Gwyneth's ACTUAL purse, which she has to shield from the eyes of the poors by hiding it inside a larger bag, as it induces blindness, dry mouth and carpal tunnel in denizens of the lower tax brackets.
Can we talk about how annoying James McAvoy was as Professor X? I guess when you are Patrick Stewart and old you have earned gravitas and respect, but as some Richie Rich grad student, his role as self-appointed cheerleader -slash- Bossypants was really really grating. Okay fine, he wrote a thesis and can read people's minds, sure. But I still feel like all the other mutants with legit superpowers were way too willing to let him call all the shots. Is it because he bought them the outfits and the planes?
Maybe when the X-es thought they were agreeing with all his plans, he was actually just controlling their minds, and also being like "by the way, I am a super fun guy and you also like hanging out with me, P.S. Mystique, think I am attractive so I can be douchey to you."
In conclusion, I was at least 30% glad when he got capped in the spine, and 110% glad that Logan told him to expletive.
James McAvoy can do no wrong. Exception to this rule: in this movie as Professor X. Not sure whether to blame him or the writing, but Professor X was kind of an annoying assface in this one, amirite?
Aw, me too! (re: shyness and hangover but not re: invisalign) It was fun trying to explain to my coworkers today that having a photo of one's self captioned with "Monsters!" was actually a compliment and not a Jersey Shore-esque diss.
What about Playing By Heart? Has anybody been campaigned for that piece of crap yet? To be honest, I don't remember it that well, but it was a go-to movie during late nineties slumber parties. IT definitely ends on a super awks conversation between Angelina Jolie and Ryan Phillippe (I don't want to spoil the actual wording, but it's hilarious), and also Jon Stewart "acting." And also, also, Sean Connery slumming it bigtime. Sean Connery and Jon Stewart in the same terrible movie!! There's potential here.
I don't really think it's unfair to draw the comparison, but it definitely would have been more appropriate for me to clarify that those two were just "rumored, never convicted," etc. I guess it would be better to mention Chris in the same breath with someone who admitted it, like John Lennon, or somebody where charges were dropped but the incident was well-documented, like Christian Slater v. his girlfriend and a few cops.
Still, as a matter of degree (though I dislike thinking about it that way) Sean Penn is rumored to have tied Madonna to a chair and hit her with a baseball bat. That might be less physically harmful than what happened to Rihanna, but if true, it's definitely in the same ballpark. Also, Sheen, Tom Sizemore and Penn are all like BFFs! It's as if they're begging me to jump to conclusions!
Still, I kind of want to retract my whole post, because I didn't know Chris Brown's album was soaring to #1 until today! Sounds like America is once again Totally Cool with Chris. USA, USA!
Word. And remember Sean Penn? Everybody's favorite volatile humanitarian who totally beat up Madonna, but she kept it quiet so he kept his career, and now he gets to bang ScarJo. And wasn't there some dramz with Josh Brolin and Diane Lane? And yet, he gets to hang out with the Coen Bros.
(Still, I do think Chris Brown has had a slightly harder time gaining America's Forgiveness than other those dudes because (a) the photographic evidence, and (b) ahem, dare I say it -- racial issues.)
If the Biebs really does get charged with inciting a riot, I have just the attorney for the case: Justin M. Bieber, Esq. http://www.justin-bieber-law.com/
This movie looks TOTALLY GOOD, but, post-college years? Like, immediately post-college? Cause Topher and Anna Faris are solidly 30s and both look it. This reminds me of last week when I went to an alumni thing and was talking to cute 22 year olds, until I realized that I wasn't having Real Fun because it was really Reliving Your Youth Is Exhilarating!! Fun, and I started to feel like Cougar Town and went home and put myself to bed because it was a work night.
Ahem. I took several deep breaths and calmed down, because I can be an adult about this, and the monsters will APPRECIATE Secret Balcony the way others will not. But nobody make a Facebook fan page or tell the rest of the internet or anything -- that would induce several reality show clip GIFs-worth of rage and lament.
Aaaugh, somebody forgot the First Rule of Union Square Secret Balcony is you don't talk about Union Square Secret Balcony! The greatest trick smart moviegoers ever pulled was convincing the world the secret balcony doesn't exist, etc.
I read somewhere that the whole CDC detour was a Darabont addition because like, they're already in Atlanta so might as well? So I assome the scientist whispered something along the lines of "this detour was totally useless and not at all relevant to the ongoing plot but at least you'll get a big season finale explosion out of it!" Because if you're not going write in a genuine cliffhanger, you might as well blow something up.
Now that Matthew McConaughey and Josh Lucas are in a movie together, it'll be all total protonic reversal and the world will implode, so make sure to say goodbye to all your loved ones. Also, apologies to "Lawrence Mason" but at first I thought Ja Rule was driving that Lincoln Lawyermobile. Total Ja face at 0:22.
Yes, it is so very the one with Dudley Moore. And John Lithgow as an evil candy mastermind! And SPARKLY PINK CANDY THAT MAKES YOU FLY. If this doesn't get picked for Worst Holiday Movie, I'm going to Amelie-style promote it for Worst Movie Ever Generally.
Santa Claus: The Movie. Two minutes ago, I'd forgotten this movie existed, but now fervently believe that Videogum recap of this movie is the only thing truly worth wanting in this cold, cruel world.
Yes, PLEASE Santa Claus: The Movie. I also nostalgically love this but despite not having seen it in years can remember so much content worthy of Gabe remarking upon: (a) every scene John Lithgow is in; (2) every scene in which a reindeer emotes; (d) the horribly miscast "lovable street punk" who looks exactly like the Hot Girl Turned Fake Dude from Just One of the Guys; (4) DUDLEY MOORE AS AN ELF, YOU GUYS!; (5) so very many elves; (6) "New York City in the eighties"; (7) magic candy that makes you FLY and is colored puce; (8) the fact that the word "puce" is used more times in this movie than anywhere in the English language.
Come on, it's SO WORTHY.
Oh horrors, Couples Retreat was unbearable. It was playing on a JetBlue screen like five inches from my face. I changed the channel after the first 10 minutes, but the rom-com fan next to me kept watching, and even SHE didn't laugh.
I'm transitioning from lurker to commenter because (500) whatevers was AWFUL. Whenever next round happens, did anybody nominate My Sister's Keeper? I admit not actually having seen the movie, but the Jodi Piccoult/Cameron Diazness of it all must be enough to make it to the finals, right? Right?
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