I’m In Love With A 12-Year-Old iPhone App Developer, Someone Call The Police!

A few months ago, Gabe shared a video from the TED conference that showed you how to tie your shoes like a genius, and he expressed a bit of confusion about what what the TED conference even is, and who even goes to it. The jury is STILL out on that question, along with this question that I’d like to add: When does it even happen? Always? Even when we’re sleeping, they’re awake and discussing ideas with each other in front of huge screens with powerpoint presentations on them? The world will never know! It’s a secret! SHHHHHH. Don’t even bring it up. But something that certainly is NO secret is that in October a tiny child gave a presentation at the TED conference about developing iPhone apps and it is the second cutest thing I’ve seen all day, and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Not only is he adorable like a normal child, but he’s also very smart and confident and good at public speaking and charming and my goodness! I’m not sure, at this point in my life, whether I should wish he were my own child OR that I were twelve and that he were my 12-year-old boyfriend. That classic “not a 12-year-old, not yet a mother” part of a lady’s life. (Though when I was 12 the only things I cared about were Nirvana, Eve6, guitar, Zac Hanson, A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, VERY large t-shirts, and the TV show Friends, so it’s possible that he wouldn’t be attainable for hand-holding and walking around the mall anyway.) Want to watch his presentation with me? Let’s watch his presentation!

You’re the best! You’re so smart! You have very good ideas about technology education and seem to be grateful enough of your seemingly quite privileged upbringing that has allowed you to get to this place in your very young life! Would you want to develop this app for me that I thought if that makes you solve puzzles when your alarm goes off, and the alarm doesn’t stop going off until you solve the puzzle? It’s a VERY good idea but I can’t find anyone to work with me on it and give me most of the profits. No one steal it, I’ve already mailed it to myself in an envelope! (Via Gawker.)