Jon Stevens

Comments from fb585798041

Has nobody else had the title of this album remind them of the word "vulva?" And then also the fucking treat going down the middle of her chest...
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January 26, 2015 on Premature Evaluation: Björk Vulnicura
This song needs a vocal filter on Ben. It's growing on me, but at some points I feel like I'm about to be led into an NPR special.
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January 26, 2015 on Death Cab For Cutie – “Black Sun”
Shit. I needed that today.
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October 8, 2014 on TV On The Radio – “Careful You”
Apologies in advance for this fire and brimstone tangent that's about to take place, but as far as tonight goes, this is the fucking anvil that dropped on the already shaky, arthritic camel's back. Kanye was interviewed in GQ a couple issues ago, and in said interview he compared the constant lambasting and overall sour, nonchalantly dismissive treatment of celebrity behavior to be very similar to the treatment of blacks in the 60s. I could be paraphrasing, but it was something to that close effect. Naturally I wanted to roll up the issue and molotov cocktail his mouth for that statement alone, but then here's this bullshit. And honestly, sadly, it's not even Kanye alone who should be taking all this flack. We really, really, really fucking need to stop heralding celebrities. I think a plateau will soon be reached where people just can't take this shit anymore, but until then; these musicians, actors, whoever—the majority of them— are flawed, broken, prone to spouting as much asinine garbage as the rest of us "civilians." Most of them will never really be participants, just passengers, albeit in first class. And what I mean by that is: from my own standpoint as someone who wants to succeed in the unconventional world of the arts (and as someone who has considered hanging up his hat in this field due to convictions fueled by moments like this), it's imperative to remember that all art, all of it, is just bread before the meal. That isn't to say art and its contribution to society isn't important, but it's far too subjective of a domain to have spawned this hierarchy in our world between "us" and "them." It's far too similar to Medieval Ages for my liking. To get to this point where we've produced and then bred human beings who think—though manufactured or not—they're so supremely vital, for creating something that's purely enjoyable or entertaining, but not essential, we have failed as a culture. And that's seriously terrifying.
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September 15, 2014 on Kanye Halts Sydney Show Until Seated Fans Prove They’re Disabled
I lied to my boss—a pretty chill guy who isn't much older than myself—in order to be able to leave an hour or so early today so I could listen to this stream in peace. Tomorrow when I come in, I'll be honest with him and say I went on a pilgrimage to Heaven. And he'll understand.
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July 29, 2014 on Premature Evaluation: Spoon They Want My Soul
Annnnnnd thank you Spoon for justifying, yet again, my spending $75 on the one day you perform at Boston Calling.
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July 22, 2014 on Spoon – “Inside Out”
Where the Wild Things Are? Either way, Weezer's consistency (or lack thereof) confuses me. I can't tell if I'm just attached to the memories of the Blue and Green Albums in high school, or if they're genuinely just unchanging for the most part. Or if they're like living on life support and the cord needs to be snipped.
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July 2, 2014 on Check Out Weezer’s Everything Will Be Alright In The End Album Cover
Hahaha, fuck. I can see Brian Williams now.
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July 2, 2014 on Metal Band To Play In A Box Until They Run Out Of Oxygen
Also, the loop in the song is fucking maddening, like gnat that gets in your sweaty ear while you're running.
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June 30, 2014 on Bon Iver – “Heavenly Father”
It appears as though Mistah Braff is in a competition with himself for having Indiest Soundtrack to A Film Indier Than Garden State. And, admittedly, I did love Garden State's soundtrack, I don't know if I can handle another competition between the World Cup, Wimbledon, and MLB, Dr. Dorian.
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June 30, 2014 on Bon Iver – “Heavenly Father”
I really dig this track. That said, for some reason this unfortunate thing popped into my head as soon as I heard it the first time:
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June 29, 2014 on Ryn Weaver – “OctaHate”
I bet the SNL skit writing dudes are clinking beers in some office right now.
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June 29, 2014 on Dozens Of Avicii Fans Get Too Fucked Up In Boston
Someone needs to tell me the secret of getting into Future Islands, because I'm tryin'. Just when I start to like a song, something negative happens, or I'm reminded of the lead singer's likeness to an alternative universe Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, and I just can't take that seriously.
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June 29, 2014 on Vote For The Song Of The Summer 2014
I've never listened to a Black Lips song—at least not while I was in a cognizant state of mind. Regardless, this guy seems like so many burned-out, pseudo-activist floaters that I see around my neck of the woods. Even if he had valid points to express, it's like gnomes in his brain are just dicking around instead of working at the articulation machines. Even still, Lorde is mostly whack (though relatively harmless) for a variety of reasons. One of which being a more intelligible, more informed version of what Cole was trying to say.
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March 25, 2014 on Black Lips’ Cole Alexander Disses Lorde, Drake, & Macklemore
edit: Patrick Carney's EDITORIAL facial expressions.
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March 24, 2014 on The Black Keys – “Fever”
I read somewhere that Mark comes off as a "moody boy" and the lyrics on this album tried too hard to sound urgent but ultimately came off as pretty trite—I'm mostly paraphrasing, by the way. I'm aware of the fact that Foster the People fall under the umbrella of "a band people that love to hate", but in the defense solely of some lyrics (and catchiness), "Are You What You Want to Be?" is probably one of the most pertinent, relatable songs in the pop/alternative/whatever the fuck genre to come out thus far. Granted, it's definitely candied. It also has some clichés, but so does everything.
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March 24, 2014 on The Week In Pop: The Mis-MGMT Of Foster The People
This song is the audible equivalent to Patrick Carney's ubiquitous facial expressions, which resemble an unenthused donkey. Also, I agree with Elvis vs. Shark.
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March 24, 2014 on The Black Keys – “Fever”
I don't want to single anyone out, and I don't mean to bash on chaditoburrito in particular for his opinion of Earl or Tyler because, well, I'm aware that different opinions do actually exist, but my case for these guys being generally unremarkable is a pretty informed one. This is mostly do the fact that I'm pretty critical of myself, too. After reading what I consider to be "enough" of Tyler and Earl's lyrics, watching interviews, reading biographies, etc., it's pretty easy to see that these guys spew a lot of the same pseudo-intellectual, naval-gazing observations, analyzations, and critiques that many of us (myself included) have been guilty of barfing out--usually after a couple beers. To be super general and somewhat concise, OF and the lot are capitalizing on the fact that they're charming and interesting in an "I don't give a fuck, but I also don't drink and I'm not a typical degenerate" way. It seems alluring, I guess, and I'm sure they probably are decent dudes, fun to be around, but even Tyler and Taco's appearance on "Ridiculousness" was uncomfortable as fuck to watch. The group's behavior for the most part makes them look like jackasses. You don't need to wear Ralph Lauren, always put out your best etiquette, or write convoluted lyrics like Ezra Koenig to appear vital in music culture, but you also don't need to act like a gazelle that just got tased. It's grating, and it's just unnecessary. We all realize there's an abundance of shock factor with many artists today (OF obviously included), there's controversy and shit to stir up, but there's also the fact that we'll never really know for sure if what most of OF does (or any celebrity, for that matter) is for the publicity, for genuine reasons, or just for the lawlz. Personally, without endorsing compartmentalization, I think human beings weren't meant to emote and analyze their ennui or social environment so much, but then again I realize not everyone is going to feel that way. Point is: it would behoove most people to not laud OF too much. They're relevant to some, but they're not revolutionary.
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March 17, 2014 on Tyler, The Creator Arrested For Inciting A Riot At SXSW
She looks like Jean-Ralphio's sister with a little less abrasive Bjork qualities to her voice. And maybe some of that girl from The Knife. And the one from The Exorcist. Okay, I'm just being a dick. I'm not really into it, but she's having fun and she "is only sixteen". Let's stop peeing on her party bus.
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October 4, 2013 on Watch Lorde Play Fallon
There is no defending this "heckler"—and I'm basing this judgment off of basic human etiquette. It can be fun to pretend that sometimes the obvious guilty party isn't at fault, due to the sugary notion that "sometimes people (re: fans) say asinine things out of genuine concern." And yeah, maybe sometimes they do. But voicing these things at the performer's FUCKING SHOW makes you void of common sense. My money is on the fact that it wasn't genuine concern, and this woman—like many people who blurt things veiled as "worry"—just wanted her megaphone for 5 seconds. And as for Fiona's reaction, her emotional response is her emotional response. It clearly inhabits her music, and I personally love her for that. Maybe she's mentally frail, and personally, I would've just thrown up a finger and continued on with the set, but people get too wound up in this bullshit. The audience member was being a boisterous idiot that—more than likely—had an alcoholic catalyst, and Fiona's response is what it is. Let it be done.
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October 4, 2013 on Fiona Apple & Blake Mills @ Newmark Theatre, Portland 10/3/13