This Sherlock Holmes Tie-In Campaign Is So Bad That It Is Good

Hahahaha. Mystery solved! Incidentally, if you are having trouble reading the fine print, it says “Add a little custom intrigue with creamer, toppings, syrups and sweeteners. So fresh it will disappear without a trace.” Custom intrigue! Also, if you put “toppings” on your coffee, you should put toppings in your head (toppings=bullets). This is pretty great, though, if you judge greatness by how much it makes you laugh. The coffee disappears without a trace! Oh neat, detective stuff! From the Examiner:

7-Eleven coffee-drinkers who want to get hot on the trail of the challenge can get a head start with the co-branded “How Holmes Are You?” coffee cup sleeves. The sleeves contain a clue and Web address, which connects consumers to a unique 7-Eleven 221B microsite. Players who successfully complete a fingerprint matching game will earn an exclusive clue to help them solve the mystery afoot within the main 221B experience.

Just to clarify: players who use their coffee cup sleeve as a clue to solve a fingerprint matching game on a specially-branded 7-Eleven website will get an exclusive clue as to what is the larger mystery…of the specially-branded 7-Eleven website?! Perfect. Let me guess! Is the mystery that 7-Eleven is basically just a chain of gas stations that don’t actually sell gas? Did I “solve” it?! What do I win? Half-off a microwave burrito or whatever. One small Slurpo.

This ad might be even funnier:

Good work, 7-Eleven. You really “cracked” the “case” of taquitos and now they have been “put away” forever in people’s “stomachs.”

Excuse me, where are your clues? I’m starving and I want to eat garbage!