Which star of a popular television series that answers the age-old question "what if Sex & the City was for boys?" was recently seen exiting the offices of Manhattan's hottest therapist? Not so scandalous, you say? Did we mention that the therapist practices without a licence and is also a dog? Looks like our star is barking up the wrong advice tree....
DID YOU TELL HIM I LOVE HIM AND SNATCH A LOCK OF HIS HAIR THE WAY I TOLD YOU TO WITH MY BRAINWAVES?
Such a crush, you guys. If I was a judge on American Idol, I would phrase it thusly:
"Gosling, he's just a'ight for me, you know? But Eisenberg, he's out there, just doing his thing and it really works for me, dawg."
Okay, so that photo of Rita Wilson? That is the most mom pose to ever mom in all of momdom. I can't make fun of this! MATER FAMILIAS-RELATED GUILT OVERPOWERS ME!
Right? I mean, yes, Jerry Seinfeld is grating and should be blamed for all the world's problems, from the housing bubble to my hair frizzing in the humidity, but this husband is just a prick. Also, going on a show to promote your spa business? What? "You know, i really should treat myself. A deep-tissue massage, get a nice ear candling...does anyone know a place? Oh, what's that? Those two awful people who chose to use a fledgling, comedically-themed tv show to air out their personal matters ALSO happen to own and operate a spa? TO THE BATMOBILE!"
Yeah, Gabe you should only be conflicted about this is the prosthetic legs were taken FROM someone and given to the dog. And even then, only be conflicted for like 2 minutes before the tidal wave of adorableness hits you. In conclusion, can someone please make little magnets that we can stick on this little guy's legs? Because how fun would that be?
Really? Because in all honesty I read it as a reference to the show and his identity as a participant therein. I don't think he was randomly calling a newly-dead young man a jackass for its own sake.
Do yourselves a favour and click on that link, if only to see the accompanying graphic. And then send me a fruit basket at my office to thank me for the heads-up. One of those good ones, like Edible Arrangements or something.
Hmm....I'm okay with my boyfriend being super-talented and sharing my political views, actually. But that Johanssen chick has GOT to stop calling at 3 in the morning and hanging up when I answer.
If I didn't know about the title of Gibson's upcoming film, I would be drafting a tersely-worded email to Gabe for tagging a post about domestic violence with "The Beaver"
I used to be uncomfortable with you guys mocking Chet Haze, what with the privileged child of celebrity millionaires truly being the lowest hanging fruit and all, and also in light of his half-brother and father being notoriously awesome but HOLY JESUS DO I GET IT NOW.
Damn you Chet Haze! How can the spawn of anyone involved in The 'Burbs* be so fucking lame? THAT GOES AGAINST NATURE.
*Oh, have you not seen that movie? Then I can't talk to you.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Winwood:
Your son Steven is displaying analytical skills in keeping with his age and grade level. He recently submitted a very good report on the movie-viewing experience. However, I find it curious that a fifth-grader would correctly use the world "preclude." I suspect that you helped him with the assignment. While we at Videogum Elementary do not discourage children from seeking guidance and assistance from their seniors, we want to ensure that such assistance is kept to a minimum, so that the child's true ability is allowed to blossom. Accordingly, I will have to give Steven a B-minus, but encourage him to keep trying.
-Mrs. S. Meowlkmus, Homeroom Teacher
People of Videogum:
You will watch "Dog Day Afternoon" and you will thank me and tell me how great a recommendation it was and how lucky you are to have me in your lives and I will nod sagely and take it all and demand yet more obeisance because I was the youngest born and need attention like everyone else needs oxygen.
Gabe, in the name of all that is pure and good in this world, please go all "Julie and Julia" with this and make a recipe a day/blog the results. I am willing to finance this project myself (if you'll accept cat hair and packets of Stevia in lieu of money)
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