Comments from Teev

I've not heard the others but I did know Frozen Donkey Wheel. How did I hear that one? Sepinwall, maybe. I know I got my favorite Lost term from Sepinwall and that is that the showrunners call the non-main cast survivors "socks." In the laundry machine that is each episode, a few socks always disappear. Eventually you have to fly in some new socks from Guam. Socks. Anyway, I vote for "Thousand Island Undressing," "Animatronic Zombie Pirates (shit! spoiler, sorry)" or "Jughead vs the Delorean."
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March 18, 2009 on Now You, Too, Can Create An Infuriating Lost Mystery
I know, right? I want this to be my wallpaper - way better than fishtank or fireplace.
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March 5, 2009 on Creepy Promo Demonstrates Toilet’s Amazing Flushing Technology
When you mentioned Sopranos and then also they gave each other that look and the fish was so annoying, I thought for sure that guy was going to drill that fish through the brain and shut it up for good.
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March 4, 2009 on Is This A McDonald’s Commercial Or A PETA Commercial?
I loved the piece in general, but it irked me that they actually said Keyser Soze during the looking at the bulletin board dropping the coffee cup part. Don't explain the jokes, Daily Show!
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February 25, 2009 on The Daily Show Reveals That Obama Is Keyser Sose
Commercial flights have 2 pilots in the cockpit - the Captain and the First Officer.
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February 20, 2009 on Lost: New Losties!
Where's Norm MacDonald? Dave did a good job but I would have loved to have Norm sitting in the other chair giving Joaquin a ration of shit. Norm, we need you!
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February 12, 2009 on Joaquin Phoenix On Letterman Made Joaquin Phoenix Interesting Again
He been had a nice house, too. I think this is a clip from MTV's new show "Walletz." A step up from last week's episode, when T.I. gave a tour of his prison wallet (shudder).
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February 4, 2009 on Been Had Money Guy Knows His Audience
Jokes on her, then, cuz that's the wrong boob.
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January 30, 2009 on Nip/Tuck Is Stupid
Jeff can't quiet the creative monkeys because they are all screaming while Fabio stuffs bananas in their asses and (over)cooks them (a delicious accompaniment to toast and bullshit eggs). Third monkey reference this season, which I suspect is foreshadowing for the finale which will be set in the Temple of Doom. Jeff would have lost anyway with his overly complicated "Monkey 12 Ways." Stefan will win with his deconstructed monkey (drink!)
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January 29, 2009 on Top Chef: It’s The Super Bowl, Not The Scallops Bowl
Hee, absolutely. He wants a house with floors! He's tired of stupid sand!
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January 29, 2009 on George The Physics Major Humiliates The American Idol Judges
It's the same one. She died her hair. And I'm betting this movie is less about acting and more about "preventing" and also probably "negotiating" as well as whatever you call it when you jab hooks in a guys legs to get information (24).
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January 28, 2009 on Maybe Taken Will Take Down Paul Blart This Weekend
Isn't the line between saint and sinner called being an average person? Or is it that most of us are plain old sinners and only a special few get to walk the line?
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January 26, 2009 on It’s Still Okay That Edie Falco’s New Show Looks Like House
That would explain why the beginning made me think of The Lost Boys
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January 15, 2009 on The Informers: Get Totally Psyched
This show is not set in this nation I think. "Meter-stick?" This is what happens in Canada. In the States the principal is all "Chuck, you need to quit raping girls and also put out that joint" and then Chuck orders some hookers and takeout for the principal to get him off his back. He still says "Have fun at dinner" as he leaves, though.
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January 15, 2009 on Kids Homoerotically Fuck With The Principal On TV The Darndest Things
Well of course it is silly and unecessary and all the money they spend to make it is not being spent on an original idea that might have been good but in the end, I don't know if it really ruins anything. The remake of Psycho didn't really hurt the classic Psycho, right? The original is still the one we think of (I think of) when someone says Psycho and it is still loved and considered a classic. And for every 100 stupid and pointless remakes we get a Battlestar Galactica or Carpenter's The Thing or Cronenberg's The Fly.
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January 14, 2009 on Hey Hollywood, How About You DON’T Remake East Of Eden
We don't really give our clothes collective nouns (stack? closetful?) like we do our animals. Why not start? A colony of socks, a jingle of pants, a collaboration of sweaters... who's with me?
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January 14, 2009 on M/F/K: The New Real Housewife Of New York
I thought maybe that tattoo was a hawk for his stupid band but the tail is wrong. If wish it had been a tattoo of Lincoln's head on a hawk body. Or a giant Brody Jenner style "Humphrey" on his torso. I can understand that shame-baby's parents would want to protect him from the horrible parenting of his bio-mom and bio-Rufus but shouldn't the kid be like 19 or older anyway? Isn't it too late to buy him back even if that were a thing that happens?
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January 13, 2009 on Gossip Girl: Blood Is More Of An Asshole Than Water
Ha that was wonderful. Are the rest of them all posted together somewhere?
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January 13, 2009 on Imagine A World In Which Viral Videos Weren’t All Gay Retards
I don't know if it's the accent or that she has bad comedic timing and rushed almost all her lines but she was sucky. That cleavage dress was pretty funny though. But really, Dinklage was great and will not be back and Hayak sucked and is returning. Poopy!
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January 9, 2009 on 30 Rock: Peter Dinklage Steals Salma Hayek’s Spotlight
What is up with Dan's wierd purple fingernail (in the kissing gif)? Is he wearing nail polish? Oxygen deprived (likely)? Is he some kind of stupid twilight vampire? Wait, that would explain why Rufus leaves the kids alone all the time - they may look like kids but really they are 200 years old.
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January 6, 2009 on Gossip Girl: Rufus Humphrey Is A Terrible Father
Well this looks horrible but it is kind of awesome that her mentor is the guy from Tampopo.
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January 5, 2009 on The Ramen Girl: Star Wars, But With Ramen
Mom, is that you? Why is your internet name Shane?
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December 17, 2008 on I Love You, Man Looks So Much Better Now
Or Swordfish, with Pee-Pants Jackman AND Junk-Thruster Travolta.
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December 16, 2008 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Perfect
I'm bored. And you've ruined my pants.
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December 15, 2008 on The Art Of Meeting Men
Ah ha ha! Lil' Ramsay kicks Lil' O'Reilly's ass just like Big Ramsay kicks Big O'Reilly's. That was awesome.
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December 15, 2008 on Kids Impersonate Gordon Ramsay The Darndest Things
Eww, those shorts! I don't want to think about Travolta's junk. But yay for getting me to imagine Will Farrell in the part. That helped make it better. I think Generation Kill disproves the article in Rolling Stone rule, but it is a TV show so maybe not?
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December 15, 2008 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Perfect
Dark path? The Doctor and the Jackass are both Vampires! It's win-win!
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December 4, 2008 on I Can’t Wait To Hate-Watch The Ugly Truth
Wow. The Hunt for the Worst Band of All Time is over before it begins.
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November 21, 2008 on This Is Your Music Video: Brokencyde “Freaxxx”