Comments

I don't know. I guess I don't feel the same way about Morgan Spurlock that Gabe does. We can all agree that he would put Duh Aficionado out of business, but maybe this movie will provide some interesting behind-the-scenes revelations about the advertising industry?? Which would be interesting, yes? "Super Size Me" was gimmicky but also entertaining, and it actually had a small effect on the fast food industry. Super sized meals don't exist anymore and kids can get apples or whatever at McDonald's now. What I'm saying is, this movie will probably be a giant No Duh but that might not mean it's completely worthless. (Quick aside: there are marketing campaigns for milk, beef, and pork for some reason. Why? Does this lead to higher milk sales? And how come there aren't any commercials for lentils? Or broccoli? Or oxygen? I don't understand.)
Well I guess you should film your own four-part series of exceedingly creepy webisodes.
You can't really be sure until you call Mr. Bra, call call Mr. Bra...
I wish there were Videogum recaps of "Million Dollar Listing" or whatever that show's called. It has sucked me in this season. Very entertaining! And rife with moments worthy of Gabe's commentary. This is the new hottness, you guys. I swear.
Fozzy, I definitely agree with your sentiment. Laughter is absolutely a part of the grieving process. I just think a few of these jokes have been out-of-bounds. I get it, we're all trying to crack each other up on here which is why I love reading the comments. Dusky Panther basically begged commenters not to make 9/11 jokes, but it was funny when the first three jokes were actually really mundane jokes that just happened to have 9/11 as a punchline. And then there was a fucking drawing with bodies tumbling to the ground. Hardy har har (no). I'm all for adding a little levity at a funeral when the time is right, but don't be like "WOW, grandpa was a heavy guy. There's gonna be a lot of lucky worms tonighttt!!" A little taste, a little class. That's all.
Sorry, Don Homer. But this shit ain't funny. It's insensitive and fucking gross, actually. But I guess some of you guys thought people who jumped from a burning building in a desperate attempt to save their lives is the stuff of comedy. Jesus fucking christ, you guys. I expected more class.
I didn't like this one, personally. Sorry, Silverpimp. I'm sure you didn't mean to be offensive.
Yes, Obama has done almost nothing to keep his campaign promises. What a corrupt liar he is. Never mind for a minute the health care reform meant to help lower income Americans, financial regulatory reform, the winding down of the Iraq war, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Race to the Top, college tuition reform, etc etc etc. Yeah. Forget all that.
I’m just a rube, so pardon my ignorance in advance, but it annoys me when people reference philosophers when they try to win an argument. Philosophy offers ways of thinking about things, but I’m not sure it offers any definitive answers. So to say Rawls or Irwin or Homer Simpson have squashed the notion of relative morality means nothing to me, a simple-minded rube who’s open to every side of this debate. I don’t doubt CornellWestside’s sincerity about this debate, I’m just saying from my point of view, the way this is being argued is not persuasive. Moreover, this business about absolute or relative morality seems like a red herring to the broader debate Gabe is offering about abortion rights. Please explain to me why I’m wrong, though.
I'm just a rube, so pardon my ignorance in advance, but it annoys me when people reference philosophers when they try to win an argument. Philosophy offers ways of thinking about things, but I'm not sure it offers any definitive answers. So to say Rawls or Irwin or Homer Simpson have squashed the notion of relative morality means nothing to me, a simple-minded rube who's open to every side of this debate. I don't doubt CornellWestside's sincerity about this debate, I'm just saying from my point of view, the way this is being argued is not persuasive. Moreover, this business about absolute or relative morality seems like a red herring to the broader debate Gabe is offering about abortion rights. Please explain to me why I'm wrong, though.
#1. Thank you, Soft Gabe, for this wonder, thoughtful essay. #2. Why do so many shows get wrong what Roseanne got so right? Yes, the jokes were funny and lots of shows get that part wrong. But more than anything, the Conner family came across as a completely real family. I'm sure it's harder than I realize to construct such a realistic fictional family, but still, the success rate is very low. And it makes me a little bit sad for kids today. When I was a kid, I watched the shit out of sitcoms like Roseanne. What do kids watch these days? Skins, I guess. I dunno. Something changed. We all changed. America changed. I keep wondering what it all means.
Mmmm. She was so hot in "Winter's Bone." :-( i just told a lie.
I want Hollywood to embrace the Dominoes Pizza philosophy of feeling embarrassed about the product they've been making for years. I mean, listen, I will never watch "Arthur 2011."* But somebody else will, and that will be just one more drop in the bucket of cultural retardation that I will have to share planet earth with. Am I saying that movies like this one, or the new Sandler movie, or any movie out recently with a title like "What's Up With That?" are to blame for low test scores and general cultural apathy and lethargy. No. But I'm not not saying that either. Hollywood keeps betting on the fact that they can make the movie equivalent of a cat chasing a laser pointer spot moving around the floor and that we will continue to be gullible enough to pay to see it, and they continue to be rewarded. What does that say for all of us? Teenagers rule the world? The ship is sinking? What does it all mean? * shouldn't there be a mandate henceforth that all remakes must require the year it was released at the end of the title so as to distinguish it from the original? So the eventual remakes of "Big" and "The Goonies" and "Gremlins" will look more like "Big 2013" and "The Goonies 2012" etc etc? I guess Blues Bros. 2000 ruins this for everyone. Thanks for nothing, Blues Bros. 2000.
Seriously though, at this point when "Under Pressure" or "Solsbury Hill" or "Low Rider" find their way into a movie trailer, is that some kind of statement being made by the trailer makers. Like, hey everyone, this movie looks awful to us as well. Wink Wink. Sorry. It's just our job to cut movie trailers and this happened to be placed on our desk. That, or it's the doing of some old fucker who's been around the business for years, and every time he thinks to use "Under Pressure" it seems to him like a brand new original thought, like "holy shit, this gives me an idea. You guys ever heard that tune 'Under Pressure?' Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Oh yeaahhh. Movie magic, ladies & gentlemen."
What I really enjoy is Bill's reverse engineered logic. I mean, Mars doesn't have a moon, but WE do. Thus proof. God hung the sun, the moon, and the stars in the sky all for our benefit, leaving out the needs of the non-salvation-seeking planets. Sorry, Mars & Co. I mean, it's retarded to think that humankind might exist by virtue of the fact that the conditions were such here on earth to cultivate living organisms, right? I mean, if there were a million tomato gardens and they were all dry & barren save for the one that was watered, is it a miracle when the one watered garden grows tomatoes, Bill O'Reilly? C'MON!
I'm just surprised nobody's photoshopped a still of Gabe's face over Adrian Grenier's face. There's a similarity there is all I'm saying, dearest Internet friends. I've come to expect certain things. Maybe it's high time I learn how to "photoshop."
that is the best "wait for it" ever.
What I don't understand - and sorry if this has already been mentioned - but who gets paid to pitch TV shows that already exist? "Hey network execs, I have a very solid idea for a teevee show. It's called Skins and it already happens to be a show in Great Britain. Sure, sure, we could just re-air those episodes on America's MTV as though they were brand new. But let's say we remake it verbatim using American actors? How's that for an idea? I mean, these kids would never watch the original British episodes. ...True, true these kids were raised on Harry Potter and didn't seem to need that Americanized, but still...that's my contribution to this meeting. I worked all night on it. All night."
on behalf of 'merica, I apologize.
Very well said. Although, I keep wondering how much America REALLY cares. Like if The Today Show, TMZ, the E! network, late night talk shows, wacky morning zoo radio shows, etc etc etc, didn't constantly serve this crap to a passive nation of entertainment consumers, would we continue to seek it out? For a few weeks last year I watched The Today Show with one eye from around 7:00am - 7:30am, and I shit you not, every day - every single goddamned day - an actual fully-grown adult man was offering live reports on location from the town where Lindsay Lohan was rehabbing or whatever, as if the whole fucking nation was on constant pins and needles just dying to know what she was eating for breakfast. Maybe some people actually think they are dying to know? I just personally feel surrounded by all the inescapable coverage of these celebrities, and I can't imagine I'm the only one who doesn't give a shit. You open Yahoo! and there they are. You check-out at the grocery store and stare at the glossy magazines. Just like shitty music that is flooded upon our nation, eventually it becomes ingrained and popular despite its lack of having value. I guess my point is that our Mass Media is town square of Garbage Town, it is the beating heart of our soulless popular culture. Somewhere in America, there is a guy who owns all of Nickelback's albums and he doesn't even know why. That is the nature of being a sheep wandering through Garbage Town.
this deserves more approval than it has so far, in my humble estimation.
Hey 50, you haven't lived until you've been to downtown Sand Lake. It's a short drive north. Unless Sparta is more to your liking.
I'm sure it's been done already, but I couldn't find it: Bill & Ted's Egg Nog-cellent Adventure
"EggNogs & Broomsticks" = we have a winner. Congratulations.
I felt the same way. Except when I watched LOST I felt things. This show: ambivalence. Also, it definitely reminds me of LOST with all the: "Hey, let's just walk somewhere and hope something happens" plotting.
Not to get all Steve Winwood here, but I thought we agreed Gabe looks like Shane, not the barista-soon-to-be-zombie guy? But as I was once told in Detroit's 36th district court by a woman who didn't like me very much: all white people look the same.
Totally agreed. Especially the part where you said you have faith. For some reason I do too.
I think the key to what you said is it's ATTEMPTING to be about something more. So far it has come up very short in actually saying anything. I keep wondering if Grimes as our protagonist is supposed to be a commentary on the relationship between humanity & ethics. Like, despite the Zombie Apocalypse, he's willing to just go straight back to Atlanta in some altruistic gesture to save the father & son who saved him. Here's the thing: 1. Is it altruistic to leave your family behind to help two strangers? I don't think so. Is that humankind at its best? Again, I'm not sure it is. For the matter, I can't imagine the father wanting Grimes to come back for them. This guy is suffering the loss of his wife, yet he gets to save a guy who in turn becomes reunited with his wife & kid. He would say, "Stop being a damn fool, son. You're with your family. I'd give anything to have my whole family back. Never EVER leave them." 2. I find "Breaking Bad" to challenge my notion of ethics much much more than this show. Plus, Breaking Bad is just so much better. The characters are so so so so much better realized. The situations actually feel scarier. And what I'm saying is "The Walking Dead" has a long way to go if it wants to be considered among the other great shows on AMC.
"Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure" is worth mentioning. Nobody has seen it except me (hopefully), but I assure you it exists and it's as embarrassing as you might imagine. Made for TV, so maybe that disqualifies if officially. Unofficially, it's easily the worst.
I enjoy this movie and I don't know why. I'm sappy maybe? I would never try to defend it; I understand I'm alone.
If these jokes are wearing you down, maybe a little time off is just what the doctor ordered? I really love this website, Gabe's writing, the cast of characters, etc. I think the inside stuff makes this collection of monsters a community. Let's not try to control it! So Funtastic, I say you get a nice mixed drink and lay out on the beach for a little while. Clear your head of all the 2012's and so on. Remember what life was like before Videogum. And then come back and enjoy it anew!
If when we die and go to heaven we transform into our young adult selves or whatever bullshit they said, PLEASE tell me WHAT THE FUCK CORTON BLURPO morphes into??!! Does he suddenly fucking age 14 years to the heavenly appropriate 21 yrs of age? HoW the fuck does that work BLURPO!!??
A thousand upvotes for you, my friend. Imagine if all news outlets just dumped the notion of attribution altogether. No more "allegedly." Nothing. Sarah Palin says, "I believe Barack Hussain Obama is an Islamic Extremist." And the FOX News ticker reads: "Obama an Islamic Extremist." I just want to know if they really don't understand what journalistic integrity means or if they're just like "Fuck it. This is easier and more manipulative and our fucking brain-dead backwater audience can't tell the difference between a newspaper and an US Weekly, so who gives a fuck. Roll it, boys."