Exactly.
I'm pretty banged up mentally about how I fit in with the music I listen to, writing about it, its people culture and the rest of you at this moment, rj. I might be taking everything too seriously today, but with April coming up, it feels like the one year anniversary since I had all my credibility taken away from me.
Indie and punk music culture is so weird. It's supposed to be a haven for all the kids who didn't fit in with the "cool" kids or the kids who just accepted whatever the media handed them, but I feel even more outside than that -- Like, not even accepted by the sub-culture.
Been going off the rails more so with my relationship with music and writing these past few days -- SXSW of course bringing that about.
Bah.
What's also kind of karmic is reading all of the writers on these big sites talking about how worn, torn and mentally exhausted they are from SXSW coverage, and how they're literally about to break down. I guess I wasn't given that same privilege when covering Coachella (for free with no swag or VIP or press passes in tow) for a certain site seeing that I am not on the same level as them.
I'm currently restricted from interacting with Tom on Twitter I discovered this week, in the midst of keeping tabs of SXSW coverage. I don't even follow the dude and never have. The extent of any interaction I've had with his Almighty was maybe a few tweets no different than how some of us criticize his traffic diving think pieces.
It's so insanely infuriating how inflated these writers' egos are.
In other news, all the major sites ignored the ferocious new Dillinger Escape Plan single, there was no comment party on the The 20 / 20 Experience (Personally, I'm not at all impressed or offended by it, but don't try to tell me that JT is some pop genius from this point on...) and The Boston Phoenix ceased publication yesterday, meaning Stereogum's weekend editor's schedule just opened up a whole lot more.
There ought to be a Deconstruction of SXSW from the outsider's perspective -- Bands / writers who didn't wind up in Austin because they couldn't for one reason or another. People figuring out how to use the filter of their tweet feed for the first time ever because it's suddenly taken on the self-important banality of a facebook news feed dominated by boring thoughts and photo uploads. Those in Austin currently thinks the world revolves around them. The world outside thinks nothing that's happening in Austin is actually all that important, safe for a few YouTube video uploads of new songs being debuted or Foxygen having a meltdown.
...I've decided to go back to this. I no longer want to fail balancing between being perceived as "just a music fan with a blog" by writers in spaces such as this and "someone who wants to write about music, and is more than just a casual listener" by the rest of you.
The time between when Amrit prodded this name to come out and reveal its identity as a DIY blogger and the present, in which I receive e-mails from Stereogum and Pitchfork writers politely criticizing me about what I am doing "wrong" and what they are doing "right" has been pretty miserable. I've surpassed having fun with my writing, but lack fulfillment because -- well, because of what Cole says above about the surrounding sites' characters ("Drunk corporate goons and other industry vampires and cocaine. Everyone is drunk, being cool.") kind of bullying the ones beneath them.
Indie music writing is like the equivalent of high school, except the jocks and cheerleaders wear glasses, hardly work out and use bigger words.
Round up the conclave, because the _ has stepped down from his music papal pulpit in attempt to return to normalcy.
You're going to have lay easy on the writers this week. Chances are Tom is posting this from a tablet and his head is probably a bit foggy from also covering all of the SXSW marathon showcases. It's as grueling a time for the brains of writers as it is the bands playing.
Listen up: The underscore is dead. Get on with it, and desecrate his grave. If you want to assess the damage, go write to Stereogum and see if they care. I'll save you some time and let you know that they don't. If we're going to go there, they treated the guest post hiccup more like a ratings draw circus on the comment section rather than taking a step back and wondering if they had actually messed up a real life opportunity for the kid (which it did) or his writing work thereafter (which it has.)
So yes, the underscore had a bad reaction to it all, but as much as no one wants to believe that what initially prompted it had an actual real life negative consequence, it did, and that's the messed up part. Millionaires don't care about paying it forward. They're too busy watching their millions I guess.
You know what's mean and unfair? Collectively beating down the same person week in and week out, for merely showing up and trying to move on. I think you're underscored friend got sick of constantly being bullied down even when he attempted to remain cool, considering. No one gave the kid a second chance even when he did his best to start anew. RubberJohnny got treated better in the long run even for being an openly homophobic and racist troll. Not to mention Team Stereogum never cared that a human who had put some honest effort and time out of their life / free time into helping them was actually out there in the real world, kind of pissed that they had seriously squandered another really good opportunity for him that would have otherwise changed things for the better in his life.
There is no starting over on this end. This is what you've made of it, so come to terms with it.
Oh and for its worth, your underscored kick ball has been offering up a crutch to this site for the past 7 years back when some dude named "jim" was writing the posts:
http://stereogum.com/2010/new_sun_kil_moon_ocean_breathes_salty/news/
Have fun pissing on his grave.
Nice job not respecting said-Stereogum's wishes not to mention his offspring, Corban. Is this your way of getting back at him for forcing you two write more than two sentences in a post during his absence?
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