate" with a member of the race in question, I can't imagine someone could hold onto even the jokey-malice I associate with making 'asian eyes' given that its literally the faces of her children she would be openly mocking. That said, its a fair point that Kate Gosselin has definitely made some choices before that haven't reflected all that well on the entire "very concerned for my kids emotional health and well-being" thing.
+6 |
June 25, 2013 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Kate Gosselin’s Racist Photo
There’s apparently no way that I can embrace my intelligence, be on the cover of the Journal of Differential Geometry, and also be feminine and sexual, and know what a dress is. - bizarro-universe Olivia Munn
+3 |
June 7, 2013 on Quote Of The Day: Olivia Munn Knows The Pythagorean Theorem
"Vin Diesel: Lasagna Don" Like Cake Boss, but with Vin Diesel and lasagna instead of cake. Don't pretend this wouldn't be instantly watchable.
+11 |
April 24, 2013 on Vanilla Ice Goes Amish And Other Nonsense Phrases
This hasn't occurred to me until just now, but why hasn't anyone done a mashup of "I Like Big Butts" and Elliott Smith's "The Biggest Lie"? Seems like a match made in heaven.
+4 |
April 22, 2013 on Big Butts Rule
Not saying this looks like the crowd I want to spend every night with, but that terrible daytime house-party look kinda fun to me.
+10 |
April 18, 2013 on “Bad Ass Bitch” (Featuring Snake)
"A million dollars isn't cool. You know what is cool? Dinosaurs."
+10 |
April 8, 2013 on Best New Party Game: Non-Jurassic Park Quotes Into Jurassic Park Quotes
No joke, a girl I dated in high school went on a date to one of these, and was super excited about how much fun it was going to be. She also met the last two guys she's been in serious relationships with at renaissance fairs. I guess what I'm saying is: this is actually my girlfriend.
+10 |
February 26, 2013 on That’s Your Boyfriend: Self-Proclaimed Jedi Master Alain Bloch
"the pain of not being able to pin down why you can never get your French Press coffee to taste great" I cannot express how much sympathy I have for you right now Kelly. Why didn't I just swallow my pride and go for the drip!
+5 |
November 28, 2012 on Does The Universe Have A Purpose?
Wait, what's the story here? Who is that guy? And while closer inspection has revealed that these two are just sitting in some seats, why was my first impression that they were in a bumper car? Is bumper cars an acceptable Hollywood anyone date? Asking for a friend.
+11 |
November 13, 2012 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Mary Kate Olsen’s Romantic Kiss!
McDonalds Firing was one of my favorite sketches of the season. The part about rehearsing it killed me.
+8 |
November 12, 2012 on Saturday Night Live: Anne Hathaway And Rihanna
In high school I was the captain of my school's Mathletes and I got into a fist fight with the captain of the Mathletes at our rival school. I guess what I'm saying is, competitive math tournaments can get pretty heated!
+11 |
November 8, 2012 on Vincent Kartheiser Sure Gets Punched In The Face A Lot!
I do wonder if they is any good logic for why Mike wouldn't leave some guy of his to watch Walt for that hour he's gone. As it stands, its just seems like the most amateur move imaginable from a guy who has been established as "least amateur guy in the biz". Right now I can think a few reasons: 1) All Mike's "guys" are in lockup/being tailed like him by the DEA I don't buy this one, Mike has to know lots of random young dudes with guns he can trust 2) Mike knew Walt would try to pay them off for an absurd amount Mike hires ppl who don't take bribes because they don't want Mike to shoot em. so Unless he really has no one, this is out of the question too. 3)Mike is a dum dum The only option I see atm. Thoughts?
+8 |
August 20, 2012 on Breaking Bad S05E06: You Don’t Get 500 Million Meth Dollars Without Making A Few Frenemies
I really appreciate the "show-not-tell" exposition they did here. "Whoa, Jason Alexander sure is cool and confident when it comes to making coffee drinks! Wait, whose this girl? Oh no, CUPS HARD TO HOLD!!"
+5 |
August 20, 2012 on Jason Alexander IS Nickelback
This is classic season 1 Jesse. Love it!
+1 |
July 20, 2012 on Friday Giveaway: Breaking Bad Season 4 On Blu-Ray And A Poster!
Wait, my issue is Dish + AMC which is apparently a separate issue. :(
+4 |
July 20, 2012 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
Th DirectTV + Viacom thing is actually not such boring news, as that is what is keeping me from watching Breaking Bad live for the next few weeks. I hope this means the AMC stuff will be back very immediately though, or I'm screwed for Sunday.
+1 |
July 20, 2012 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
Jesse: Yo, its got like these like, sick blue rays all over the place Badger: Sweet man... you got any crystal?
+2 |
July 20, 2012 on Friday Giveaway: Breaking Bad Season 4 On Blu-Ray And A Poster!
"And, when the couple — who has been together for three years — attended a friend’s wedding on June 23, they seemed more interested in what comes after marriage: the baby carriage." Do they have a specific Pulitzer for Journalism and Poetry, or will we just have to award this guy the two separately?
+15 |
This reads like ad copy for a person.
+3 |
July 5, 2012 on Is Tom Hiddleston People’s Sexiest Man Alive??? Dear Paramount Pictures, A little birdy came and told me it was your birthday. DUDE! Happy Friggin' Birthday! (with) Mad Love, Charlize Theron
+21 |
June 12, 2012 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: 100 Years Of Paramount
"However, those of us that are skeptical about climate change, are not so much skeptical of the fact that the climate is changing." About this - while your point may be about how not-ah-so-good you think the left's approach to climate change solutions are, I'd say that a great number, likely even the majority, of "anti-climate-changers" are of the opinion that the basic facts are a hoax perpetrated by liberal scientists purely as a tool to promote an otherwise useless green-agenda. That's the kind of claim Pat Robertson is supporting here and its dangerous for the very reason that it isn't about policy and approach but a blatant rejection of reality.
+5 |
April 18, 2012 on Pat Robertson Rests His Case About Global Warming
I just did a search down this page and upvoted every mention of Crisp. Good job guys! #MakingItInAmerica #hoodies #providedyouarenotLatinoorBlack,duh
+4 |
March 23, 2012 on That’s Your Boyfriend: Geraldo Rivera
Am i the only one who really enjoyed Rude Buddha? I really liked it!
+5 |
March 5, 2012 on Saturday Night Live: Lindsay Lohan And Jack White
By the commutative property, Nick Cage + magic = 2(Nick Cage) + right director.
+12 |
February 27, 2012 on The 2012 Razzie Nominations
Hey Mr. bender guy, if you don't told tell us what kind of encoding ur using, how are we supposed to know what ur sayin? Maybe he just wanted to tell his girlfriend to look in memory location 0x139ac0a976bf400000000000000000000000000000000000000000 and she is just totally misinterpreting this!
+4 |
February 9, 2012 on Which Is The Cooler On-Camera Proposal?
I feel like how the mise en scène of the cover effectively communicates the message. White flowers! White furniture! White backdrop! White lettering! White makeup! Say what you will about Vanity Fair (racist), but they know their audience (racists).
+18 |
January 31, 2012 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: The Annual Vanity Fair “Hollywood” Cover
The Jay Pharaoh Show was insane, because it was like he was explicitly saying "yup, this is all I can do, kinda 1-dimensional I guess". Which is sad, cos either the writers put him up to it and he was just happy to be a major player in a sketch, or else he was all for it, which is weird because then that means he's comfortable being the guy with 4 or 5 go-to impressions and sort of nothing else going for him comedically speaking, which doesn't make me like him much or really bode well for his future on SNL and/or anywhere in comedy.
+6 |
January 16, 2012 on Saturday Night Live: Daniel Radcliffe And Lana Del Rey
Robocop: The Untold Comedy Standup Routine
0 |
January 14, 2012 on Friday Giveaway: John Mulaney’s New In Town