I know something Rip Torn doesn't. Garbonzo's going down in the third quarter. The cutest fix ever is in Rip, and this, like many, many others, is not your day.
It's closer than you think. Most people know Phoenix from that Cadillac commercial, and according to The Jersey Shore, this particular brand of Italians like Cadillacs a lot for some reason, so there ya go. Solved.
I hear he's going to form a rap group with John Malkovich and Alan Rickman called Afterschool .38 Special. And I'm preemtively downvoting this because I'm ashamed this thought entered my head.
I would like to go on a date with the O'Riely Factor Body Language Analysis Girl but I'd be so unbelieveably self conscious, like "Wait, I just asked you to pass the salt, that wasn't a power gesture or anything just so you know..."
I kind of want to apply for the role of Frank just to hear them tell me "you don't look Native American enough" in the quest for the strangest afternoon I've ever had.
That nobody focused on this today signals the end of an era of cynicism and the beginning of the resurgence of casual optimism, jeans you can wear to bed, and what can only be described as a massive increase in the degree of perscription drug use per capita.
That's why I said he wrote it on an opposite day. Of course, having to explain it means I failed. Which is good to get all your failure out of the way for the day before 9AM. Is how I look at it.
Fun Musical Fact: Zack de la Rocha originally wrote "People of the Sun" about this kid, not the plight of the Chiapas people and the Zapatista revolution as is commonly believed, way back on an Opposite Day in 1992.
I think the History Channel pawned the remainder of its shows that were actually about history at that pawn shop in Vegas. Probably where they got the idea for that show. Actually, I kind of really like that show.
He had to read that off a piece of paper, which I'm positive must have stage directions: ..."with the pants on the ground. [in a smooth motion, hops to the right and with arm at mid waist, snaps, and fluidly shifts weight to the left and hops.] Thank you Mr. Speaker..."
Compliance is very important when you turn your private residence into a cat processing facility, and there's no way to be sure from the video but I'm pretty sure that staircase is not up to code.
That one was a little obscure. The aliens from the 1996 Charlie Sheen film "Arrival" had backwards bending knees. Commenting on videogum that might delight two, maybe three people is probably not a good strategy in such a large community. Sorry.
Yeah, what's with the unoriginality of titling? One thing you could count on in porn parodies was a creative title. Not even enough money for that in pornography anyomre? Stupid recession.
Dir Sir,
This is God. If you are to continue to spread the good news, I must insist that you take this holy gift of a prepaid Netflix subscription, and this golden list of essential pop culture milestones in television and film from the past 30 years, and don't host this program again until you have watched every single thing on the list. Understood?
Peace yo,
-God out
Sports Night was the one with the guy who went on to star in Six Feet Under, right? I remember liking it. That and News Radio. For mid-90's media related comedy shows.
Seth: "My first show is wildly successful. My next one, far, far less successful. My third one, even less successful than that. I DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ANYTHING, GIVE ME NUMBER FOUR MOTHERFUCKERS."
Fox Execs: "Well, he has a point. We are indeed motherfuckers. Green light! Now someone get me some cocaine to inject into my left nipple."
Sometimes you post things that I am very conflicted about in a lot of different ways. And of course the degree to which I'm conflicted is directly proportional to how real this is. In fact, if this clip had a graphic equalizer with sliders labled FUNNY, SAD, REAL, then REAL would be the preamp to the other two.
It's weird, without a laugh track and maybe not even a studio audience, how pedestrian the act of making a comedy show is. It's like an industrial process. Here's the script now hammer this out and ship it.
Congrats Lauren! Coolest possible internship.
I guess I could have tied the caption contest by downvoting arm426, but then I wouldn't be a monster, I'd be a dick. Nice work arm426!
Also, it was nice to see that so many people chose puppies over Palin this week. "Puppies Over Palin" is now the acting title for my new PAC and we will be accepting contributions as soon as I can get the website up.
I'm strangely thirsty for Lipton Iced Tea.
Yea, I watched Conan for the first time since he took over the Tonight Show and it was pretty funny. He had Ricky Gervais on and Bryce Dallas Howard. Maybe we've all just taken late night for granted, knowing full well the funniest bits are on the internet the next day.
Last year it was all about the Abe Vigoda dress up game. Kids and their fads. Also I want a fridge full of Ecto-cooler. I want to recreate the fridge from my childhood. Six pack of Mondo, bulk box of Ecto-cooler from the Price Club (Costco now!), couple of six packs of Tab for my parents (I got addicted to that stuff in high school), Sunny-D for my brother (I hated that shit. HATED it.)... wow, its going to be difficult to get some of this stuff I can tell already.
Conan gets set to catch one of Jay's famous punchlines, making sure to place it down gently next to the others as they are each as delicate as porcelain flowers.
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