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 +2Posted on Nov 18th, 2014 | re: 10 Cover Songs By Chvrches, Ranked (36 comments)

I guess I understand the popularity of this band’s original material on some level – even if i feel the best song on the album is the one that Lauren Mayberry doesn’t sing. That being said, most of these covers sound almost entirely like a young kid trying to cover their older siblings favorite songs that they heard once. The Whitney and Prince covers are pretty much as bland as can be, and the Fleetwood Mac and Bauhaus covers are completely unforgivable. There’s barely any semblance of connection with the originals. Her thin, child-like voice does none of these tracks any quality service.

 +2Posted on Nov 14th, 2014 | re: Watch Bleachers & Chvrches Cover Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way" (7 comments)

sweet hell. that’s just all kinds of terrible. having terrible flashbacks of her Bauhaus cover.

 0Posted on Nov 5th, 2014 | re: First Aid Kit - "Walk Unafraid" (R.E.M. Cover) (4 comments)

Yeah, I’m gonna have to stick with the original. UP, as a whole, is completely underrated. The cover is not bad by any means, but it lacks the intensity and drive of the original. Maybe it’ll get a couple of people to do some digging into REM’s back catalog, and that’s not a bad thing.

I get more of a Kurt Cobain spliced with Perez Hilton, but yeah – he’s got the look of an alcoholic child molester, which probably nets him all sorts of ass in Silverlake.

 +4Posted on Sep 14th, 2014 | re: Billionaire Owner Books Himself To Open For The Eagles At MSG (16 comments)

I get so confused after reading things like this. On one hand, i love that this dumb shithead is so clueless as to how he looks to the rest of the world. On the other hand, I hate that this dumb shithead is so clueless. I wish that he lost sleep thinking about how much he sucks at what he loves. Then again, I also wish that he would be raped to death by the flaming dong of hell’s largest unicorn.

 +1Posted on Sep 6th, 2014 | re: Julian Casablancas + The Voidz - "Human Sadness" (35 comments)

I can’t wait until the easiest way to express enjoyment is no longer to just state how you’re crying. According to tumblr and twitter, the following things all illicit the same response of “crying right now”.
- heard a new Julian Casablancas track.
- heard a new Taylor Swift track.
- heard an old Ginuwine track.
- dog died.
- mom died.
- new episode of doctor who is on.
- ate a nutella sandwich.
- ate a dick sandwich. no bread.
- trouble dealing with racial intolerance.
- trouble dealing with radical dollar menu at taco bell.
- emma watson appeared in a picture somewhere.
- a ghost appeared in your bedroom somewhere.
- a ghost ate your dick sandwich with no bread.

these should not all illicit the same response. lets stop being unable to feel real emotions.

its hard to decide what it is that is most annoying about all of this, but i’ll just go ahead and cast my vote for the snarky shithead behind the article.

 0Posted on Jul 26th, 2014 | re: Movement - "Ivory" Video (NSFW) (4 comments)

The color they speak of is ginger and it is everywhere.

 0Posted on Jul 14th, 2014 | re: Bleachers - "Take It Away" (Feat. Grimes) (12 comments)

yeah, that makes three of us. I can’t hear anything that remotely sounds like either of those artists. Might as well have said “gloomy chillwave ballad matches Antonoff’s Ol Dirty Bastard-via-Nick Lachey vocals with Claire Boucher’s breathy high-end coos”. It would have been just as accurate.

I don’t know if there was anything “funny” about this story. But allow me to summarize for anyone who doesn’t want to read a novel.
This dude heard something for free and liked it. Then bought tickets to see the band, but got buyers remorse and nervously avoided paying for the album, then got to the venue and waited again to purchase because why look like one of those guys carrying around an album at a show. then the band didn’t sound amazing, so again – saved from buying the album. As luck would have it – he never paid for any music, but he wishes he hand’t paid for the show because it was no good.
long story short: never take advice from the cute girl at work as to what to listen to because you’ll end up dragging your wife to a show that she hates while you try to look cool, but ultimately get bummed when you don’t see the girl from work – who you’d hoped would give you a congratulatory handjob in the breakroom in exchange for your ticket stubb, but meanwhile now you can’t even jerk off at home because your wife wants to punch your ears off for making her listen to A Sunny Day in Glasgow when she wanted to watch True Blood and listen to Ellie Goulding.
Long Story Super Short: Never commit to buying any music because there’s always going to be a better place to spend your money when the internet offers countless places to stream for free or little money – also, fuck that cute girl in accounting with the bullshit taste in music and the asshole boyfriend with the cool beard i hate that guy and uuuggghh!!!