I met a guy who was a successful car thief in Germany. He quit when half of his foot got cut off by a winch. That story was better than this movie. Actually, no. Him TELLING ME that story was better than this movie.
I can't believe that no-one has yet pointed out the obvious connection to the Mayo Clinic. Dr William Mayo came from Salford, England. Salford served as the basis for some of the writings of Karl Marx, who of course inspired Lenin, whose name is very close to Lennon, as in John Lennon, who was an inspiration for Charlie on Lost.
Also, the Mayo Clinic was located in Rochester (Minn). Rochester was the name of the valet-chauffeur on the Jack Benny program. Note that Benny is a nickname for Benjamin. Jack Benny was famous as a penny-pincher. And just who is Benjamin Linus after? That's right. Penny.
So, clearly, the mayo on that sandwich proves that Hurley's father is working for Ben and Charlie.
Damn, those Lost writers are clever.
Haven't we reached the point where the reality shows are not a stepping stone to fame, but the sole source of the fame? Or at least steady work?
I mean, look at Dustin Diamond: he's been on at least 3 reality-type shows, and he can continue going on them for the foreseeable future. He's probably pulling down decent money, and doesn't seem at all troubled by how he appears, which is great, I guess...cause if you're a joke, but you don't know you're a joke, aren't you the happiest joke of all?
Nice thought, Gabe, but WRONG!
What we are dealing with is a group of highly intelligent people who have a thorough and detailed understanding of all the knowledge man has attained in the arts and sciences, combined with an ability to intricately weave these concepts in astrophysics, magnetism, cellular biology, meteorology, zoology, etc. together with the themes and stories in all literature, ancient mythology, and pop culture, and integrate them into a seamless narrative where every word, image, and sound has significance and everything always makes perfect sense, which we will be obvious after we watch the final episode. And they were able to do this over a couple of months back in 2004, when they absolutely figured the whole thing out and are now in no way at all making it up as they go along.
And what's even more remarkable is that these reservoirs of human experience and insight came together to apply this omniscient view of the world and the universe and existence not toward frivolous goals like curing disease, eliminating poverty, stopping global warming or simply bettering humanity, but to creating a television show that takes place on a magic island and that once featured a character played by Bai Ling.
It's kind of beautiful, don't you think?
The "'famous doctor" concepts seems to be pretty common in Hollywood. There are these everyday people always having these conversations about various doctors and saying, "Oh, he's very good!". Like everyone is keeping track or something. I only know of about 4 doctors in my city and that's only 'cause I've personally been treated by them. Maybe everyone in Jersey gets a free subscription to Hot Docs Weekly ("Inside: blue or green scrubs? What today's osteo is wearing!").
The other thing everyone who makes medical shows thinks is that doctor=scientist. As if Dr Medical Genius is going around saying, "Gee, sick person. I'd love to intubate you right now but I've gotta go isolate the gene for ankylosing spondylitis. Then at noon I'm curing cancer. Sorry!"
No way. Most doctors never do even a tiny bit of research, and wouldn't know a lab if they accidentally fell into one after stealing their drugs from the hospital stockroom.
Has anyone noticed that all these people started showing up at the hospital AFTER Dr House arrived? Maybe he's a carrier for every whacked-out disease ever (much like I'm pretty sure Jessica Fletcher was the Angel of Death).
I think having the first five minutes be an unrelenting torrent of unbearable non-slang was a stroke of brilliance. Once the ironic hipster bullshit went down a couple of clicks and the frothing mad rage in my brain subsided, the rest of the film didn't seem so bad.
I think it was kind of a cinematic waterboarding. If you no longer feel like you're drowning, a standard beating is probably a pleasant surprise.
If you think that shirtless scene is bad, check out Salva's "Jeepers Creepers II", about a scary dude who swoops out of the air to abduct a bunch of high school football players, but not before they:
- lounge around shirtless
- get all sweaty, and
- gather together to pull down their pants and PEE IN A CIRCLE.
Also, Ray Wise as the hero, the father of a previous victim, driving around in a truck with an improvised 'harpoon gun'. Revenge via phallic symbol!
Comments