Finally, SOMEBODY is willing to take on the hipsters, our society's sacredest cows.
JK I watched this video twice in a row and it made me immensely happy both time. Tears were shed, lulz were luld. Hooray!
"her burns were so severe that she probably would not survive. After a 14-month hospital stay and 17 surgical procedures"
=
"the girl ended up ok"
We have very, very different definitions of the word "ok."
Yeah I'm gonna go with the shoes movie being the worst, just because at least the other gives us the pleasure of laughing at the hideous and uncanny airbrush job on Duhamel's abdominalz.
Was there a joke about the Culinary Institute of America? Because it would've been so great if somebody was like "Noooo, I meant the OTHER C.I.[gunshot]"
Heck, that's how I'm going to end every ARGUMENT ever. Unleash a torrent of swears, activate a giant inflatable slide, and disappear. So much better than just slamming a door.
I prefer my Haruki Murakami Adidas high tops. They're not great for dancing in, but they're great for starting conversations with quirky women in all-night diners, and also for walking through rifts in time and space into no-man's lands of the soul.
Pardon me, but I am an eccentric, elderly billionaire, and I would like to let you know that the initiative you've shown on this site has not gone unnoticed. I am hereby writing you into my will as the heir to my obscenely large fortune. As soon as I either (a) die or (b) fake my death in order to flee the bizarre satanic cult whose ruby-studded dagger I have stolen, you will receive notification from my lawyers explaining where you can pick up the oversized novelty check and the keys to my manse in the Berkshires.
Yeah, no, I know, I know. I mean I've played out just as many Silvestri scenarios around the Barbie hot tub as the next collector of limited edition Ken dolls. I guess I should have said he looks CRAZY hot when the soul has been sucked out of his body, chewed up, and then spit out into an oversized swagbag.
Oh shit, Max is kinda hot when he's a broken down hollowed out profoundly sad shell of a man!
HEY MAX, DID YOU HEAR ANDREW BREITBART HAS BEEN IN THE HEADLINES A LOT LATELY? HEY MAX, DID YOU HEAR BRISTOL & LEVI ARE SHOPPING A REALITY SHOW?
Okay now look at the camera.
PERFECT.
Yeah, yknow what, I'm gonna keep buying bar soap over here. If I want to smell fancy I'll put on some perfume, like a normal person. (I will continue to wear Old Spice deodorant, because it's good deodorant.)
Gabe, you are 100% correct. These books are not bad! But they are not great. Azkaban is a very good movie; the others that I've seen are just souvenirs for fans of the books.
hahahahaha it's that HAYYYY swerve of the bicycle that makes this gif into a gift. Well done, Obama's gay sensei! (The trailer was taken down before I got to it, so I'm extrapolating the entire plot of the movie from these five seconds of footage.)
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