In all seriousness, you're doing a fantastic job, Kelly! I really have no complaints or suggestions. Well, I guess if I did, it would be about my personal distaste for internet-attention-baiting public marriage proposals, but I don't need to look at those if I don't want to! That's a freedom that our founding fathers died on the cross for us to have. Some people really like those weird things, so that's great! "Who am I to judge?" - Pope That One. Keep up the very very good work!
Exclamation Points!!!
"Please don’t say Gabe Delahaye — I can bring him back, but I simply refuse to."
This just confirms that Gabe is being kept in an underground bunker as a secret blog slave.
Please more of this! Super heart-shaped emoticon.
Also, I had a weird dream which heavily featured Famke Janssen and Hugh Jackman on a closed set of the next X-Men Movie. I haven't watched an X-Men movie in years. Let's just say it was interesting. This occurred the day before Kelly first posted about Ms. Janssen.
Is it fate that I'll have a nice interaction with her and talk about it afterwards in abstract terms, with Hugh Jackman, complete with references to my childhood? Probably. Maybe. We can never know.
I'll give you guys an update when it happens.
It was terrible. I have a ton of work and I'm falling behind. I had to cancel a face-to-face because the drive would make me really late so I had to do a meeting remotely. There's a deadline that I'm not sure if I'll reach, so I need to work after hours for maybe the next couple weeks. I planned to meet friends for bar trivia and I told my wife I'd cook. I'm not sure what I'm doing on Videogum.
White people problems.
Two young graphic designers who live in New York decided to date each other for forty days and blog about it? And now there's going to be a movie about it. I think I passed out from rolling my eyes too hard.
The fact that there weren't enough shitty comments to garner a "Worst Rated" makes me smile. That said, I think the bug picture is pretty adorable! Look at its face! It's clearly saying, "What's up, guys?! I've got a ton of nightmares on my back! I don't give a fuck!" Seriously, look at its head! I love this thing so much.
Sometimes, when I see these weird YouTube displays of supposed masculinity, I go through very brief, rapid stages of reaction:
- "I wish my chest was that hairy. That's kind of a 'manly' thing - though that's being redefined constantly."
- "He obviously works with wood. That's also a presumably 'manly' thing. I've done woodwork a few times, but I nearly cut the tip of my middle finger off, but my dog now has a very nice shelf for all of his stuff. Plus, I drank beer while I did it, which basically makes me Jason Statham."
- "There's an obvious obsolescence for this type of display, proved by thousands of years of technical ingenuity - why not just use a hammer?"
- "What's the point of this? Even a modern, supposedly evolved culture is strangely barraged with masculine idiocy, be it war or a half-naked, hairy dude trying to pound nails into a board with his bare hands. What's the equivalent of this for women? Why isn't there one?"
- "Oh, right - Pinterest."
FUN FACT: Directly behind the camera is a porn theater/probably sex club and a donut shop that makes a donut shaped like a dick and balls, sometimes with jizzy frosting.
I watched some old 30 Rock episodes last night, and it's now apparent that Jack & Jonathan is pretty much Burns & Smithers. I think Jonathan would love to have the relationship with Jack that Montgomery & Waylon do.
My boyfriend is very organized and passionate about his interests. He's into vintage fashion and pop culture. He's 5'9" and I'm 4'2". We have conversations about my insecurities with my height, and in those moments he always lets me know how beautiful I am. When I'm tired, I go to bed before he does and sometimes I can hear him clanging around in the cabinets. It's just cool to know that he's that committed to the aesthetics of our living space.
Also, McConaughey is mother goddamn effing killing it lately! What the hell happened a few years ago where he was like, "Alright, I'll just pick really interesting scripts that play perfectly into my persona and act the fuck out every role while still seeming effortless." Dude did a complete career 180 from romcom purgatory. I love it.
Pshh, everyone knows that you need to say Candyman five times before he appears. Just kidding, only grown men who couldn't look in a mirror for weeks after seeing Candyman in the sixth grade and kinda snuggled with their friend afterwards but for me I think it was just because I was scared but he was erect and I was so scared by the movie that I didn't think about the implications until years later and I haven't talked to that friend in more than a decade but last I heard he's in jail for like theft of something... only those people know that you need to say Candyman five times.
It legitimately worries me that Michael Bay is a consistent cultural figure. I mean, he's obviously putting everyone on, he obviously has tremendous technical chops... what's the deal? It's just painful to know that he'll be studied in film school for decades to come. He either loves or hates cinema and it's impossible to tell which. Is he approaching his work with any sense of irony? Does he look at this pic as "Everyone considers my work to be one giant unaware phallic symbol"? He's like if Von Trier and Spielberg had a kid and that kid was so boring that, not only would you not show up to his bar mitzvah, you'd send a check and a five-page, handwritten letter explaining why. He's beyond self-parody. He's ventured into broad sadism.
On paper, he's one of the most interesting filmmakers in decades. On screen, he's so boring that I wish a muscled, racist robot would crush me in my seat while the camera spins around me with American flags flapping like limp dicks in the background.
I think everyone at this point is in unanimous agreement that Walt is an absolute monster. There's not really anything to discuss on that front. Walt's a full blown villain right now. It's kinda beside the point to talk about how much we don't like him.
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