My 11 year old niece, upon seeing a Jack and Jill ad on the side of a bus: I can't wait to see that!
Rara: But it looks so stupid and silly!
Niece: [incredulous look] Aunt Rara, I want to see it BECAUSE it looks stupid and silly.
So. There you have it?
I imagine this will show up in her Google Alerts she no doubt has set up for "Gwyneth, Moms, Rich, Gold Leaf, Coldplay Sucks" so I'll just leave this here:
Rara H. Internets
guineagreasemozarellaface@wop.com
Summary of Qualifications
Creative hair problem solver consistently able to exceed goals. Extensive "Country Strong" knowledge. Find 'Shallow Hal' to be actually pretty good. Coldplay is terrible.
Skills include:
-Using "cabeza" unironically in everyday speech
-Ability to suffer regular chicken instead of capon
-Fluent in MS Office Suite, Adobe Creative, $3000 espresso machines
I'm sorry, this already happened on the short lived ABC Family sitcom "Melissa and Joey". I am also so, so sorry that I had to make my suicide note so very public here on Videogum. Goodbye, cruel "Melissa and Joey"-less world.
I've never actually clicked on this particular feature before! Because it drowns my browser but it's my fault not anyone else's, for sure! Certainly my computer's fault at the very least! It's old! But the very first time I click on this feature it showcases some of the things I have found genuinely, completely horrifying in the past 30 or so years! Which is also no one's fault I guess! Only mine! Definitely my fault alone that, drowning browser and all, I couldn't even scroll past the Exorcist girl! Or "x" the tab once I saw the Grudge kid! That's nobody's fault but my own! (ok Beck!) This is all definitely fine with me and I will NOT be seeing some of you in chat at 3am EST because of my terrified sleeplessness! Just for the record, everyone! BOO! Hahaha DID I SCARE YOU?!?!?
I'm fine!
It is simply not yet the future. That's all. Not until cars fly. I want to dodge falling bodies as I eat Dippin' Dots, and then, THEN, I will toast to the future, which will be our present.
Well LilBobby, I only ask because I too look for this feature in a person. Below is the application for a chance at my friendship/romantic involvement/booty call possibility:
1) Check one: Alex Krycek - [ ] Like [ ] Dislike [ ] I'd Hit That
2) Complete this sentence to the best of your abilities: Samantha Mulder was ___________ a) Missing b) Abducted by Aliens c) Abducted by people and used for government experiments d) Fucking stupidly resolved in a ridiculous episode.
3) Deep Throat. (If this not make you giggle please proceed to Question 4)
4) Answer this question as True or False: "I Understand the term 'Screaming Pileggis'"
5) If you think the T-1000 made for some good X-Filesin', please place this questionnaire in the trash and proceed in a direction that is away from me.
6) Smoking Man, amirite?? (Y or N)
If you answered 3 or more of these questions to my satisfaction, I will be in touch. Good luck and always remember: Trust No One!
xo
Mrs. Rara "Foxy" Mulder
Well, I'd have to agree. He was certainly a looker in his day, and Schumacher has perhaps not chosen the most polite way to convey this, but as Kilmer ages I suppose it's not a completely unfair assessment to say that he's the.....
WHAT?! ...OH...I thought that said FAT man. Fuck THAT.
Just replying here so I can be all high up in the comments (THANKS HB.) But after like 4 years commenting I HAVE MADE IT TO THE BALL.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lieg5m5o0Y1qdrs89.gif
I HAVE SAVED THIS GIF. FOR 4. YEARS.
Sookie is a real name. So's Buffy! But Renee was proven to not actually be creole and his ghost speaks with the fake accent he affected for his long con. I...want more ire about this. Rewrites!
Gabe this is very dangerous stuff to be showing to people on a hot day! Everyone please drink a lot of water while you look at the pictures of Jon Snow's sliiightly unbuttoned shirt, and consider standing in front of a fan as you gaze at Drogo's leather pants. Check on your seniors, Emilia Clarke looks very nice!
The greatest trick Buffy ever played was convincing us she was...oh I don't know, let's go with... Dawson!
http://www.pajiba.com/assets_c/2011/03/dawson-crying-thumb-400x300-21422.jpeg
No no, it's not one vine, it's a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine within a vine I N C E P T I O N
One time I went to a wedding that was, like, a sports wedding. As in, it was held in the park and it was pretty much all "dress casual" but there was a weird mix of people in khakis and suit jackets and people in, like, Spreewell jerseys (that Spreewell, always popular) and I was sort of in between in like a beach dress and sneakers and... and it's just...it's just one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever been to and I'm kind of having a hard time articulating exactly how I felt about it and I'm so glad I killed and ate the boyfriend who brought me to that.
Anyway.
The moral of the story is Weddings are FORMAL!
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