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Posts like this make me want to send Gabe a copy of Mother Night
ROLL CALL My name is Patrick I'm geriatric Just did a hat trick So check me ooooouuuut
Wert, how do replies work?
You have to START with Season 4 XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
TODAY IN THIS THING REMINDS ME OF THIS OTHER THING: This thing reminds me of a short film I saw a long time ago, and here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwMHD4mteMs THAT'S IT FOR TODAY'S EDITION OF THIS THING REMINDS ME OF THIS OTHER THING
Hahaha Bob Crane's ghost following Werner Klemperer around, just making him go Hoooooooogan all the time
Michael needing to have two phones for all of the pictures of his kids was my favorite thing, but second might be that Oscar was way into origami for eight years.
"Maybe I'll do a joke about Billy Bob Thornton making a necklace out of one of the breasts; let me check the tone of the comments and see if that's a good plan." http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/grandpa-simpson-gif.gif
Did you see Chris Hadfield wringing out a washcloth in space? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8TssbmY-GM It is the ONLY WAY I want to wring out washcloths now
The Paula Abdul clip was already great but the shot of the moon with an owl sound effect that came after it? (kissing my fingers like a French chef to show how delicious I think something is)
Pretty sure they meant "Cue I role"
I thought it would karmically balance out my new desktop wallpaper
Wait one more http://distilleryimage1.ak.instagram.com/dd0b9258a97111e299af22000a9e29bc_7.jpg
I AM MARRIED TO ALL OF THESE PEOPLE NOW NO TAKEBACKS
http://i894.photobucket.com/albums/ac150/mrbikferd/vgum_zps82ecef79.jpg
NOW I REMEMBER WHY I POISONED YOU
Meant to say this a few weeks ago: sorry i poisoned u
MORE SERIOUSLY (..?): My son's best friend in preschool was one of two Nathans in the class and I thought it was funny that he was called "Nathan B" even when the other Nathan wasn't around. THIS COINCIDED WITH me deciding it was silly for me to have an "Internet Version" of myself, so pre-vgum all of my handles (twitter, flickr, etc.) are MrBikferd, which is a character from my favorite kids book, Who Needs Donuts? and since then I've just used my own name. Oh, except on YouTube I use "lonelygirl15".
I put "Pepper Oakmead" into a reverse porn name generator.
This is exactly why instead of tweeting, I'm sleeping with Dr. Rosen's wife
Oh, it's next week? (halfheartedly does some stomach crunches)
Thanks for all the Editor's Choice awards! I like the new system where only people who got them can see them
I'm sending the Wolf http://www.razorfine.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/wkrp-turkeys-away.jpg
"Rookie mistake!" http://i.huffpost.com/gen/374330/thumbs/s-RICHARD-GERE-small.jpg
"I only watched the first ten seconds of each." http://pjmedia.com/michaelwalsh/files/2012/07/mike_bloomberg_thumbnail_7-24-12.jpg
I hate teen corner because my office chair is an Aeron and you can't turn those around and sit on them backwards
God creates novel. God destroys novel. God creates screenwriter. Screenwriter destroys pants-wetting scene. Screenwriter creates wait hold on I have this.
That''s nothing, the Ourboros is $600 and you have to eat it before it does
GODOT: Afternoon, everyone. ALL: Godot! COACH: What would you say to a beer, Godot? GODOT: They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more.
Remember when I had all that diarrhea? That shit was crazy. (only a squirrel says it)
Wait wait wait I wasn't done reading the foreword yet
"You're gonna need a bigger Brannock Device." http://www.mibba.com/data/images/content/articles/da/b530c2ad.jpg
The whole time I was watching this it felt like my heart was going to pee
If only Lennay Kekua had been raped before getting into a car crash and dying of leukemia then we could all forget about this dumb story
I think they probably take up a lot of energy and time and are exhausting to write, and also they stopped making bad movies. (also, I come here to get away from people talking about sports)
Before Bookgum moved to its final resting place on mobfd.biz, the last book we did on the old site was Kavalier & Clay; if you like checking things out, check it out: http://bookgum.wordpress.com