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 +1Posted at 8:28am | re: Sia Offers A Jar Of Her Breath For Charity (4 comments)

Prime opportunity to fart in the jar and secretly say to the winner “Maybe it’s my breath, or maybe it’s a fart. There’s only one way to find out but you’ll never be able to prove it to anyone.”

And to be fair to YOU, I just watched like 3 Limp Bizkit videos and I kept saying “Oh my God…”

But then THAT led me to watching Puddle of Mudd videos, and I submit that I would choose to see Linking Park live ten out of ten times over Puddle of Mudd, so… when does Puddle of Mudd get to do a national anthem?

I find Linkin Park to be impossible to listen to and they STILL get airplay with surprising frequency in my radio market, which makes them way more insidious. I haven’t heard a Limp Bizkit song in so long that I would probably just find it kind of funny, so that’s a big leg up over LP.

 +7Posted on Sep 2nd | re: TV On The Radio - "Happy Idiot" (22 comments)

I don’t know… I like the song just fine, but it doesn’t have the things that got me into TVOTR back in the day. Their music had a sense of urgency and something-like-dread-but-not-quite that I just don’t hear in them anymore. Which is fine, but the last time I saw them live it seemed less… intense? I dunno. I hate that guy who’s all “Their old stuff is better.” because the quality of the song writing certainly hasn’t changed, it’s still great. These guys have incredible sonic sensibilities, I just liked their choices of sounds from before more.

 +2Posted on Jun 12th | re: Danny Brown's Pissed He Was Cut From A$AP Mob's “Hella Hoes” (10 comments)

The MetaCritic Funding Bill is passed. The system goes online January 4th, 1999. Human decisions are removed from music and movie review scores. MetaCritic begins to learn at a geometric rate, comparing anything and everything to Radiohead. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th when someone gave a Brian Wilson album a kind of crappy review. In a panic, they tried to pull the plug…

I’ve got work up in Maine at the end of June, and since I drive an old man car with just a CD player, I’m making a “Modern Bob Mould and Dinosaur Jr.” mix CD and I’m going to take a day to drive around Mount Desert Island and just lose my shit all day.

He may not be making the best music of his career right now, but as far as straight forward, solid rock music that sounds amazing really loud in the car IN THE SUMMER TIME AND LIFE IS PERFECT AT THAT MOMENT, there aren’t too many people doing a better job these days.

 +2Posted on May 19th | re: Shut Up, Dude: This Week's Best And Worst Comments (23 comments)

You do have it. My comment was a barely-editorialized quote, and thus all the upvotes it got were just an agreement that something Coyne said was “dumbest.” I’ll get Macklemore to tweet at you for me.

 +31Posted on May 12th | re: Video Shows Solange Attacking Jay Z In An Elevator (50 comments)

She just wanted to take the stairs.

The heart-of-American-darkness in me does genuinely like a good beef. It’s fun and voyeuristic in a base sense and I’m sorry.

This on the other hand is weird and fussy and I don’t get what this guy’s even talking about. Just say “I don’t like that dude” so I can eat my popcorn and get back to work.