Not trying to troll, you guys. I think it's great that we monsters get a chance to take over the site. I sit silently and wish that I too might be grown up enough some day. But there's a difference between videogum's trademark snarkiness and this bleak world of half-hearted chuckles we've inherited. I'm torn between just wanting to be a supportive monster and seriously wanting to remind the rest of this week's guest bloggers that we come here, first and foremost, for the LAFFS.
See, this same thing happened to me when I was very young, but it was a poster of the big rubber suit Raphael from the Ninja Turtles movie and at night it's foot would move. To this day I am STILL CONVINCED THAT THE FUCKING THING WAS MOVING... I still regret ripping it down. What if it was a portal to the ninja turtles universe? But I digress...
I suppose all I'm really trying to say is.
http://a3.l3-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/139/2a2809e0e77b4020a7fa9e06f11d90ec/l.png
All I need to hear is high-concept Paul F. Tompkins comedy and I am SO ON BOARD. Seriously, I was just watching the episode of Community where he plays the gay nerd trying to pick up Abed in the bar. And I says to myself I says, "Why not more Paul F. Tompkins?"
Something deep inside of me tells me that, once upon a time, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas discovered a secret chaos theory-like algorithm to the perfect nerd film. Thus enabling them to drain trillions of dollars from unsuspecting nerds worldwide. I am almost certain now that they have shared this formula with J.J. Abrams... the whole thing makes me very uneasy.
I think this documentary is more about Person Man. Person man, who was hit on the head with a frying pan. Lives his life in a garbage can. Person man...
Real compelling stuff.
"Did you hear that Gwyneth Paltrow interrupted our 5th period geography class with a tone deaf rendition of a horrible Joan Jett song? It was crazy. They had to get a bunch of British butlers to hold her down and force feed her sedatives. They carried her away in a golden straight-jacket on a diamond encrusted stretcher."
"No I didn't hear about that. I was too busy getting high on robitussin and listening to Brokencyde. Also, who?"
"Good point. Let's go ghost-ride my dad's whip!"
I'm interested to see the whole thing. The quick cuts just make it seem like someone blasting a bunch of crazy from a shotgun. I really want to know the leap in logic between sphincters and the unwed mother rate and "joseph stalin said."
Just days before the video was finalized, I received some hesitant words from Mr. Boston:
"Wendy, do you think its stupid to do this now tho? Is it like yesterdays news?"
Our answer, of course, was an adamant meh? Probably, but we've spent this much time dicking around with your dumb ass and... Forget it Blake, it's memetown.
Oh man... If a graboid would've come out of the earth with Willow Smith on it's back rapping about Kevin Bacon and Reba McEntire and Michael Gross they would have immediately sold SO MANY ALBUMS to me and my stoner friends. Really their loss on the tens of dollars in that revenue stream when you think about it.
Are kids these days really into the whole 2 minute short film before a 2 minute song music video approach? I briefly thought I was watching a Michael Jackson video. I was expecting an Eddie Murphy cameo.
But seriously though. I expected the camera to flip around and big reveal Daniel Craig is M and he's lip-syncing her voice à la Michael Scarn in the end of Threat Level Midnight and we all have a chuckle and think a little bit... But then it goes all rape, rape, domestic abuse, dramatic wig removal.
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