Guy yelling DON'T LEAVE ME DON'T LEAVE ME BLA BLA I for 5 minutes 50 feet from the window does not get the attention of the zombies
Shooting your gun 50 feet from the window does not get the attention of the zombies
Having a fight and screaming at each other RIGHT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW does not get the attention of the zombies
NOW I KNOW WHAT DOES NOT GET THE ATTENTION OF ZOMBIES
OKAY THANKS
1 So, hmmm, a modern farm has no MACHINERY THAT CAN DIG HOLES. Wait, hmmmm LOOK THERE'S A F*CKING TRACTOR 30 FEET AWAY FROM WHERE YOU'RE DIGGING
2 So, hmm, they just dug 3 graves and the ground around the holes is METICULOUS AND GRASSY. (look at the photo again.) Never in the history of hole digging has diigin been done so surgically.
3. Hey everyone when you're digging the hole, make sure you throw the dirt into ONE PILE, OKAY. We need it in one pile even if you're the poor sucker digging that far away grave. It's going to start hurting real bad the more dirt your throw so far away, but it is crucial that we have ALL THE DIRT IN ONE PILE.
4 Hey everyone just to make the digging even easier, let's put the corpses right beside where you're digging just so you remember what has to go into the holes. Great.
5 Hey let's bury our people on Herschel's land without asking his permission.
Now that the barn is empty, they can build a bright and cheery baby room for Baby Shane.
No, Baby Rick.
I mean RickShane.
No, wait - I mean Shrick.
Hold on - Rane.
Yes. Baby Rane.
WAIT OMG SHE'S HAVING TWINS CONCEIVED WEEKS APART SOMEHOW.
Why didn't Shane say "hey everybody here are your guns Dale tried to throw them in a creek!"
Why is Glen incapable of washing his own f'ing hat? I got egg in it - oh well, can't wear it again - it's broken.
So zombies find live person = eat eat eat
Zombies stumble through traffic jam where there are dozens of dead people in their cars = not hungry?
It's only considered food to them if it's live?
Riiiiiiiiiiiidiculous*
*totally unsurprising
So many goddamn episodes had passed under the zombie bridge that when Sophia came out of the barn I said WHO THE F IS THAT I DO NOT RECOGNIZE HER but first I said what the f is wrong with that zombie did she not hear the other zombies getting shot and why didn't she get all zombie worked up too? Oh wait - she was limping - she had a broken zombie ankle or something and was having a hard time dealing with the zombie pain she wasn't feeling. And THEN I said omg it's Sophia with not much decay at all I guess her agent said not too much gross zombie makeup my client thinks it's ooky.
The Ammo Wasting Society of Idiots meets far out in a clearing in the woods, all firing at the same time so that neither Shane nor Grimes can efficiently/adequately assess people's progress.
And the AWSOI's Handbook also stipulates that members line up about 20 feet from the woods so that a zombie can easily walk up and chomp on someone's head from behind without much trouble.
"Hello. I am (was) that zombie in the drug store. So you're probably wondering why, when that nervous Asian guy with the erection and the jerky farm girl came in and were about 15 feet from me, I didn't smell them. Well, I can explain. I lost my sense of smell in 1988 when Hershel and his lady friend and I were freebasing horse tranquilizers."
"Hello, I'm Carol, the lady who is still missing her daughter. I don't ever volunteer or demand to help to look for her. I don't show up at the truck hood to even look at the map the guys look at before they head out every day. To look for my daughter."
"Hello. I'm one of the farm ladies. You're probably wondering why I entered the festering stenchy zombie barn to feed them the chickens and had no reaction whatsoever to the horrific smell. I even stood there and looked down longingly at my friends and family and my nose never twitched, while Glenn fought off puking with every fibre of his being. Well, I can explain that. I lost my sense of smell in 1988 when Hershel and I were freebasing horse tranquilizers."
Lasso around feet, carry upside down, lower them down into the pit?
Horse tranquilizers?
G20 riot police plastic hand tie handcuff thingies?
Planet of the Apes nets?
OMG we are fleeing a city overrun by zombies!
Grab everything we can stuff into our car!
DRIVE FASTER! FASTER! LET'S GET FAR FAR AWAY FROM THEM!
Oh, wait. There seems to be a traffic snarl up ahead.
I guess we'll just stop the car.
Hmmm. Been 30 minutes and we haven't moved an inch.
Maybe we should get out socialize and calmly talk about stuff but NOT THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE WE'RE FLEEING and stand beside our cars on the SHOULDER OF THE ROAD WE COULD ALL BE FU*KING DRIVING ON
So anyways, nobody is panicking or looking behind them down the road to see if any zombies are coming, so how about we leave my son here with these complete strangers and walk up who knows how far to the traffic snarl. Yeah, I know zombies could be right behind us but let's leave my son here anyways. I'm sure he'll be fine.
STEVE - I'm just guessing. I've never read the comic. I'm just trying to project more dumb plot twists and people making stupid decision after stupid decision.
They like to leaves supplies where they are so they have to make many, many dangerous trips over time to get them - like going to the pharmacy over and over instead of clearing it out in 1 or 2 trips WEEKS AGO.
And why don't they use a strong vehicle to tow/push/pull vehicles out of they way so they can drive on down the highway? THE KEYS ARE ALL IN THE IGNITION, PEOPLE.
"Let's try to get a noose around the rotted flesh and bones of the neck of a 250+ pound zombie and lift his squirming kicking screaming body up out of the well. Surely his head won't come off"
"Hi I'm Darryl. I like to walk through the zombie woods with a crossbow strapped to my back instead of armed and in my arms ready to shoot at zombies."
And Herschel will need food to keep his zombie relatives alive in the barn, so he's gonna make sure Grimes and COo ain't got guns, and then pull guns on them and feed them to the zombies.
1 or 2 characters will die before a valiant rescue/escape plan is executed when Maggie switches allegiances and sides with Grimes Inc. and off they go to the next boring episode where nothing happens.
Yep. Some uncles, aunts, and little Jimmy the paper boy are somehow chained up in the barn while the humans pray for a cure. But they have to feed the zombies something.
But WHEW! Thank goodness Grimes nor anybody else saw anybody carrying food out to the barn! Wait - that will be next week. Even though they've been at the farm for days and days and days and - never mind.
And thank goodness at night the zombies are considerate enough to not make noise that will drift over to the TENT CITY erected 100 yards away. They are so considerate.
"I have a perfectly good barn but you people should sleep outside in your tents."
"There are zombies around but I don't like guns so don't have guns on my property. Even though there are zombies around."
"Let's go to the pharmacy in town AGAIN since we were too lazy and/or stupid to CLEAN IT OUT OF EVERYTHING WE MIGHT HAVE EVER NEEDED the first few trips we went to the pharmacy."
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