How Much Diarrhea Does Sergeant Brody Have At All Times?

Have you been watching season 2 of Homeland? Ugh, did you even watch season 1 yet?! Come on, guys. Keep up. Season 2 is great! Actually, last week’s episode and the week before that were both kind of duds for me. There was this one episode with an interrogation scene that was a real real good episode, and then I kind of felt like it didn’t build off of or maintain the momentum of that one. But now it is back! Homeland! One thing I was thinking while watching last night’s episode, though, where Sergeant Brody is being torn apart by competing forces in this dangerous game of international terrorism was how the show really doesn’t address in any meaningful or realistic way how much diarrhea Sergeant Brody must have at all times. Some of us get diarrhea at the simple thought of having to call in the pizza order. WHY CAN’T YOU CALL? WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO CALL? THE GUY WHO ANSWERS THE PHONE IS WEIRD AND I ALWAYS HAVE TO REPEAT THE TOPPINGS AND HE ALWAYS GETS MY NAME WRONG AND SOMETIMES I GET NERVOUS! There is no way that Sergeant Brody, in way over his head, manipulated by forces way outside of his control, his family unraveling all around him, and the imminent threat of death or imprisonment around every turn isn’t just filled to the brim with explosive diarrhea. Oh, I’m sure the Vice President’s wife is trying her best to cover it up, but at some point it’s going to come out. (Gross.) Seriously, though, how much diarrhea does he have? So much. But how much?

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Poor Brody. Even if the government doesn’t get him and he somehow manages to escape Abu Nazir, the diarrhea will almost certainly start pouring out of his eyes and that can’t be good for you.