Ah crap. I'm tardy to the party game again! But it's 'cause I was up all night watching a movie marathon.
I think one of them was the one where Steven Seagal played the ex-special forces guy with a chip off his shoulder and a vague blend of martial arts abilities looking to get some revenge.
And then we followed that up with that Jim Carrey movie where his face goes all weird.
I think the last one we watched was that one that used to be an Asian horror movie, but it got remade and then it SUCKED GIANT ONES.
So you can understand why I was a bit slow on the uptake this morning...
Whew! I just jogged here from Sydney, and I have to tell you guys, I am so relieved that we are finally caught up to the same episode as all you LAternative Timeliners! I CAN FINALLY READ GABE'S RECAPS WITHOUT SPOILING EVERYTHING FOR MYSELF!!!! Yay!
So. Am I too late for the discussion? You guys? Hello? We're all still simultaneously reeling from the loss of Shannon, right? And how crazy was it when that polar bear showed up!?!?! I can't wait for Season 3 to start over here in Australia! I bet this show gets even CRAZIER...
Guys, I'm not sure why you're making this guy out to be a weirdo. I mean, WE all have Shia LaBeouf blow-up dolls in our rooms, right? Right?? You guys do that too, yeah? ... You guys?
See, I think that kind of makes him less of a joke, and provides some serious twists for Hit Girl's story arc. She would have had to deal with her dad's fantasy as opposed to her reality after his *spoiler*. She would have had to look back on it all and decide which way she wants to live, knowing that it was all Big Daddy's creation. And Big Daddy would be a lot more like what he is supposed to be - a kinda messed up fanboy who has both resources and psychoses in excess.
And the film would be a commentary on the 'reality' of superheroes – if this was in real life, wouldn't a masked vigilante have to be a deranged psychopath? It would lessen the glorification of the violence. Like in Kick-Ass' early battle scenes where he gets beaten to a pulp, it would follow through with the questions the movie asks – if you actually wanted to be a crime-fighting superhero, and mete out your own skewed version of justice, would it be as awesome as you think? Or would the price you pay make it not worth it?
I would have liked that side of it to be shown, because it would have changed the tone of the rest of the movie's violence. Making it less about the fun and frivolity of Hit Girl's rampages, and giving them a darker twist, because we would get to see her Daddy's issues.
Blah, blah, blah, I'm sure everyone gets it.
At the very least, I guess the movie made some of us think. And also YouTube was in it! And semi-naked girls getting massages!! And exploding men in microwaves!!!
I find it difficult to tell people whether I truly *liked* this movie or not. I settled for saying that I found it extremely *entertaining*.
Gabe, I like what you said about realizing you were being manipulated, because that is exactly how I felt about the movie (while simultaneously sitting next to a group of teenagers who did NOT feel exactly like this about the movie) in some of the action scenes and points in the characters' arcs.
I, like a lot of viewers, understood what the deal was – that 'Kick-Ass' was trying to satirize the comic book storyline, and the superhero origin, but I felt like the movie lost some of that focus, and just settled for jumping right into just being one of those stories itself. In the process of being commentary, it forgot some of what it was trying to say.
I liked Nicolas Cage (as much as anyone can like him. In a movie. Acting...), but I would have liked to see on screen what some of the Nerds are saying he was like in the comic. (Wait - is it a 'comic'? Or a 'graphic novel'?? Am I saying it wrong? I'm sorry, Nerds, I didn't know what I was doing! Spare me, please!) I felt like it would have been more of a statement on actual vigilante 'justice' being sort of unhinged, and that the people who go down that revenge spiral usually lose touch with reality, etc, etc. It seemed like that was only touched on, instead of exploring it fully. I thought that could have been quite a strong concept to explore, and what that meant for Hit Girl when she found herself facing harsh realities in tough situations down the track, without Big Daddy to save her....
Anyways. I would agree with both sides of the 'Hit Girl debate' (cause of how 'Hit Girl' is a debate now...). I felt a bit uncomfortable with some of her more violent scenes, and I will fully admit that it's because she was a kid, and I am more used to seeing full-grown adults do crazy stupid things like that on film, and getting away with it. And while she wasn't actually *spoiler* MAKING PEOPLE SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE HEAD *spoiler* in real life, she actually was using all those words, FOR REALZ. And I don't know. It just sort of felt weird to me. Having said that, Chloe Grace Moretz did it all with such charisma that I loved it all anyway.
So I enjoyed it, all up. It was very colourful and fun, with good splashes of humour, and some nice nods to, subtle digs at, and in-jokes about the superhero genre. But I did not like being manipulated into revelling in the violence of it, set to Bubblegum Pop, as Gabe mentioned. I have a tolerance for violence, mostly (I fully realise the hypocrisy of my love for the Kill Bill movies), but for the most part, I like my violence to mean something, or be for something. (Even *spoiler* Beatrix Kiddo *spoiler* had a pretty good reason for titular killing the titular Bill). But 'Kick-Ass' didn't really have that for me. It didn't dig deep enough into the concepts to balance out the joy with which the violence was depicted.
And when I looked around at the 8-to-12-year-old kids of the family in the next row from me in the cinema at the end of the film, and the enraptured fanboys gushing about all their favourite fight scenes, I did feel a little squeamish for all the people that didn't get what the movie was trying to be about. But who cares! Asses got kicked! Small girls got punched in the face but also stabbed people in the chest!! NICOLAS CAGE SHOT HIS DAUGHTER!!!! Those are all my favourite things and now they are in the same movie!
I don't know. I guess I should just let 'Kick-Ass' be great...
You guys! You don't even understand how timely this article is. Why, just last night I watched Steven Seagal vs. the Zombie/Vampires in the 2009 blockbuster "Against the Dark."
(You also won't even believe how truly awful this movie is. There's... there's just... there are no words.)
What's weird is that one minute, you're learning about an old, fat, awkward, soft-spoken, once-great martial artist sadistically abusing and degrading women of different nationalities in darkly-lit environments, and the VERY NEXT DAY he is being sued for a sex scandal. What a twist!
Holy crap, I didn't think there were other Aussies on here! And don't worry about the photo fail, Lizardo. You and I are just used to linking on the *other* side of the road, that's all...
I laugh a lot at this, 'cause I can still remember Pepper Ann's smokey-throated nasal voice, and I just use that in my head whenever I read your comments, making them even more. (If that's even possible?)
So thanks for that, Skinny Tie. We fucking love you, too.
Oh dear, Zzyzx. For unexplainable and slightly concerning reasons, I actually read this entire comment as a setup for a TWSS that never came. It is still very strange, but very hilarious to me to re-read this with overtones of sexual innuendo...
But I'm still not sure what the 'slamming' of the 'front door' is a euphenism for...
"Your performance has been reviewed by the board, and I'm sorry to say we won't be retaining your services anymore. We are letting you go, Cyberdyne Systems Model 101."
Oh dear. I logged in to add some titles to this hilarious/amazing suggestion, but all I came up with at first was 'The Beautiful Life' vs. 'Life is Beautiful', and gross – Mischa Barton and the Holocaust. Log it off.
I think my internet is broken, because I can't see all the comments that should be on here suggesting 'Season of the Witch.'?
Of course, I am writing to you from the Outback so it will cost me $2,700 to join you on the premiere date. But I figure, if Nicolas Cage (why is there no 'h' in his name, dammit? Does he think he's too good for- oh...) can commit 110% to just wearing the heck out of that many artifical, individually-threaded hairs in his wig, then we kinda owe it to him to show some reciprocity on our ends, by flocking to the theatres to see his latest masterpiece... (More like masterHAIRpieceamirite???)
But there was one thing Dr. Masterson didn't thought of. Maybe they weren't the Chaos Emeralds! Maybe they were something else, probably! But what could he stole...?
And I highly doubt that T-shizzle would be able to download his blog to videogum at that particular time, anyway, as he will be being escorted to his place aboard one of the Glover Survival Arks.
The essence of our civilization MUST be preserved. T-Grace for President 2013!
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