Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments

Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments

White Lotus‘ second season is :chef’s kiss:. I hope Tanya will be ok? No spoilers, but I’m on White Lotus TikTok so I have some good theories now. There hasn’t been a music peg for Stereogum to do a proper article about the show (don’t they listen to the Cramps in Sicily?) but here’s Meghann Fahy (Daphne) singing “O Holy Night.” Timely!


Score: 19 | Nov 28th

Kudos to her for doing this. She’s so charming here. If I were annually interviewed from ages 15-20 I’d demand they burn the footage and wipe the memories of the interviewers

Posted in: Billie Eilish Says She’s Listening To Cake In Sixth Annual Vanity Fair Interview
Logan Taylor
Score: 19 | Nov 30th

If I had to play a track to “sell” Usher to someone, this might be one I play. Not to say it’s his absolute best or classic work, but in four easy minutes you get the man that was driving your partner wild: that soft-hard vintage-contemporary R&B hybrid wanderkind. I agree with the 8!

One of my favorite vocal techniques is the dipping into falsetto and the was the first thing that grabbed me about the song. Additionally, I like when songs touch on the issue of indecisiveness because I’m often pretty indecisive myself (If you’ve ever watched The Good Place, I assure you I’m not as bad as Chidi!). My favorite instrumental touch might be the weird spacey synth keyboard thing going on in the spoken intro. Very ominous which might be fitting. Above all, Usher delivers a world-class vocal performance.

In other news…look what arrived the other day! Already into the second chapter and loving it.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Usher’s “Burn”
DJ Professor Dan
Score: 20 | Nov 30th

Meanwhile down at Da Club… Goldfrapp were having their first Number One with “Strict Machine”!

Is there anybody on the planet who doesn’t absolutely love “Strict Machine”? An electro-stomper with a thumping glam-rock beat, whilst Alison sings about being in love – bow-bow! – in love – bow-bow! – in love with a robot who appears to be into S&M, whilst sultrily murmuring in a way reminiscent of Donna Summer’s “I Feel Love” that she’s dressed in white noise. Actually, it’s apparently about laboratory rats, but Alison sings it so sexy that I think I can be forgiven for my mistake.

Following the mystical electro-folk with diversions into oompah music that was “Felt Mountain”, the quaintest album to ever feature a song about fascist babies, “Strict Machine” had something for everyone. And by everyone I mean rockers, clubbers, poptimists… nobody seemed able to resist.

“Strict Machine” is wonderful electric and it’s a 9.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Usher’s “Burn”
Score: 20 | Nov 25th
Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments
DJ Professor Dan
Score: 21 | Nov 28th

Meanwhile in Australia… Britney’s “Toxic” was at Number One. And rightfully so.

HERE IT IS! We’ve made it to the ultimate piece of pop of the decade, the definitive “how was this not a Number One on the Hot 100?” (the reasons apparently including it being released at the same time as the Super Bowl Janet/Justin–breast-baring incident which made MTV turn instinctively prudish… that’s just Justin for you, continuing to ruin Britney’s life.)

Britney is in one of her many toxic relationships and… Hmmm I just had a thought. Maybe “Toxic” is where the whole concept of “toxic relationships” and “toxic masculinity” came from, a la “Stan” and stans. Now I’m obsessed with knowing the answer. Does anybody know?

Anyway songs about being addicted to love were old hat (“Addicted To Love” is an 8), songs about love being a drug had been done (“Love Is The Drug” is a 9)… time to increase the stakes and make it something genuinely deadly!

Throw in a bit of bhangra, as was the style at the time – “Mundian To Bach Ke” aka “Beware of the Boys” having recently been a big hit – not to mention surf guitars – not especially in style at the time, but then again, whenever are they not? – and a whole lot of other sounds that make about as much sense together as the video, in other words, none at all. I mean, I tried to rip off my face to see if there was a much hotter face underneath, but no… there was just a skull!

“Toxic” is the taste of a poison paradise and it’s a 10.

Posted in: The Number Ones: Usher’s “Yeah!” (Feat. Lil Jon & Ludacris)
Score: 22 | Nov 26th

Happy post-Thanksgiving.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments
Score: 30 | Nov 28th

Thoughtful gift considering the amount of shit DJ Khaled produces

Posted in: Drake Bought DJ Khaled Four Toilets For His Birthday
you beautiful bastard.
Score: 31 |Nov 25th

So, uh, it looks like Bill Callahan is gonna have to be my new dad after all, because my actual dad passed away on Wednesday a couple hours after my brother had come in from Chicago for the holiday. My nephews and sister in law were at my parents’ house as Dad had a massive heart attack; he had a little smile on his face as he realized what was happening and dropped like a rock. My SiL had the sense to call me and I called Dad’s lawyer to find out if he had a DNR. My brother got back from the supermarket while the paramedics were there and showed them the DNR on his phone after the lawyer’s office emailed it to me.

The fucked up thing is that Dad’s body was on the kitchen floor for five hours. Covered, but still The paramedics didn’t have the decency to move him out of the way to his bedroom or the front room or something. I of course hurried down there to sit shiva with Mom and my brother until the funeral home came to pick up the body.

My brother commented that the whole thing was a little bit Coen Brothers and even said “‘sup, Pop?” to the body as he walked through the kitchen to get to the bathroom. Fortunately this was in SoCal because in the South the cockroaches would’ve shown up by then and it would have been something out of Erskine Caldwell. (My dad adored Southern Gothic literature and would have appreciated the irony.)

You never know when it’s gonna come. I’m gonna shout a request for BC to do “Lonesome Valley” at the show on Saturday. Dad had to walk that valley by himself, but his journey was short, and he did it surrounded by family. What more can anyone ask?

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments
Score: 32 | Nov 30th

The States Project always pops up. At least he did TWO of them!!

If Radiohead is so F’Ing great let me pose one simple question


Posted in: Sufjan Stevens Talks Beyoncé, The 50 States, And Why Christmas Is Actually Not His Favorite Holiday
Score: 75 | Nov 26th

He can’t even go electric on the pen without angering his fans

Posted in: Bob Dylan Addresses Controversy Over Books And Art Signed With Autopen


Callie Petch
Nov 26th

Welp, Scott’s begging in the newsletter* finally convinced me to sign up as a Member member with a yearly subscription and everything. So, hello, everybody! Five-year reader, first-time commenter! Dunno how often I’ll comment, but may as well use this bonus thing tied to ethical-no-ads thing I paid for!

*I’ve actually been planning to sign up around this time for the last few months, anyway, but I wanted Scott to know somebody reads his plugs in the newsletter. 😉

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best Comments

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