otis-anne

Comments from otis-anne

Did I just get Mervyn's rolled? Now I feel dirty. And cheap. And poorly lit.
+8 |
May 8, 2009 on Sacha Baron Cohen Injured His Asshole
As an ad for Schweppes, it works. Schweppes is only good as a mixer, and watching that did make me want to drink. Heavily.
+5 |
May 6, 2009 on Nicole Kidman’s Schweppes Commercial: What Did You Expect?
"Seattle hazza besht delusional peeble!" Yes. Usually, that statement would give me a little flutter of hometown pride. I'm just not sure what the word "delusional" means when Paula Abdul says it.
0 |
May 6, 2009 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: Paula Abdul Is Addicted To Drugs
The production quality of this video suggests that it might be the first one they've made that doesn't contain multiple references to "soup" and "the thing that Einstein couldn't find".
+5 |
May 5, 2009 on This Is Your Production Company: Candle Eye Productions
I'm not sure this is a good time for people who are famous for one thing (acting, singing, having breasts, whatever) to display their talents at doing something else. Joaquin Phoenix and Denise Richards have set the bar pretty high.
+7 |
May 5, 2009 on Christina Aguilera To Focus On Ruining Movies Now
I hope they are teaching these stories to children in bible school. I don't know what craft project they would have the kids make to illustrate and reinforce the lesson about the oozing groin-sore, but I bet it would blow all of those popsicle-stick crosses out of the water.
+5 |
May 5, 2009 on The Almighty Cleanse: The Grossest Christian Infomercial Ever
I hope that my comment hasn't been construed as Alaska hate, because it's one of my favorite places in the world. My comment about Alaskans was based on my experiences during the year I spent waiting tables in a tiny fishing town there (road trip mishap), so I guess I should't assume that I know anything about the rest of the state. I definitely don't know anything about the majority of Alaskan voters, who elected Sarah Palin as Governor. The Mayor of the town that I lived in was the greatest, and he had only one name (no surname) and didn't wear shoes. Ever. I met two people in one week who claimed to have had multiple encounters with extraterrestrials. Alaska's huge fun. The taxidermy *everywhere* does take some getting used to.
0 |
May 3, 2009 on Sarah Palin For President Of Motorocycles
You're putting porn in our eyes! That is why I love you. Chock-full o' porny goodness.
+3 |
May 2, 2009 on Friday Fight: Who Has The Bigger Penis: McG Or Michael Bay?
Please, please can't Sarah Palin be interviewed by a sack of potatoes? Or wait - Sarah Palin interviewed by Paula Abdul. I have a new dream. By the way, all that "Alaskans are so proud of their 50yrs of statehood!" crap is an attempt to cover up that fact that most Alaskans refer to the lower 48 as "outside" and acknowledge the existence of the federal government only in contexts like "I sure hope my tinfoil hat can keep them from stealing my brainwaves.". A shockingly large percentage of the population lives there specifically because they are *hiding* from the government.
+1 |
May 1, 2009 on Sarah Palin For President Of Motorocycles
Uh-uh. Nope. That was definitely Ghallager who appeared to her on her cheese toast.
+1 |
April 26, 2009 on People Seeing Jesus In Stupid Shit Will Never Not Be Funny
Is tasing a thing? Maybe not as forplay, but ... I'm thinkng this has to be a thing. Although, naked wizard guy may have ruined it for a lot of people.
+1 |
April 26, 2009 on Friday Fight: Is Everyone On YouTube A Pervert?
Fantasies of naked people. That makes me want to cry. I guess maybe you could claim a banality fetish, but as a perversion? FAIL. You don't have to go straight to the Femskins, you can start slow with toe-sucking or bearded cheerleaders or something. Anything, please. Naked people. It's just so sad.
0 |
April 26, 2009 on Friday Fight: Is Everyone On YouTube A Pervert?
At 1:25 it looked like he was about to give that guy a lap dance. I feel a little bit cheated.
+2 |
April 20, 2009 on In Russia, Homework Procrastinates On You!
We can choose to get something positive out of this story - let it inspire change. Clearly we, as a nation, must come together to sell Bill O'Reilly and by ourselves a fake sheik. How fun would that be?
+5 |
April 20, 2009 on The Girl From Slumdog Millionaire Maybe But Probably Not For Sale
Does anybody know how long this movie is? Is it somewhere around, say, 14hrs long? I'm just wondering if the person who wrote the description also wrote the screenplay. The Terror would commence at roughly hour 13.25.
+3 |
April 20, 2009 on The Best Description Of A Horror Movie Ever
I want someone to do this wearing Femskins.
+1 |
April 18, 2009 on The Xylofolks Make Begging Look Fun
Is there a way to edit comments after they are posted? I just noticed that 1.Videogum is not a place to compete for humanitarian awards. 2. I'm kind of an asshat.
+4 |
April 18, 2009 on This Guy Isn’t The Only One Who’s Painfully Confused
I spend a lot of time around people with autism and Asperger's, and I agree that this guy is clearly on the spectrum. As for the apparently homophobic message...meh. Someone told him "don't be gay" was one of the rules and he remembers it. Probably word for word.. During the holidays, my son (high-functioning autistic) subjects innocent shoppers to long diatribes about the evils of encouraging Santa Claus (Santa spys on you and then breaks into your house while you're asleep- why does everyone act like this is okay?!). Most people have at least a little sense of what's going on and cut my boy some slack. Very few peple are complete asshats. But this guy lives in a world of consequences Thank you Gabe, for pointing that out.
+10 |
April 17, 2009 on This Guy Isn’t The Only One Who’s Painfully Confused
17 films, one summary. Grapes Of Wrath, Cannery Row, Of Mice and Men, all 14 other films based on works by John Steinbeck: Everyone was poor and miserable, then they died.
+11 |
April 16, 2009 on Best New Party Game 2
Forrest Gump: Disabled mama's boy embodies/spouts every smarmy platitude ever printed on a mug. Baby Boomers collectively c*m in their pants.
-1 |
April 16, 2009 on Best New Party Game 2
Forrest Gump: Disabled mama's boy embodies/spouts every smarmy platitude ever printed on a mug. Baby Boomers collectively c*m in their pants.
-1 |
April 16, 2009 on Best New Party Game 2
A great example of everything that opening credits should be. This is a show about asshats humiliating themselves, their families and everyone who knows them, and us as a society. We respond to their wretched, pitiful squeals of "Lookit me! Lookie what I can do!" by watching and paying them to keep doing it. It's all kind of sad and icky and desperate, and if anyone involved had the self-awareness of a sea-monkey they would just crumble with shame. All of this is expressed quite succinctly in these opening credits. Nice job.
+12 |
April 13, 2009 on The Real World/Road Rules Duel 2 Opening Credits Must Be Seen 2 Be Believed
Next week, they give him MDMA and he tells the viewers how he his simultaneously missing and not not thinking about Charlie.
0 |
April 10, 2009 on The Doctors Are Literally Getting People High
I'm pretty sure this is a clip from Rock Of Love Bus, with the background screeching cut out.
+14 |
April 6, 2009 on That’s Your Nightmare: Femskins
Does Gary Busey Twitter? I would definitely turn to him in my hour of need. He wouldn't foist me off on 911, he'd save me all by himself. My dramatically staged rescue would involve Psychic Angel Messages and the yelling of really long acronyms and some sort of ceremony in which I'd be slathered with Vick's Vaporub. I bet he'd even wear a cape. Demi and her lame Emergency Services.
+3 |
April 6, 2009 on Friday Fight: Demi Moore: Who Twitters The Twittermen?
It IS just like I always dreamed! This video is the perfect alternative to the instantly regrettable real-life Angsty Bad-Boy Boyfriend. You get all of the incredulity, horrified delight and sense of superiority of watching this big handsome testosterone-addled toddler throw a tantrum, without having to lend him money or listen to those excruciating monologues about how he's never felt really accepted by his father. It won'tt even leave a lingering vomit-odor in your car. I pretty much love it.
+8 |
April 4, 2009 on Watch James Franco Destroy A Bedroom For 32 Minutes (Or 50 Seconds)
Clearly, she's just in a really good place. I think it's safe to assume that once she had finished making that video, she spent the remainder of her time in that Really Good Place (approximately 6-7hrs is my guess) staring at the reflection of the profoundly beautiful miracles that are her Junior Mint sized pupils, drinking gallons of water, and eventually embarking on a 2-3hr. quest to obtain a box of Junior Mints (because mint is such a beautiful flavor and wouldn't it be amazing to have some right then) which she will not be able to eat because chewing will feel too weird. There were probably some embarrassing phone calls too. Just a guess. She is beautiful.
+10 |
April 1, 2009 on This Is A Secret Message To Charlie: Run!
Clearly, Kanye IS YOUR BOYFRIEND! Which is sad for me because after reading that, I am now completely in love with him. My new dream is to see Kanye team up with Gary Busey for some kind of reality-show life-coaching gig, where they can run around dispensing wisdom and guidance...and makeovers.
+1 |
February 17, 2009 on Kanye West Threatens Lil Wayne’s Title Of “Most Craziest”